You are an extremely strong applicant - congrats on all your hard work and accomplishments.
I agree with collegemom, the first 2 things you need to do are:
1)decide definitively if you are going to apply for engineering or not - this will significantly affect your college application list.
2)quantify any and all budget constraints including if you have none and you can pick any full pay private you are accepted to ($60,000.00+ tuition and about $20,000.00 for room/board per year so that’s roughly $320,000.00). It sounds like you have a general idea that it is not realistic to go out of state unless it beats your in state options. My parents gave me a similar guideline: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, or a BSMD … if not, then nothing out of state was acceptable from their point of view. I remember I really liked Stanford, but that was not an acceptable option for my parents at the time.
Once you have these 2 pieces of the puzzle in place, informed people on here will be able to help you formulate a great list.
I do think if you just apply arts and sciences instead of engineering, the world is your oyster and you are competitive almost anywhere. If you apply for engineering, the universities become much more competitive and that would place certain high end engineering schools into the far reach category for almost any applicant.
So …. figure out if you want to apply for engineering.
Then … try to pin down your budget a little more specifically, and come up with a list of colleges that “beat” your in state Virginia options. Until you figure out the engineering question, you will have to do this for both scenarios, engineering and arts/sciences/business. You may already understand this: some universities offer a business major and you have to apply directly to the business school while in high school. Some other universities offer a business major but you can’t apply to it or know if you will be accepted to it until you are already on campus as a general studies or arts/sciences student at their university. Still other universities do not offer any specific business major and the closest thing they offer is economics - this is common at many LACs liberal arts colleges.
Trying to formulate a usable list is a fool’s errand in your particular case … until you lock down the engineering and/or the business major question.
Good luck!