<p>I took friends with all three of my kids and enjoyed it. Having a friend along gave them someone to talk with and compare notes with. I have to really think to remember if any of the friends applied to the schools we visited with them and I’m not really sure they did. I think people place too much importance on friends impressions or influence and the companionship aspect outweighs any slight negativity. At least that’s how it was with my kids. I really like just about any road trip and I think that rubbed off on my kids.</p>
<p>I have to join the others who said I preferred no friends. It was a special time with my daughter, and I would have not wanted to share it. DD and I have had our disagreements and power struggles over the years as I know you have as well. This was our thing, and it took us back to being close again. DH and younger sis stayed home, and we had a ball visiting colleges in different spots. DH’s job was to remind us when we got stressed that it would all work out in the end… I think it would have been just fine with a friend, but I would have felt more like a chauffeur. It sounds sappy, but it was absolutely miraculous to see her decision skills change in the year of tours here and there - I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, and neither would she. the key for me was to reiterate constantly that I am the “secretary - the recorder - the researcher” and she is the boss. That role division worked extremely well - it reminded me of my place, kept her talking and making thought lists that I scribbled down, and assisted her in taking responsibility. Can’t be bossy if you are the secretary, and can’t be passive if you are the boss!!</p>
<p>Just wanted to add that we (mancation tour) also visited other schools in other regions of the country as a family. So not all colleges were visited that way.</p>
<p>There are some friends of my kids who would not have been invited, too.</p>
<p>Re: similar interests - S & his 2 friends are scarily similar. Play the same musical instrument, play the same sport, have pretty much the exact ECs. Our HS has a night at the beginning of the year where parents visit each classroom in an abbreviated schedule. S & one friend had 7 of their 8 classes together. Different foreign languages was the only class not in common.</p>
<p>I took a friend of my younger daughter along on a college tour trip. She was interested in one of the two schools we were visiting. Her mom had just died and dad worked fulltime. She came along on the tour, and the interviewer had her come in during my kid’s interview “to see what an interview is like”. During the interview it came up that my kid was involved in her high school gay/straight alliance and the interviewer mentioned that the (Catholic) college had a closeted gsa that they were keeping secret from the bishop.</p>
<p>As it ended up, neither girl went to the school they were both interested in, and my kid ended up at the above school. After the first semester started, the admissions counselor ran into my kid and asked where her “partner” ended up going.</p>
<p>We took each of our two children separately on several college visits, and only once did we bring a friend. </p>
<p>D and her BF coincidentally ended up touring the same nearby large, urban university the same day (tours were an hour apart on a school holiday) so we met BF and his dad for lunch afterward. Both kids were excited about this college and shared an enthusiastic conversation. The next day, I took D and BF on a day trip to visit a smaller, more rural school about 2 hours away. It was ok. The kids joked around with each other a lot. On the plus side, they were planning on different majors so they were looking at the college with different lenses and they shared their opinions. In the end, neither was particularly impressed with it. I think it was partly because it was so quiet compared to the high energy level of big urban Univ the day before, and partly because they both disliked the dorms. Frankly, I didn’t like the dorms either and the whole place gave me a kind of “off” feeling, so I was just as happy they weren’t too impressed. (I’d had high hopes - it was the right size college, a “match” for D academically, and a nice distance from home. But the actual college didn’t live up to what any of us had expected/hoped for.)</p>
<p>So bringing D and her BF to the college visit together didn’t seem to have a big impact. They each ended up with about 6 colleges on their list, 3 of which overlapped. In the end BF attended the big urban univ we saw the first day, and D went to a smaller college 800 miles away. They broke up part way through 1st semester.</p>
<p>On the down side, we attended some college tours where it was clear there were groups of friends together (usually girls) and it was also often clear the kids were more interested in hanging out together and having fun than in gathering information. That turned D off of those colleges, because if that was the kind of kids that would be going there, she wasn’t interested.</p>
<p>I would have been happy to bring friends along, but never did. I did take note for a friend who couldn’t visit and did in fact end up attending that college. My son and a couple of friends all went to visit U Penn. A couple of them applied there, my son did not.</p>
<p>Shoot4moon, thank you–you made my day. D and I will be doing 8 days of college visits together this spring and your approach will work great with us. D tends to be passive; and we’ve made clear that his process has to be hers, not ours. Your division of roles will work perfectly: "Can’t be bossy if you are the secretary, and can’t be passive if you are the boss!! "</p>
<p>Hahaha, kkmama! Sounds like a very dear-hearted school, if not entirely clearsighted!</p>
<p>We took my daughter’s boyfriend on two trips, and didn’t on three trips. It was a “carrot and stick” kind of thing. My daughter might have been mopey “wasting” more time on college trips (we did too many last summer). Her boyfriend’s family is also not as college-focused as our is. We wanted him to see the possibilities of what college might offer. I am not worried at all about them going to the same college or having undo influence on each other. The circumstances of the two families is different.</p>
<p>And it was fun!</p>
