<p>Was away for the weekend, and somehow missed this when I got back…</p>
<p>There is little to add to the wonderful outpouring of support that the CC community has sent your way, but of course I add my voice and my heartfelt wish for your swift and overwhelming victory in this battle–no one I know is better armed than you to accomplish this. </p>
<p>Your strength radiates through every word you write here (as it always has).</p>
<p>You are right on, LTS! Don’t let anyone undermine the strength of the mind/body connection, as well as the role of positive thinking, spirituality and religion in healing. In fact, physicians often have classwork and training in techniques such as visualization/relaxation, etc., since the role in patient healing is so paramount. Some people dismiss this as New Age poppycock, but professionals know otherwise. You know otherwise, LTS. This is a conference, sponsored by Harvard Medical School, in fact:</p>
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</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.cme.med.harvard.edu/cmeups/custom/00271464/00271464.htm[/url]”>http://www.cme.med.harvard.edu/cmeups/custom/00271464/00271464.htm</a></p>
<p>Stay strong LTS.</p>
<p>Latetoschool- Sending you my thoughts and prayers.
13 years ago my sibling was given a cancer diagnosis with the news that she had 5 months tops to live. I just spent 5 days with her. She is cancer free.
Keep on fighting.</p>
<p>Invisible friends, yes, just think of us here as one big “Harvey” and you are James Stewart. He wasn’t crazy, either.</p>
<p>WHile pressing a physical disability claim, based only on bone injuries, I got shuttled in to see a psychiatrist, and didn’t know why. He asked if I was depressed, and I said no… He said, “To clarify, aside from being depressed over having lost the full use of your body, being unable to work, and having to process this claim, are you depressed about anything else?” I said “no.” At the moment, the claim is under appeal, and was denied so far for reasons of insufficient proof for the physicality “and depression.” SInce I never ever filed on the basis of depression, I don’t know why it keeps rearing its ugly head as a point of discussion. Like you, mental health is NOT my big concern and never was. But this psychiatric thread is like a weed that won’t go away from the discussion table… My sympathies, not that you need them since you AREN"T depressed!!!</p>
<p>I read an old thread yesterday on something else, and there you were, LTS, describing an encounter with someone at an airline, standing up for yourself appropriately. You didn’t just become this fighter since the diagnosis. You’re pulling on old strengths…and we’re all pulling for you, too.</p>
<p>LTS, I hope you don’t mind, but I told your story to a neighbor and her 2,000+ congregation all prayed for you yesterday morning. Her small prayer group will also be praying every day. </p>
<p>Many, many invisible friends are pulling for you.</p>
<p>LTS–Would also like to send my best wishes to you, and would like to bash the statistics that patients are given. When my husband was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer 20 years ago, the odds were heavily stacked against him regarding metastasis. As we waited for the results of the numerous scans and tests he was given, we tried to prepare ourselves for the “certainty” that the cancer would have already spread. Well, it hadn’t. He was one of the very view that beat the odds. All that matters is YOU.</p>
<p>LTS,
I’ve been gone all weekend and just went through this thread. My prayers are also with you. It’s uplifting to read your positive fighting attitude. Another CC’er pulling for you.</p>
<p>LTS,</p>
<p>You are in my prayers. We are all with you.</p>
<p>Ditto what Cangel said.</p>
<p>martharap, I am so happy to hear about your husband’s victory over cancer, and all the other stories of winning against the odds in this thread. But this statement bothers me:</p>
<p>“He was one of the very view that beat the odds.”</p>
<p>The chances are almost never zero that the patient will beat the disease; at worse they are heavily in favor of the unhappy outcome. But there have to be some people on the smaller end, and being there doesn’t mean “beating the odds.”</p>
<p>Sorry for this digression. Being pedantic is one of my more annoying qualities.</p>
<p>The deeper crevices of any health system are scary indeed. A seriously ill patient needs as much intellectual firepower and high level connections as they can bring to the table so that they can make decisions with doctors who have huge brainpower and daring. In the doctor-beating-the-odds game, you simply have to have the smartest gambler in the arena.</p>
