Well said, UCB. This was pretty much my life in college (although I did live in my sorority house for a couple of years.) To me, making the most of the college experience as a commuter means reaching out for new experiences as much as possible within the confines of your hometown, and finding your “family.” For me, it was Greek life. For a co-worker who commuted to college, it was a faith-based group. For others, it may be intermural sports or student publications. Commuters have to try harder to experience traditional college life, but it’s well worth the effort. </p>
<p>" if it happens would you turn it down because it’s “not the right time” according to your standards?"</p>
<p>Well, I am way past college as are my two older kids. So it’s not up to ME to turn anything down. And honestly, why should anyone have to marry someone of the same as and of like-minds (although at any school you will find many UNlike-minded people)?</p>
<p>I have two kids 24 and 29, and four nieces between 25-30. Not one of them met their love in college or HS or post-HS education. Four aren’t even seriously dating, and the two that are did not meet their partner in any school. Nor are they the same age, nor are they all that similar. They ARE, however well-suited for each other and quite happy together, which makes more sense to me that being of the same age or like-minded. Gosh, I’m 4 years older than my H and while we have many things in common, we are not like-minded.</p>
<p>I can think of many, many things a person should get out of college but finding a spouse isn’t even on my list. </p>
<p>Meet lots of new people from lots of different walks of life, even if it means pushing out of your comfort zone. Try lots of different sorts of experiences and learn what makes you happy. Stretch yourself intellectually in and out of the classroom. A college campus is a place that nurtures learning, both formal and informal. Figure out who you want to be; leave all of the world’s assumptions about you at the door, and find out what will make you tick. Form personal relationships, with other students, with faculty, with mentors. These are the ties you can take with you all of your life. Figure out your OWN style, inside and out. Know that you may not remember any particular thing you learn, and that it may all change, but you’ve learned HOW to gather and sort relevant information, and have a deep foundation on which to build. Figure out when to sleep and when not to!</p>
<p>I agree with the ‘educated man’ line, that it isn’t all in the class room. Other than that, I hope for safety, grades, employability and maturity, but I know it is their life and the quasi padded corners of the college experience are the most certainty I am going to have. </p>
<p>I sympathize with the kid who didn’t go see the Dalai Lama debate Merkel. I’d want to see the D Lama speak about humanity or being the D Lamai and I’d want to hear Merkel discuss her view of Germany’s role on the world stage, but a philosophy debate on an issue where my point of view is as valid as theirs simply would seem a waste of time and talent to me. Including my own time. Not everyone is going to be interested in something the schedulers are interested in, and while I would assume they would want to avail themselves of SOME events, I wouldn’t judge which ones should appeal to them.</p>
<p>I think you should make life-long friends in college. </p>
<p>I think you should be an active participant at your school - by joining and attending stuff that interests in (maybe you don’t want to see the Dalai Lama but rather the latest hip hop musician or a presentation by an etch a sketch artist or watch the schools rowing team compete or see a famous chef cook). </p>
<p>There are a lot of idealists posting in this thread. I tend to be more practical. I like the “high gpa” item. Just about everything else good about college follows from that. No, I have absolutely no friends that I have stayed in contact with from college or hs. I’m fine with that.</p>
<p>I think tuition dollars should be spent to create excellent instruction, especially the few hours per week you spend in class. The cost of college could be reduced by eliminating the frills…there is always summer camp for that. Go sailing. Toast marshmallows. Have some fun by the lake. Certain sports are way too expensive, for example. Now players want to unionize. Give me a break. Get rid of Division I altogether. Expand intramural sports, exercise centers, jogging paths, etc. Parents are paying for a lot of cotton candy, IMO.</p>
<p>“High enough GPA” is probably more important – in many cases, there are cut-off GPAs (e.g. 2.0 to stay in good academic standing, 3.0 to get many employers to look at your resume as a new graduate, 3.6 for medical school admissions, etc.).</p>
<p>Chasing that A- instead of B+ is much more significant if you are near an important threshold than if you are far from an important threshold.</p>
<p>You’re missing the point. The Dalai Lama debating Angela Merkel on a random topic was a purely hypothetical example of a unique event. I’d be cheesed off if my kid didn’t attend any of those kind of events. Especially if they then spent the time watching something on Netflix. No one has to go to every lecture, but to not take advantage of most of these opportunities is a waste. D1 has heard Bill Clinton and Karl Rove, among many other speakers. Those folks aren’t showing up for free. It’s our parental tuition dollars that are helping to pay for those talks. </p>
<p>I picked Dalai Lama and Merkel at random- this is not a real event. Sheesh.</p>
<p>But every day on virtually every large college campus (and many small ones) something fantastic is happening. It could be Tony Blair discussing Margaret Thatcher’s legacy or a scientist from the CDC discussing how avian flu is transmitted or an expert in public transportation debating the city of the future with the head of engineering at Ford. Walk down the hallway of the student union or student activities center and you can’t see the walls with all the posters for free speakers, concerts, poetry readings, art shows, debates, and symposia. Log onto the college website and the “what’s happening” section is often dense with 20 or 30 activities per day- more if there’s a law school or school of public policy where undergrads can attend events (which is true in most places.) I have friends who audit a class at a local university and they are astonished by the disengagement of many of the undergrads- they just don’t participate in the intellectual life of campus unless it’s a course requirement or “on the test”. They have their friends and their social life; they go to class and do the work. </p>
<p>It’s nice to get good grades, but a kid who goes through four years of slogging away without sampling some of the truly unique things that happen on a college campus might as well be getting an online degree from U of Phoenix.</p>
<p>Slithey- how I wish Karl Rove would debate Bill Clinton!!! That college could have standing room only!!!</p>
<p>But of course, college also isn’t the only place that those opportunities occur.
