Support for LateToSchool

[maineparent]

<p>ADad… what a great, timely quote. </p>

<p>Thanks for sharing that one… I really like it a lot.</p>

[jmmom]

<p>ADad, love the quote as well. Reminds me of another favorite:</p>

<p>There are two kinds of people in the world: those who focus on Why We Can’t and those who focus on How We Can.</p>

[epistrophy]

<p>

“You’re so brave,” people would say. “You’re a real hero.”</p>

<p>I used to get that a lot after my hair fell out. The effects of chemotherapy made me look like some plucky child protagonist in a movie of the week. Volunteering to have cancer to spare someone else the pain of it would have been heroic. But I was no volunteer.</p>

<p>“I’m not brave,” I would say, “I’m just unlucky.”</p>

<p>This made people uncomfortable. But I would rather do that than accept unearned praise or, worse, listen to comments that, to me, dishonor those who have died of cancer.</p>

<p>During the 10 years I’ve been a cancer survivor, my marriage has grown stronger, my bouncing baby has blossomed into a gorgeous virtuoso of sarcasm, and my career has taken flight. I am grateful for this life every day.</p>

<p>It’s tough being a cancer patient. Surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and the prospect of painful, premature death are quite enough for one person to shoulder. The additional burden of sainthood is simply too much. . . .

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/01/AR2007060102167.html[/url]”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/01/AR2007060102167.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[1sokkermom]

<p>LTS,</p>

<p>I was looking at Duke’s website and saw this article. It seems that there may be some Doctors out there who are changing their attitudes about cancer treatment, thanks in part to patients like you. I’m not sure if you have seen this.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.localtechwire.com/business/local_tech_wire/biotech/story/2377575/[/url]”>http://www.localtechwire.com/business/local_tech_wire/biotech/story/2377575/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>(It is interesting to read even though I understand that his focus has not been your specific type of cancer. However, his attitude is enlightening)</p>

[epistrophy]

<p>

Cancer is feared in this country - almost beyond anything else. Yet it has brought a certain joy and peace to our lives that I would have never believed possible. And I can tell you, that once you find a way to embrace this joy and peace, cancer loses its power.</p>

<p>My husband has pancreatic cancer. This follows an initial bout with neuroendicrine cancer, which we are told he HAS beaten. But pancreatic is not so easy. Plus, his is inoperable. Right now, however, he IS beating it, and right now is all I can care about.</p>

<p>Therein lies the peace. Never before could either one of us just live day to day: embracing the loveliness and joy of each 24 hours, simply for what it alone presented. Now, knowing that we only have those 24 right in front of us, we are at peace with what they give us. Joy follows, in that we now know a different kind of living, one that is deeper and more intense.</p>

<hr>

<p>Cancer will not win this battle, even if it eventually takes the life of my beloved husband. Because we have already beaten it: facing the fear took away cancer’s power. Intensifying our love for one another and for life itself gave US power.

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=5120&&yval=0&start=10400&yval=0&r=[/url]”>http://www.thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=5120&&yval=0&start=10400&yval=0&r=&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[mommusic]

<p>epistrophy–even tho our immediate family has not suffered in this way…I can sort of understand this.</p>

<p>Whenever my H and I have gone to a funeral–for someone taken with breast cancer, a sudden heart attack, whatever…we are nicer to each other for days afterwards. </p>

<p>Makes you realize what really matters in life–being alive and having each other, family, friends.</p>

[epistrophy]

<p>

When my grandfather died of lung cancer in 1961, he never knew he had it. In those days, the thinking went, if patients knew they had cancer, they lost the will to live. In 1961, cancer was basically a death sentence; there were so few survivors of any kind of cancer, and lung cancer was the worst of the worst. The agreed upon philosophy was that if the mind does not know, the body can go on a while longer. A linguistic placebo effect. So when my grandmother was told my grandfather had cancer, the doctor’s advice was not to tell my grandfather unless he asked. She was to carry on as if she didn’t know and only talk about his illness if he asked. And he never asked.</p>

<p>My grandfather lived nine months longer than any of the doctors predicted, so maybe he didn’t know. I learned from that family story that what we label ourselves—or what we don’t label ourselves—greatly affects outcome. I think that both my grandparents knew intuitively that words have great power, and their lesson has helped me.</p>