<p>When my FIL dropped from a massive stroke in the midst of his early Fortune 500 CEO retirement, the staff kept asking about family support. I didn’t get the full ramifications of those queries until several years later, when I tallied up all the support that family gave. Over years, not weeks. Friends? Funnily, their best friends scurried into the corner after a few months and new friends with deep, heartfelt compassion, emerged unexpectedly. Keep your eyes open for those.</p>
<p>It must be frustrating to be pigeonholed so suddenly–into the weirdest pigeonhole imaginable. A sickie. Your anger is right there at the surface and so it should be. WTH??? </p>
<p>Still, try to refrain from biting the hands that are trying to feed you–however robotic those hands may be. Or, bite them in cyberspace (with a vengence haha) but then let their underlying message sink in for a bit of reasoned consideration. </p>
<p>Support. You won’t always have the strength for your fight. Your brain may be affected by the treatments. You need a feisty advocate, a mini-you, someone who could accompany you on a two or three year hitch. Is that your daughter? Is that the best choice for the both of you? Or do you have someone else?</p>
<p>LTS,
I am having a somewhat similar experience to P3T with the rush to depression diagnoses. From my experience, and from others who share my disease, part of the motivation to find these diagnoses is to lay the groundwork for possible disability claims later. Evidently Social Security is looking to see how much of your life is affected by the disease and its side effects, including one’s mental health. Just a thought…</p>
<p>My MH counselor has verified this previously and has offered to write letters to help my claim for disability coverage. It just sticks in my craw, however, so I haven’t asked her for this assistance – I am not depressed. I never really DID get depressed. I have mourned, to be sure, and that grieving is an ongoing process, just as is the discovery of the silver linings in this journey.</p>
<p>Frankly, I was relieved to finally have a diagnosis after two years of vague symptoms that never “clicked” im my mind or in my primary physician’s. My kids were 10 & 11 when I was diagnosed – I was not going to let their lives come screeching to a halt because of me. I worked for another 18 months after dx and while doing ung-dly amounts of Interferon injections each day. But the day finally came when I could not longer be a good spouse, employee and mom, and I had to choose. I don’t get to come off of chemo with my disease, so the ongoing treatment and side effects (and all the accompanying issues) never go away. </p>
<p>Otherwise, for me, counseling has laid bare all the other issues in my life I didn’t want to deal with – and now have no choice but to do so – due to the cancer.</p>
<p>Hoping you have a productive and healing day!!</p>
<p>LTS: you might find something useful in these patient information exchange sites.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/10/01/BUDKSGAF4.DTL&type=business[/url]”>http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/10/01/BUDKSGAF4.DTL&type=business</a></p>
<p>I just found this thread. LTS, I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you, and that I will pray for you. Keep up your strength and your fight. If anyone can beat this thing, it is you. I say that bc over the years I have read your posts and I know how independent, and tough you are. Keep it going now.</p>
<p>Okay, so if you want to smile, I have a link to this thread. I remember the couple of laughs that we had together on it. Actually, I was laughing so hard that I was crying! It has popped into my mind since, and still given me a laugh. Here it is:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=235233&highlight=bidet[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=235233&highlight=bidet</a></p>
<p>LTS- my prayers are with you.</p>
<p>Hope you are doing well today!</p>
<p>Northeastmom, thank you for linking that thread, it was hilarious! I needed a good laugh and it’s as funny today as it was yesterday. </p>
<p>Yesterday was a tough day - I came to the decision over the weekend to get a second pair of eyes on this, and so needed to get my medical records sent to one of the major cancer institutes. So I ran around to the oncologist’s office, and the hospital signing release forms and issuing instructions where to send my medical records. It took like three hours to go to all the offices where I needed to go. The entire time I could not stop myself from thinking, “thank heavens I can at least do this for myself - what do people do who cannot do this for themselves, and/or who are all alone and have no one to help them?”. I tried not to feel bad but I just felt so horrible…I kept thinking of people who have something suddenly strike, and they cannot make decisions or take action on their own. </p>
