That crazy?

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:07pm

Could you please name a single LAW in the US that discriminates against racial minorities? Please, educate me.

LionsMum · November 24, 2015, 10:07pm

You are really all over the place here. Because people in the US are first worlders, they should shut up if they see a problem? Maybe we should all tell our daughters to ignore things like wage gaps or sexual harassment because there are women in Saudi Arabia who aren’t allowed to drive? Teaching our kids to be grateful for what they have here in the first world doesn’t mean we tell them not to to try to improve things. And, I’m just scratching my head over your civil war comment. Before the civil war people were ENSLAVED. Everyone should have kept quiet about it to avoid the bloodshed of a civil war? I don’t want riots or bloodshed either – what parent does – but I absolutely disagree with your idea that everything was great 20 years ago, and we can blame all our problems on diversity talk. If you want calm in the streets at all costs, that’s pretty much totalitarianism, and I can’t believe that’s what you are advocating. It sounds like you don’t want your kids to face uncomfortable conversations in college – well, that’s up to you to educate them on how to deal with it. That’s reality when we leave our parents’ home – we are faced with new ideas, and new situations, and not all of them are palatable.

Youdon_tsay · November 24, 2015, 10:10pm

I’ll step away from this thread now. Actually, I will lurk because this should get interesting.

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:11pm

There is no ideal place and time in the world, never was, never would be. Children need to learns to embrace what they have, first. Embrace common ideas, common goals. A united country is much stronger than a country, where each group has its own grievances (each racial group can come up with the long list of grievances).

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:14pm

OnMyWay2013
Thank you for your post. I am afraid that BLM may do more harm than good. It divides people even further.

100 years ago USA was mainly white country. Soon it would become “minority majority”. If every minority group would be polarized across the racial lines … God help America.

OnMyWay2013 · November 24, 2015, 10:16pm

@californiaaa I was using it in a context beyond just race, and it can also apply to beyond just the U.S. I think the general sentiment, at least where I am, isn’t the laws. It’s that the justice system is biased against racial minorities, and there isn’t enough regulation or accountability to fix that.

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:18pm

I never said that “everything was great 20 years ago”. However, within the last 5 years things are getting worse, not better. On many levels.

I never blamed all our problems on diversity talk. However, I believe that extensive and compulsory diversity trainings may exaggerate problems, rather then cure them.

blossom · November 24, 2015, 10:31pm

My company also thought that compulsory diversity training made things worse, not better, until we did them.

Guess what? Most women don’t like it when their male boss walks into their office to say, “Will your husband be mad at you if I ask you to work late tonight?” African American professionals don’t like it when they walk into a client meeting and everyone else gets introduced as “Jim Smith, Senior Vice President”, but they are introduced as “This is Jimmy and he works in business development”. Asian-Americans get aggravated when you assume they spend all weekend at the symphony, and they are never invited to join the basketball betting game like everyone else because “Chinese people don’t like basketball” even if they are Vietnamese. And NOBODY likes it when their boss assumes that they don’t want to be promoted, or don’t want a job with more responsibility, or don’t want the visibility and accountability that comes with being in a leadership role.

Employees who are routinely insulted or diminished at work don’t stay at the job for a minute longer than they have to. Talented people walk out the door every day because they aren’t being paid enough to cope with the %^&* behavior.
Nobody wants their boss saying “you people” or “your people” every time a topic comes up which conceivably relates to race or gender or religion.

Attrition costs companies money. Losing talented people because you have a couple of ignoramuses is very bad for the bottom line. Easier and cheaper to train the ignoramuses (or get them to quit) than to lose your best talent.

Imagine being a female Hispanic senior vice president running a meeting- and someone from building services walks into the conference room- decides that the only female in the room must be someone’s secretary- and being pulled out because the A/V connection isn’t working and someone (the female SVP) is the logical person to leave the meeting and find an A/V tech??? Imagine that happening- or a version of that happening- once a week? Wouldn’t you rather work for a company where your being female and Hispanic didn’t automatically mean that you were a secretary and not a Senior Vice President?

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:38pm

I see vocal, affluent, privileged Blacks from Ivy League, who collect their grievances. I see Obama (bi-racial, privileged, affirmative action) president who is using the power of the State to promote his agenda. I even agree with his agenda. The problem is, BLM approach is destructive and polarizing for the country. When people yell at each other, they are not likely to find a compromise.

I feel sympathy to the tragedy of enslaved Blacks (who doesn’t?!). Yes, civil war was absolutely necessary to end slavery. But now? In 2015? Should we risk polarizing the country (and getting Donald Trump as the next president) to ensure that very privileged Black Dartmouth students get extra perks?

