<p>“Astrophysicsmom, I would inquire as to whether you would be allowed to have a few sips of wine with your Italian cuisine if zoosermom is to be your mommy!”</p>
<p>As long as she is sober enough to get me back to the hotel! She doesn’t want a blowout party, she wants to do something unique, but has no idea what that might be. As I said, she’s also going through a phase (please God, a phase!) where nothing makes her happy, so . . .</p>
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<p>No, not at all. I don’t see it as an issue of extravagance but rather as a misguided attempt to celebrate a milestone in a young person’s life by giving the young person a gift more befitting one in a mid-life crisis. I think a powerful sports car in the hands of an inexperienced driver and still-brain-developing 16-year-old is a very different machine than it is in the hands of an experienced driver and mature adult. Those involved are strangers to me, but I cried for them as did the community as a whole. As parents, the trick is to foresee the possibilities–good and bad–and make judgments as the guardians of our children that include consideration beyond what is the coolest/grandest/most-pleasing/most enjoyable car–or party–one can afford.</p>
<p>zoosermom,
here are some ideas of parties my kids had or went to and enjoyed. I think sometimes the big showy parties lack a real sense of connectedness.</p>
<p>take a group of friends to a comedy club,
dinner at a fondue place,
game night at home (taboo, cranium) followed by make your own sundaes,
girls only ‘tea at the ritz’ and overnight stay,
weekend at one family’s cabin on a lake, and one cabin at a ski resort</p>
<p>zooser—I’d gladly eat my way through Italy with you…and promise to get you safely back to the hotel, whether I’ve partaken in any vino or not…</p>
<p>When I was that age, I was always enjoyed the habachi cooking in restaurants. Some of these places have you in and out fairly quickly, so you’d need to combine it with something. </p>
<p>How are thos mystery tours? I have never been on one, but perhaps that’s different than a DJ.</p>
<p>A couple of my son’s friends for various occasions did the following: one flew 2 other friends along with family to Miami for a week (this did include one college tour of UM while they were there). Another one flew a couple of kids to some island where the parents own a property. This was a long weekend excursion. Another family took a vacation to Mexico where they own a time share and their D invited one friend (I know about that one bc my son saw them in Mexico-he had no idea that they would be there).</p>
<p>You could organize a bus trip (chartered bus, could even be a small bus/van) where you invite her friends to go to 2-4 different places. She, and her friends (you could tell the parents, but they must keep it a secret) would have no idea as to where they are going. This way she can’t say “no” to one of your ideas, unless she says no to the unknown bus trip entirely. In other words, some sort of mystery day/evening.</p>
<p>great stories…keep um coming…</p>
<p>I did a sleigh ride for my sweet 16. Horse drawn sleigh with family and friends, roasted marshmallows and made s’mores. After the sleigh ride we all had dinner. Before dessert I talked a little about how each person there had brought something meaningful to my life. It was a lot of fun. I did the research on my own, knowing that we weren’t going to do anything that was a real blow out. For gifts we made little packages that had mugs, hot chocolate, candles, wintery things to remind people of the sleigh ride. </p>
<p>I never went to a blowout party, it wasn’t a big thing at my high school. For 18th birthday parties there were sometimes bigger events, but even then, no blowouts. I discovered that I had fun planning birthday parties and threw surprise parties for my two best friends for their 18th birthdays, one was a BBQ on the deck of the vacation home my family owns. It was about an hour from our high school and most of our friends came down. We had a lot of fun just hanging out and watching movies. The second was a bowling party, we went for pizza and then went bowling. I think those parties were a lot more fun than anything I’ve attended that have had tons of people, it made it more personal for the birthday girl and everyone hung out together.</p>
<p>My daughter just had a 16th party in December. I definitely wanted to do something special, but not MTV special. 
In our case, we built the theme around her interest in anime and Japanese culture. I found an anime-themed hotel in a nearby city that has special “gaming suites” with giant TVs and gaming consoles. I rented a suite for the night and she invited 10 or so friends, though only 6 could come. They had a slumber party in the suite. I stocked the fridge with Japanese sodas and snacks and took the whole crowd to dinner at a very well rated Thai restaurant across the street. There was also a top-rated Japanese bakery across from the hotel, so I got a modest Japanese-style cake from there and they had it late that night. The next morning, I got them fresh mochi and manju from an amazing 100 year old mochi bakery also across the street. (Did I mention the hotel was on the edge of Japantown?) After a light breakfast, they all went shopping for a few hours in Japantown. </p>
<p>In a nod to more traditional stuff, for her 16th birthday gift, I got her a strand of pearls. To keep them in her style, though, I got a black freshwater set. (I realllly recommend PearlParadise.com!) </p>
<p>The party was a big hit; her friends announced they wanted to have a senior graduation party at the same hotel. I told my daughter they were welcome to, but I wasn’t going to pay for it that time!</p>