@juillet congratulations for grinding through. I think it will get better. I never finished two Master’s in my 20s and the flashbacks to how hard it was trying to get through my thesis research with the one lasted a long time and then finally ended. I’m finishing one of them now - they let me reinstate after 18 years at the same place I was at - and thesis research is a joy. I could see myself studying on the side and researching a diss part-time in a low pressure environment in my 50s when my kids are adults. But doing a diss full time while trying to remain a functioning adult sounds like the worst kind of torture. I swore I was done with academia, though, and here I am back.