<p>We visited my oldest d’s college for the first time with family friends who hated it so much that they left early and went to a restaurant for lunch. We stayed, ate at the dorm and made an appointment with the department my d was interested in and she applied, attended and graduated last year. It does make it a bit awkward when we see the other family!</p>
<p>We researched the visit list so intensely it would have annoyed me to bring someone else along for the ride. This was about my son, not his friends. I feel he needed to see the school as he would attend - alone. There’s no way his list would have lined up with his friends. Plus he needs time away, he wouldn’t have wanted to be around someone 24 hrs a day for a week.</p>
<p>We did a combination of both. D1 went along with an older friend and her mother to visit many colleges. Other mother wanted D along both as a bribe and to keep the peace with her daughter who was not happy about doing visits. I took the same girl on a week-long jaunt a few states away where my sister lives. It worked bacause both girls were respectful about each others very different desires in a college. We took a friend of D2s on a few visits as well. However, for the colleges that were at the very top of my DD’s wish lists they both imposed a no visitors rule.</p>
<p>One of my friends took her D and another girl to see a few schools. The other girl really, really liked one of the schools but her own D was very negative about it and put a lot of doubt in the other girl’s mind. I think that this is the problem as kids will be too influenced by their friend’s opinions. </p>
<p>One of D’s friends moms offered to take D to visit schools but we declined both for the above reason and also because it was something that H and I wanted to do.</p>
<p>With both daughters, we frequently brought their friends along on college visits. Not only that, but they tagged along with their friends too. The school my older daughter chose was one that she visited with a friend. I didn’t visit campus until we went to the accepted students day program.</p>
<p>I am a teacher, so we did most of our visits during the summer. I was more than happy to take a few friends along, especially if it helped the parents out. Likewise, some of the other parents brought my daughter on trips during the school year. </p>
<p>All of the girls who we shared tours with all ended up at different schools. They did not seem to try to affect the other girls’ decisions.</p>
<p>My D took her good guy friend to our "Go Buckeye Day " at Ohio State. He had not been sure about college before then because his family didn’t make it a priority, though he is a smart guy. He had such a good time and fell in love with the idea of going to college. My D just sent in her acceptance to Ohio State and he will be attending the University of Akron.</p>
<p>So, it turned out great!</p>
<p>I doubt having a friend along would influence decisions for our younger children, it would have for our oldest, but that could have gone either way–enticing him to a school he wouldn’t have considered before as well as downplaying one he really liked. I am hesitant to go on visits with other parents more than other kids. We are heading off to a visit today with another parent and that might be interesting. It won’t be an issue with our DD but with HER DD. Her DD is very interested in this school from what she has said to my DD. Her mom is a “Harvard or Die” parent.</p>
<p>Our kids each did a mix – one or more visits with us, visits alone, with friends and no parents, with friends and us (or one of us), and with a friend and the friend’s parent(s). I didn’t think any of the friends posed a problem for my kid, or vice versa. Partially that was personality: My older child is very analytic, and not much prone to peer pressure, and her friends with whom she visited were more or less the same way. They tended to come out with similar views of colleges they visited, but they had very nuanced similar views, and they didn’t necessarily make the same decision about applying. My younger child likes everything; his grading system is sort of Colossal, Super Jumbo, Jumbo . . . . (Well, he didn’t like isolated rural LACs, but we knew that going in.)</p>
<p>Towards the end of high school, my son actually took his 11th grade girlfriend to see some local colleges (not any he was considering). That was straightforward influence: She was going to be the first person in her family to go to college (and her family included several older siblings), and really didn’t have anyone at home to give her solid advice; he was comfortable with the college search process and had a pretty good sense of what she liked and didn’t like. It worked – she wound up going to a college he introduced her to (and the relationship was over long before that happened).</p>
<p>Depends on the kids, I think. My D & her best friend went on a couple college visits together. One of them, I think my D might have liked better but best friend was super un-enthused about it, and VERY openly negative—so I think that school didn’t get the shot it might have had D & I been on our own. Even though my D is pretty independent, I know it was an influence that I wish hadn’t been in the mix. I make a point of NOT voicing opinions on college visits, and letting D come to own conclusions. </p>
<p>I didn’t know that friend was so opposed to the idea of this school before we went to visit. It was a state school with a great honors program and a good fit in so many ways… but friend was all about prestige, not at all being realistic that her family and our family did not have unlimited funds. To friend this school was not worthy, and it colored the visit, definitely!</p>
<p>So–I would use caution.</p>
<p>I went on two college visits, my parents came with me to the one nearby, and my friend and I road tripped to another college ourselves. It was definitely a positive experience for me, my parents were not helpful on the local trip (completely out of their element), and my friend thought of things I didn’t to ask the tour guide and was more outgoing than I was at the time. My friend pretty much asked all the questions and let me hang back and absorb unless I thought of something I wanted to ask, which was what I wanted. She had no intention of going to the school but was there to help me. She is pretty good about not dominating other people with her opinions, and she didn’t come with a personal agenda.</p>