For example D met both Clinton & McCain before college at an event connected with her community service.
It took both my kids till junior year in high school before they really took advantage of big opportunities.
My daughter who attended a liberal arts college, was fairly involved from freshmen year, but as her college was smaller than her sisters high school, it was fairly easy to do so.
Her sister attended a medium sized university, & while it took her a little longer to find her place, the opportunities she found seem a bit deeper & richer than at a smaller school.</p>
<p>blossom, fwiw, even if students wanted to get into those talks, not everyone can. Obama was on my campus a few weeks ago and to get tickets, you had to camp out. This was when it was still about 20 degrees. Love Obama and would love to hear him speak, but not for a night of sleeping in 20 degree weather. </p>
<p>Obama, spoke at my youngests high school, when she was a senior.
I also heard him speak during a small fundraiser during his first Presidential campaign, but didn’t stand in line long for either, certainly not in cold weather.</p>
<p>I hope that many people think that the time they are living right now is “the best time of their life”. I know I do. How awful to think that your best years are behind you, or might never be realized.</p>
<p>"…might as well be getting an online degree from U of Phoenix."</p>
<p>But it wouldn’t be from a “tippy top” school then! Seriously though, i get your point. I absolutely agree that college should be much more than slogging your way to the highest possible GPA. Some kids will try a sport for the first time, or find a new hobby or make friends from someplace they’ve never heard of, or learn self-defense, or learn how to cook, or join a skateboarding club. Others will learn to appreciate a new form of dance, or music, or language, or hear an expert on one of these perform and speak. They might meet famous politicians, scientists, artists, explorers, and more. THAT is what I hope any college student has at hand and gets to sample, not the highest possible GPA and a future spouse.</p>
<p>Although it is true that in an environment surrounded by hundreds if not thousands of people their own age, many young adults may find their partners, for life- or just a little while.</p>
<p>OP mentioned something related to social responsibility. Students should be volunteering somewhere–giving back in some way–from the moment they set foot on the university campus. They did all this community service to pump the resume for college; now do it when no one notices. </p>
<p>laplatium, my D does community service because it’s very important to her, not because it’s part of her “package”. Most of the colleges on her list either require it or have clubs that devote a great deal to community service, and at least one requires 50 hours of service a semester to maintain certain merit scholarship status.I really like that she thinks these are good things.</p>
<p>My think is very different from most posters in this thread. I think most of the value of college by far comes from the daily grind of going to class, paying attention, taking notes, reading, doing homework assignments, doing the labs, taking tests, talking with professors, getting good grades, graduating. This is the ONLY thing that REALLY matters. </p>
<p>I am not at all impressed by celebrity speakers although colleges seem to think that students and parents are impressed by these “edutainment” business people. They have only a miniscule impact on your child’s future compared to the learning that accrues through conscientious scholarship. Hearing an occasional visiting scholar can be beneficial but these speakers are generally unknown to the general public.</p>
<p>I can buy Yo Yo Ma’s cds and read about Obama in the news.</p>
<p>Colleges spend way too much of your tuition payments on window dressing and “flash”. Colleges should spend more money supporting professors and the classroom experience.</p>
<p>Work hard and play hard. Do SOMETHING other than academics - join a club, whether it’s high minded or silly, serious or fun. Make time for friends. My biggest request by far is that I did exactly what college help thinks is important - study study study - and if I had to do it over again, I’d do it differently.</p>
<p>I don’t ask my kids what they’ve learned in class. I ask them if they’re doing anything with friends and if they are having new experiences. </p>
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