But she didn’t stab him in the eye and this wasn’t manslaughter.
He went to the nurse for a band-aid.
Don’t sexually assault people. Especially girls holding scissors.
I would have done the same thing.
I’ve had this happen to me, in public, by a strange man in a crowded area. It was indeed sexual assault, even though I wasn’t physically hurt.
It’s interesting that many people seem very worried about what might have happened if the girl’s actions went to the next level; people appear very concerned that the boy might have been injured if she stabbed him somewhere serious. But nobody has speculated that her response - fighting him off resulting in a small cut that didn’t require stitches - prevented his actions from escalating. Nobody is worried that the dress being flipped up was the precursor to grabbing her or something more serious?
The boy initiated this and she responded in a proportionate way (small cut is not unreasonable in self-defense) while defending herself. Why are we only speculating on how serious her actions could have been and not speculating on how serious his actions could have been?
It doesn’t have to be rape to be sexual assault.
That anyone seriously thinks that a boy over the age of about 5 lifting the dress/skirt of a girl is harmless, playing around, or joking and not a big deal just blows my mind. That it was high schoolers emphasizes the seriousness. This, folks, is rape culture.
Good points @milee30
I too had not thought that the skirt lifting could have been a prelude to a violent attack. You may be right. I just figured it was a school kid prank and it was the sum total of the event. It could very possibly been much more sinister.
“If there were people around, what really was her chance of being assaulted? And by that I mean, hurt physically.”
If you really think women cannot be assaulted physically in public places with lots of people around, I hope you as a woman never have to ride a train or bus in in India or Japan. Groping is aggressive and common. Having a stranger stick a hand between your legs or having a stranger’s fingers forcibly inserted into you is assault and happens every day to women. And although it’s more common in certain countries, it happens everywhere.
Part of why men are emboldened to grope women in public places is because they rely on women being embarrassed and not reacting. Have you not seen the recent video of the reporter covering the soccer fans after a win where the fan pushes right up against her from behind WHILE SHE IS ON AIR and gropes her repeatedly until she turns around and hits him?
That’s why I asked if she was alone or in a group. If there were people around flipping up a dress is not going to lead to worse unless the other people are helping the assaulter. If I’d slashed boys who snapped my bra when I was in school, even if it were only a cut, I’d have been escalating the situation. If I’d slashed with a scissors an Italian who pinched my bottom I’d might be in an Italian jail.
The response must be proportionate to the action. Much like police shootings. They have to gauge if they are in danger before they just shoot to kill.
“I just figured it was a school kid prank”
But isn’t a horrifying thing that our culture considers this in the same category as prank?
Attempting to undress a person against her will is not a “prank.” Readjust your thinking. Even if all the offender did was lift up her skirt, that is not a funny ha ha boys will be boys prank. Boys don’t get to treat girls as things.
comments accepted.
@mom2twogirls Exactly. This was not preschool or even elementary school. Trivializing sexual assault is rape culture.
I find it telling that women frequently get criticized for not fighting back and now for fighting back a little too much. It’s almost like there is no right answer.
Usually when 2 kids are fighting in school they both get punished, no matter who started it. I’m ok with both kids getting punished for this, although detention seems more appropriate than juvenile code charges. But she sent a pretty clear message that she is not to be messed with, in a way that would not have been sent if she had complained to the teacher and principal every time it happened.
And who are these guys people know who can so easily be kicked in the groin? I haven’t needed to defend myself, but have heard that that’s a pretty hard target to hit because it is so vigorously protected. Stomping on the instep works better, I’ve heard, but can’t say for sure.
To clarify my point, if he kept her skirt up or tried to go further and she couldn’t make him let go by other means, she would be justified in grabbing scissors. If he just briefly pulled it up and then she went after him with scissors, I don’t think that would be appropriate. We don’t have enough information.
So, a 2-second flash of a crotch is OK, Or 3? 4? I just want to make sure I know the rules if it happens to me again. At what point I can start to defend myself?
Thanks.
Only playing? Yeah. Right. This is how rape culture starts. He’s old enough to know that his action was wrong.
D2 had her dress pulled up in the hallway in 8th grade. She was embarrassed, but I told her to report it to the counselor. Unfortunately it was not someone she knew. I gave her permission to slug anyone who ever did it again, and I would stand behind her. After that, she wore a pair of shorts under any dress.
Good for this young lady. And, honestly, it appears he was barely “hurt”.
Am I the only one wondering where the teacher was in all of this? Kids will sometimes due stupid or mean things, but it’s my job to stop it when I see it happening. Did the teacher even try to intervene?
At our school both kids involved in anything get disciplined. It’s not always fair, esp when one is merely doing self defense, but the goal is to not have escalation - and the punishments are not the same if one started and another merely responded.
I’m furious on behalf on the girl who had her dress/skirt pulled up. I’m feeling Mama Bear protective.
Anyone who has been a target or who has seen a classmate become a target knows these things can escalate when there is another opportunity for the offenders (when there is no one around to intervene).
Was this a one time event? We don’t know. I hope we can all agree that bullying and sexually aggressive bullying is widespread — with boys and girls being victims.
The reality is, there is very little information given in this article, and it could be anything from a guy playfully flipping up the skirt of a girl that he liked, to a rape attempt in an empty classroom. The scissors response could have been blunt scissors causing barely a scrape, to sharp scissors attempting to cause serious injury. We just don’t know.
Besides the rape culture that exists, there is a culture of violence in Memphis. Challenge someone in traffic, you might get shot. “Dissing” the wrong person might get you killed. There always seems to be some young man or women floating in the river or killed in a drive by shooting, so many of them people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time or murdered for some minor infraction.
Unless in fear of life or limb, these things should be resolved without resorting to injuring someone. I can’t even imagine encouraging it, unless she was seriously threatened. But we don’t know the details.
I think the entire situation is mostly likely blown out of proportion, but I think that if he’s going to be charged with sexual assault then she also assaulted him. There is not enough information in the article to form a strong opinion or a strong conclusion…but for heaven’s sake I hope our young men and women figure out how to co-exist without having to have courts figure everything out. I agree with busdriver also, I highly doubt that the situation required stabbing someone unless she feared for her life.