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:40pm

@OnMyWay2013
<it’s that="" the="" justice="" system="" is="" biased="" against="" racial="" minorities,="" and="" there="" isn’t="" enough="" regulation="" or="" accountability="" to="" fix="" that.=""></it’s>

I certainly agree!

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:45pm

I am not a vice president, but similar stories are happening to me all the time :)))) I think it is funny I take it positively, as a sign that I am a warm and approachable person (little compliment to myself )

Every time I am at Target or Wal-Mart (I mean, every time), customers ask me for directions. I think I learned the layout of the nearby shops better than their employees.

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 10:50pm

@blossom

You are right. Except … your examples highlight very minor infractions, misunderstandings. “Never suspect ill will is simple incompetence may explain it”. All these issues - are minor imperfections that could be easily fixed.

I would never ever compare these misunderstandings to slavery.

blossom · November 24, 2015, 10:52pm

You can be warm and approachable and still be an authority figure (like a senior vice president who runs a division which employs 10,0000 people and generates over a billion dollars in profit). And having employees of your company- many of whom actually work for you- assume that you have a clerical role just because of the way you “look” is actually not funny. Or maybe it’s funny the first dozen times but then becomes less funny.

I am regularly asked directions in stores by other shoppers but I know it’s partially because I don’t carry a bag with me, and even if it’s cold I leave my coat in the car (since I find stores overheated). So sure- someone walking purposefully down the aisle with no bag or coat- you assume that’s an employee.

And if you were pulled out a meeting that you were RUNNING because someone needed more coffee- unless your job specifically required you to provide beverages- you may not be an SVP but you’d likely find that irritating after the first few dozen times.

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 11:07pm

Blossom, trust me, it is funny

Yesterday I was at a business meeting. My subordinate, company representative, and I. Company representative talked exclusively to my subordinate, not me. Obviously, subordinate felt very uncomfortable. After few minutes, my subordinate started talking exclusively to me, instead of answering the company’s questions. After, probably, 10 minutes, company man, finally, got it. It takes time and patience to train people.

And yes, I was pulled from the meeting that I was RUNNING Once. I stopped the meeting and personally went all the way through the corridor to repair the photocopy machine. And I fixed it. And everyone else at the meeting had to follow me and wait until I fixed the copier. I took time And I enjoyed every moment of it. Come on, it is funny.

californiaaa · November 24, 2015, 11:12pm

My point is - yes, life is not perfect. It could be better. But it is not that bad!

Lately, when I am reading news, it looks like USA is almost at war with itself. So much animosity, anger, demands. It is very easy to polarize people, and politicians (including BLM leadership) are doing it. Yet, it is dangerous. It is easy to agitate people, it is very difficult to calm them down. Just worry about the future …

OHMomof2 · November 24, 2015, 11:15pm

http://www.jstor.org/stable/2649211?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

Criticism of college students then included:

This stuff, and adults’ reaction to it, is nothing new.

LionsMum · November 24, 2015, 11:28pm

Have you ever actually had diversity training? I have, many times, and since the 90s – it has been common in law firms for a long time. I think you’re absolutely wrong that it makes problems worse. Also, BLM has nothing to do with privileged black students at Dartmouth?? Really, you sound very confused? And I went to an Ivy League school, plenty of white kids complained too.

blossom · November 24, 2015, 11:32pm

I’m first generation American and my family still appreciates the tolerance and open-mindedness of the American people. If that means that I need to learn new skills to deal with people who got here more recently than I did- well, small price to pay. If that means I need to learn not to use disparaging language-- even without intending to be hurtful- well, that’s payback for the generous American people who welcomed my refugee family when they probably would have rather “stayed with their own kind”. If that means that occasionally I will be inconvenienced (why the heck does the ATM machine ask me if I want my transaction in Spanish when I don’t speak Spanish?) that’s a small price to pay for being welcomed with (mostly) open arms when our country of origin was putting us onto railroad cars to the gas chamber.

If you don’t want your children to learn that they need to be considerate of other people that’s your prerogative. But this country is hardly going to hell if we ask police officers to refrain from shooting at unarmed civilians. And we’re not heading to wreck and ruin if we teach our kids to respect other people’s opinions.

MomofJandL · November 24, 2015, 11:34pm

californiaaa, it sounds like you may need to do some work on your wardrobe and presentation if you are frequently mistaken for clerical staff. You don’t need to act offended. Perplexed, maybe. Then direct them to the proper person to help them, and act like you are comfortable giving the direction.

blossom · November 24, 2015, 11:34pm

If you think the USA is at war with itself you are clearly watching Fox News or similar. Call anyone you know who lives overseas- let them tell you what’s going on in France, Germany, Norway, Greece, Mexico- sure, those are paradise right now. Your kids freak out watching college kids protest? Try living in a country where parents have to buy kidnapping insurance or hired armed guards to take their kids to school.

That crazy?

CONNECT WITH US