No sour grapes here as my kids were admitted to their reach schools. But my kids had the advantage of a parent who has been studying this game for a while and they entered this competition with their eyes wide open.
My point is that there is plenty of blame to go around. Starting with the college side, how many of you would have guessed that legacy can result in a 5x or better admission advantage? Before the SFFA lawsuit, I knew it helped, but it was only afterwards that the magnitude of the advantage for that hook and others at Harvard became clear. So yes, I do blame colleges for being intentionally vague for how admissions are done.
Likewise, a lot of students do a poor job of putting their lists together, focusing too much on reaches and not enough on safeties and match schools that they would be happy attending. Every year we see someone on CC with outstanding credentials going reach heavy and being shut out, or close to it. It is sad to see.