<p>My parents spent a few days with us over Christmas. Thursday night we had ribs…not a good choice with my dad in the house. His table manners are not good with regular food, and ribs just tax them to the limit. He was snorting as he ate (with his hands of course) and had BBQ sauce smeared all over his face as he told us about how my mother indulges on shrimp cocktail when they go on cruises. “It’s embarrassing…she makes a pig of herself”.</p>
<p>No one said a word…a proud duct tape moment for my family! (DH, the D’s and I did share a laugh later).</p>
<p>It took super-duper steel belted reinforced duct tape to keep the male members of my family from exploding with laughter when 79 yr. old MIL got up from our Christmas dinner to get more beans and let out the biggest Christmas fart (can I say that on CC?) in the history of the world. She’s only 4’11’. There was an actual chance of her levitating off the floor. We all just looked at our plates and not each other.
My guys (including DH) were practically rolling in the floor reliving it after she left to go home.</p>
<p>PackMom- Maybe next Christmas you should find a substitute for the bean on the menu!! </p>
<p>My family would not have been able to hold the laughter in, whether we looked at each other or not. </p>
<p>When my grandmother was in her late 70’s and I scolded her for something she said to a waitress, she informed me when you get to be her age, you can say anything you want!! I guess that includes body sounds :-0</p>
<p>Family member complaining about not getting a COL raise from social security this year while lighting up a cigarette… </p>
<p>I bit my tongue from saying if you stopped smoking you could give yourself your own COL living raise… That’d probably put another 100 bucks or so in your pocket each month.</p>
<p>It would be an understatement to say that MIL/FIL don’t seem to be particularly supportive of DS’ plan to pursue a vocation, so I found it strange at their dinner party when Nephew (hs junior) said a very nice dinner prayer and FIL started ranting about how HE should become a priest, blah, blah, blah. Way to be supportive there, Daddy-o. Grrr.</p>
<p>My uncle, age 90, also did the arise and fart. He always does…and both my daughters run to the living room, hysterical. My son, usually seated next to the Uncle (see Marjorie Morningstar for reference), stares straight ahead and turns purple. He is trying not to breathe.</p>
<p>The other side was somewhere else and so things were good. My MIL did enough stuff during her sojourn to last us for a year (and she is going to be 90).</p>
<p>So earlier I posted: “We had a quiet Thanksgiving. I know exactly when to have extra duct tape on hand, and we had no need of it this year.”</p>
<p>and </p>
<p>Novelisto responded: “Ignatius – Keep it handy. Christmas is coming…fast.”</p>
<p>Truer words were never spoken. One question only remains to be answered: Will extra duct tape be enough? Off to slap a few more strips over my mouth - but truthfully wouldn’t place any bets on whether or not it holds.</p>