<p>I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and shortly afterwards with chronic lymphocetic leukemia—yes, lightening does strike twice in the same spot. At my initial visit to the oncologist, I came loaded with questions. However, the first question I blurted out, one not even on my list, was “When can I call myself a survivor?” I have no idea why I asked that question except that I wanted that label survivor and I wanted to know how to qualify. My linguistic placebo effect. Contrary to my grandfather’s time when no one talked of cancer, now cancer patients want to be known as survivors.</p>

<p>My oncologist’s answer was a disappointment. “You can call yourself a survivor anytime you want.” I didn’t want something so open-ended. Where’s the achievement in that? And so after the chemo, the radiation, and drug therapy, I found that that phrase survivor became more and more inappropriate for me. Survivor means you’ve gotten off the island; you’ve been rescued and gone back to your normal life. But with my diagnosis of breast cancer and CLL, there is no going back. Only forward.</p>

<p>Which is why I prefer to think of myself as someone who “lives with cancer”, emphasis on the word “lives”. </p>

<hr>

<p>In my grandfather’s day, it was not speaking of cancer that enabled both my grandfather and grandmother able to go on. Today, it is finding the right way to speak of it that is so important to living.

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=35259&topessays=3[/url]”>http://www.thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=35259&topessays=3&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[keymom]

<p>These last posts have really hit home here. You think what in the world could be positive about cancer. Well, after 25 years of marriage, I had started really taking my husband for granted. I find myself falling in love all over again with my husband.</p>

[Delicate_Arch]

<p>When I was diagnosed with cancer, several of my friends with cancer and I found the term “survivor” funny. It not only has the uncertainty about when it applies, but it evokes images of Gilligan’s Island (I think you have to be a certain age to get this). I rather prefer the term cancer experienced.</p>

<p>One of the things they don’t tell you when you are diagnosed is that your old self is now gone - gone for good and you now get to put your self back together again. I found it a bit like being a teenager, strong and willful one day, teary and sentimental the next, and so on. A veritable collage of outlooks and ways of being. Out of this stew of experiences emerges a new reconstructed self, hence the term “cancer experienced”. </p>

<p>I imagine if you are intimately involved with someone who has cancer you too become cancer experience, although in a different way.</p>

[micromom]

<p>LTS, thank you for sharing. </p>

<p>I found out today that a dear lady (about 60, non-smoker) I know at church was diagnosed with lung cancer this week. I don’t know if it is sclc or another type. I have learned so much from your posts and hope to share this with her. You are a great inspiration, LTS. Hope your weekend is going well. Take care.</p>

[mythmom]

<p>Delicate Arch, </p>

<p>Yes, we do. My father had Cancer twenty-seven years ago, and I am sure the me who is here is very influenced by that cancer experience.</p>

[latetoschool]

<p>Micromom, I am so sorry to hear this about the lady at church. You may wish to share with her that I have amassed a databank of sorts of survivors of sclc extensive who are three to 20 years out, and, today, I retrieved a voicemail message on my cancer phone (cell phone specifically dedicated for doctor office calls, etc. so that cancer doesn’t invade the rest of my communication system or bother me when I don’t want to hear from it) from a survivor that I left a message for back in October. His message back to me says that he just now discovered this old message, sorry to be so late calling me back, and, he was diagnosed with sclc extensive in 2002, was told he had two to six months to live; the doctors gave up after six months of chemotherapy, so, he prayed very hard to THE doctor for help, and, somehow, his cancer has remained stable since 2002. Clearly, God is still in the healing business.</p>

[latetoschool]

<p>Delicate Arch, I am leaning more and more towards the term “cancer warrior”. I am so incredibly, terribly, frighteningly angry about all of the injustices I have observed during this experience - almost all of them towards persons who do not have the resources to help themselves. It’s just so wrong, so terribly wrong. I am angry enough to declare a small but very violent war. Unfortunately. any serious energy committed to corrective action now will simply be wasted - have to wait until a new administration is in office. In the short term, there are some things that can be done through the private sector, and I am trying to focus on that. Regardless of if I have two more months left or 20 more years I spend a little bit of time every day working on this and I will do so as long as I am able.</p>

