<p>NewHaven sounds like she has done a great job with her kids. </p>
<p>I do not know NewHaven beyond this thread and am only “talking” about this particular topic and her dialogue here. No bashing intended! Just defending my personal opinion on the topic and my overall dissent at reading comments on this thread about parental “possession” of their kids/young adults. </p>
<p>Walking away from this one…carry on about tatoos!!! :)</p>
<p>@abasket her childhood friends from grammar school are a little tough to “choose”. When these kids are small and cute, everything is fine…but when they turned into teens, the parenting that they didn’t receive came out, lol so be it. I don’t have to defend my parenting to anyone! My old fashioned ways suit me just fine…</p>
<p>You say I should “choose” their friends but not the decision to get a tattoo? Does that make sense? </p>
<p>And once her friends became “mothers”, there was absolutely no longer any friendship…their lives were completely different. She even received invites to baby showers! Lol she never asked if she could go, she knew what the answer was going to be!! Once the others began drinking and smoking pot, those relationships ended as well. No time for friendships with kids who are on a downward spiral. </p>
<p>I’ve posted this before, but my son wanted to get a XXX tattoo, which apparently means he’s sworn off drinking, drugs, and sex. I told him he might change his mind about this in the future. I hate all tatoos, and confess that it really does influence my first impression of people. My husband would say the same and he hires/doesn’t hire people.</p>
<p>Just for the record - I was NOT advocating you choosing friends. It was a matter of parental control. If you were insisting “no tatoos” why not “no friends that would choose tatoos”. You didn’t indicate that those “friends” were no longer friends. Sincere best of luck to you and your family!</p>
<p>I don’t like them and would be quite unhappy if one of my children got one. However, I don’t spend much time thinking about anyone else’s tattoos. Any person getting one should consider the consequences – permanence, warping with aging skin, possible negative responses from potential employers and potential dates.</p>
<p>One of my friends has a daughter I’ll call “Gina” who has tattoos all over her body, including her face. When I worry about one of my children making a bad grade, eating poorly, etc., I just think “Well, at least he/she doesn’t look like Gina.” Perspective can be a good thing.</p>
<p>I am in my early 60s now and got my first tattoo when I was 48. Nothing is wrinkled or warped- yet, at least. When I’m in my 80s, if my tattoos are a little wrinkled, I’m not sure I’m going to be all that upset about it! I will say that I’m glad I didn’t get one when I was under 30. God knows what I would have done! </p>
<p>What I REALLY don’t like are gauges–large holes in earlobes. Tattoos can be covered up, piercings can be removed, but gauges are gonna be much more difficult to get rid of. </p>
<p>Tattoos are not for me but I don’t care if others have them. I find the choice of tats people get very interesting.<br>
I like the glow in the dark ones but don’t know if they still do this.</p>
<p>I made a huge mistake when I did not support my artist kid becoming a tattoo artist and opening a shop 10 yrs ago. She currently sells designs on line as part of her patched together life of supporting herself as an artist.</p>
<p>Interestingly she does not have any tattoos…I don’t think she does, anyway.</p>
<p>Tattoos are mainstream. What really creeps me out are implants…devils horns, weird spines etc.oh and split tongues and sharpened teeth …ewwwwww</p>
<p>Our household mantra for the kids was no motorcycle, no earrings, no tattoos (for the boys). Of those, we probably were negative on them in the order of motorcycle, tattoo, and earring. So far none of them has one, but who knows what will happen. </p>
<p>As far as others having tattoos, I don’t think its a great thing to do. Maybe if you’re Adam Levine its fine, but for most people its probably a negative for employment, and a mild negative socially, depending on whom you’re with. It just seems to me that there is an asymmetry of “return” to doing it. </p>
<p>Of course, former Secretary of State George Shultz was rumored to have had a Tiger tattoo on his butt, so maybe it just depends on who gets to see the tattoo, and under what circumstances. </p>
<p>I’ve never wanted a tattoo and it doesn’t bother me if others have them. These days you can’t make generalizations about folks with tattoos–it (getting tattooed) cuts across all social strata and age groups. There are certainly people who stereotype those with tattoos. Last summer I attended a social function in the resort area where we’ve got a vacation home. I was chatting with a woman at the event who made a snarky remark about a young woman–in her early 20s with an entire arm of tattoos. I sorta enjoyed telling this woman that the “trashy” young woman could buy her and sell her–the kid’s Dad was the executive chairman of one of the biggest technology companies in the US.</p>
<p>Well, she has the financial freedom not to have to worry about presentation. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not trashy though. Some of the trashiest 20-somethings around are the kids of celebrities.</p>
<p>Neither the woman who made the conversation nor I know anything about this young woman–I knew who she was and that’s it. The other woman didn’t know until I told her. She was making the comment based soley on the fact that the young woman had tattoos.</p>
<p>I am grateful that our kids are needle-phobic and not inclined to let anyone touch their bodies to make any permanent marking on them, so the subject has NOT come up much in our household. Neither H nor I find the idea of tattoos appealing, nor has anyone in our extended family had any. I know it’s important not to judge, but I personally find them a bit off-putting, but gauges (in earlobes) even more so. Have never seen the appeal and am saddened about this trend of increasing amounts of ink on skin. I know they can use their bodies as a canvas if they choose to and can afford it, but I personally do not find it appealing at all.</p>
<p>If you want to make some artistic statement with your body, make it with your clothes or your hair and not your skin. You wouldn’t dream of dooming yourself to wear for the rest of your life the same shirt or same hairstyle that you thought was cool when you were 18. So why would you do that with some design drawn on your skin? </p>
<p>In our state, 16 year olds can get tattoos and the amount of dumb tattoos I have seen in my school is crazy to me, one guy got his last name on his back… was he afraid he was going to forget how to spell it?? since then he’s gotten 2 more (pointless and huge ones) and he’s 17. it astonishes me at how parents let their kids get something that crazy tattooed on their bodies forever</p>
<p>“Permanent bell bottoms”</p>
<p>I think there is a sliding scale with respect to how many people will think your tattoo is “trashy.” There are a certain number of people (a large number, I think, but mostly older people) who will think that any tattoo is trashy. From there, the number of people who will think a particular tattoo is trashy will depend on where it is, how big it is, and what it depicts. Having a tattoo on your neck, for example, will elevate the trashiness quotient. So, are you willing to tolerate some subset of society judging you negatively on your tattoo? Some people may not care what anybody else thinks, and that’s their business. Just don’t fool yourself about what people actually do think.</p>
<p>Don’t like them and would be disappointed if one of my children got one. I would not stand in their way, but I would voice my opinion. Tattoos are mainstream now, but when I grew up they were in fact a “class marker” as another poster put it. I have not been able to transcend that thinking, although I see many middle to upper middle class people with them now. </p>
<p>I just get the impression that people with tattoos feel the need to broadcast to everyone within sight whatever it is that they are wearing on their skin. Their interests, religion, significant other, beliefs, associations……. This type of personality bothers me in general. Let people get to know you, there is no need to advertise. People with “sleeves” or full body tattoos I just think are looking for a little more attention, or are trying to identify as “anti-establishment.” The whole “body art” thing just doesn’t work for me.</p>
<p>coureur- I’ve worn the same engagement ring for 30 years now and I’m not tired of it! (I have swapped out wedding bands a few times for variety) Many people wear a treasured piece of jewelry for much of their lives. I don’t see why a tattoo (again, I got mine in my later 40s) would be that big of a problem.</p>