<p>Then, I did more research online, but, decided I should stop. There is so much negative, frightening information on this particular sort of cancer and absolutely no good news, and, I am convinced that negative thinking will kill me before anything else will, so, I made the decision that I will do no further research on my own. It’s just too difficult to read about what this disease does to people and I do not see how it helps me. It is very difficult to find any survivor stories, and, even some friends in real life I have spoken with who are battling cancer, they seem to live in such a state of terror of their next scheduled scans. One friend in particular I spoke to yesterday, she is cancer free and nearly three years out (thyroid cancer). She told me there are some days where the fear just overwhelms her, even now. There has to be a way to maintain a positive mindset, without closing one’s mind to useful information. I am wondering if the stress of being so afraid of this thing is what does people in, more than the rapidly dividing cells. </p>
<p>I do very much appreciate all of the kind words, and prayers - yes, we do believe very strongly in the power of prayer. In the hospital I had the fortune of counsel and assistance from from both the catholic priests that I requested, and the on staff rabbi that I did not request. My daughter and I were incredibly impressed with the rabbi - we both very much enjoyed and benefitted from our conversations with him and we could not get enough of him. There is one God, and many paths to Him, and so I am very, very grateful for prayers.</p>
<p>Okay, so that link made me laugh again too. You can’t have too much love and laughter right now! I agree, don’t do the research if it all so negative. LTS, I have a family member with cancer and when he was being treated he did what you are thinking of doing. He did not want to hear the prognosis, the doctor’s thoughts, etc. He only wanted to remain strong, and have access to every treatment to fight the disease. He left the room for Q&As between family and his oncologist (he gave permission for family to hear about prognosis, successes with various treatments). When the oncologist asked if he would like to try treatment A vs. B, he made those decisions with his doctor. He only wanted to hear enough to make an informed decision, but no more than that.</p>
<p>I am glad that the rabbi is supporting you as much the priests.</p>
<p>LTS - when you pursue a second opinion, and if this requires you to go to another hospital I will give you a head’s up - the hospital chaplains can be of all faiths. Typically, your larger facilities have many chaplains on staff, including a Catholic priest, because there are certain ministries only a priest can provide for the facility’s Catholic patients. But since there is such a shortage of priests, the rest of the chaplain staff is typically rounded out by people of other faiths, as you found. During one of my clinical field education units, there was a rabbi in our student group, and he was phenomenal. An effective chaplain should be able to minister, regardless of anyone’s faith. Being an effective chaplain is about identifying and encouraging the ‘patient’s’ (I hate using that word) own inner resources that bring them strength and comfort. If you EVER run across one who is trying to convert you (there are some out there, but usually don’t make it far in an institutionally run facility), I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they approached you! I will also add that many oncology departments and units have a chaplain assigned to just that area, so if prayer brings you strength, you can ask for the chaplain to make occasional visits with you to pray with you. I will also add that the non-Catholic chaplains, as a huge generalization, tend to have more time to spend with patients (again, I hate the word) because their time isn’t prioritized by the sacraments that only the priest can offer, and therefore, must be out on the floors providing.</p>
<p>One more observation - when, in my agency, someone ‘refuses’ some sort of treatment, etc., we use the word ‘declines’. For instance in our charting, we might say, “patient or patient’s family declines the offer of _______.” Somehow declines has a different connotation than refuses. Yes, health care is driven by a CYA attitude and Medicare, but for those who know how to be their own advocates, it can be life-saving. Believe it or not, when you beat this illness, you will probably miss those who you’ve gotten to know through the treatment process. Many cancer survivors often return to their place of treatment for a quick, “Hi… how are ya?” check in with the medical staff, because they’ve become so close with them, and truly care about them. With the right team behind you, they will become like family.</p>
<p>LTS,</p>
<p>Praying for you and your daughter.</p>