[micromom]

<p>Wow - what a great story about the man who was diagnosed in 2002! Thanks for sharing that. Yup, only God is The Decider. I will tell Doris (the lady in my post) about your databank of survivors. That will give her hope. Your posts are so valuable for people like me who have not experienced (yet) cancer first-hand (with immediate family members or personally). I now have an idea about some of the things I should pray for when praying for Doris. I am hoping the first line chemo will be super effective and she can tolerate it w/out problems. I will pray that no nasty resistant cells will develop.</p>

[CountingDown]

<p>LTS,
Cancer warrior is the term used on some of the support boards I’m on…</p>

[Kelowna]

<p>LTS -I am reading almost daily. You are a winner! Believe that! Fight!
My friend (ovarian cancer) is doing well. Her Pet scan showed some uptakes but she has no symptoms and is fighting with a second chemo. Her daughter is turning five this March and they are getting a dog! (they watch ours when we are away and they have fallen in love with a Golden Retriever)
Today at work one of my patients was a husband of a co-worker, diagnosed on Friday with lung cancer. We do not know the type yet. Thanks to YOU and thanks to this thread I am becoming a better oncology nurse - even though I did consider myself to be quite good:-)
I entered my patient’s rooms today with a smile on my face and “hey, you had this test yesterday, here are the results, numbers, you might want to write it down ,and I think…” coming from my lips
Sometimes we do not know why certain things happen in our lives, but I do know for sure that reading this thread is making me a better nurse for my patients.</p>

[epistrophy]

<p>

IT is not every day that you meet extraordinary people. However, on the days that you do, you recognise almost immediately that everything in this life comes with a trade off. For yachtsman Andrew Burke, the trade off was the loss of his right shoulder. </p>

<p>Today, standing proudly on the deck of his 45 foot yacht, the Regent 1, Andrew Burke is the epitome of strength, both inside and out, as he prepares himself for a solo, one-armed sail around Barbados. Setting sail on February 10, Andrews undertaking is designed to raise funds for the Barbados Cancer Society and awareness about cancer in general. </p>

<p>After being diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and losing his left arm and shoulder in 2005, Andrew has been described by those who know him as a Cancer Warrior. Never missing a beat, Andrews only interest was what his situation could do to help others. Recently, Andrew met another just like him in the form of a one-legged seven year old called Xavier Greenidge. </p>

<p>Xavier, another Cancer Warrior, was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at the age of five. His mother, Natasha, was then met with the terrible decision to have his entire left leg amputated. Today, standing proudly on his crutches, Xaviers spirit and passion for life are almost indescribable and when interacting with the young man, the term disability hardly ever crosses your mind. . . .

</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.barbadosadvocate.com/NewViewNewsleft.cfm?Record=34484[/url]”>http://www.barbadosadvocate.com/NewViewNewsleft.cfm?Record=34484&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

[dmd77]

<p>Delicate Arch and LTS–I’m delighted to see some alternatives to “cancer survivor.” I like “cancer warrior” for someone who’s in treatment, and I like “cancer-experienced” for those of us who are post treatment and just trying not to worry too much. I’ve always hated “survivor” as it makes me thing, every single time I hear it, “I won’t be a cancer survivor until I die of something else!”</p>

<p>Anyway, thanks for the ideas.</p>

<p>And LTS----I like the image of you as a cancer warrior. I see you charging into battle, flags flying, massive clashes, sword swinging and poison gasses seeping into the opposition, and cancer cells dying around your feet, slashed and leaking protoplasm as they gasp for oxygen.</p>

[anxiousmom]

<p>My mother-in-law just called, and the MRI that she had before routine surgery showed two lumps on her lobes. She’s been diagnosed with lung cancer. :(</p>

[momof2inca]

<p>oh anxiousmom, I’m so very sorry to hear this. How difficult for you and your family. I hope and pray that she will receive the very best medical care and that she will overcome this setback. My grandmother passed away from lung cancer (she was a smoker, age 57) back in 1970. She shared my room with me before she went into the hospital for that last time. Medicine has come so incredibly far in the decades since then, so there is great hope for your mom to make it through this. I will pray for her and for you!</p>