The Call No Parent Ever Wants to Get ...

Parent Cafe
41

<p>I can only imagine the flood of relief and tears you felt when you got to that truck stop and held your daughter in a gentle hug. When I graduated from college, my roomate and I took a two week driving trip. We found some great people who helped us out in more than one predicament. Generally, it was some nice soul who had a kid themselves who always said, if my kid was in trouble, I hope someone would do the same for them. I’m sure the people who stayed at the truck stop with her will see the favor returned someday. Be sure to let them know how things are going for your daughter and maybe send them a Thanksgiving card. Perfect time to tell them how grateful you are for their kindness. </p>

<p>Gotta love those Apple computers, right? </p>

<p>Can I make a couple of suggestions? Things in your daughter’s head will get muddled over the next couple of days as things settle in for your her. Also, sounds like the girls in the Taurus have parents just like them and will try to get the trucking company and that trucker to shoulder responsibility for this accident so things could be drawn out and get ugly. As soon as she can, before things get too muddled, have your daughter write out a statement in her own words because she will probably hear from many lawyers and may have to testify in court. It is hard to remeber what happened 12 months later in front of a jury. She doesn’t have to give anyone this statement but she can have it handy if she talks to any other lawyers. And, if a lawyer calls, get a phone number and let her call back on her own terms and in her own time when she is comfortable. She doesn’t have to talk with them right now. Have her try to remember anything she can about the Taurus before the accident too, did the Taurus pass her prior to the accident, did she notice who was driving before the accident or who was in the driver’s seat when she yelled at them to get out, did she notice any unsafe driving of the Taurus before the accident, did she have the radio on, had she noticed the truck prior to the accident and if so, was there any unsafe driving, what color was the Taurus, etc. Have her try to estimate how far in front of her the truck was, using car lengths, - 3 car lengths, 4 car lengths, etc. Anthing she can think of in the 20-30 minutes before the accident about what was going on around her. These are all things that may be asked later if the Taurus insurance company tries to pin this on the truck driver and it will be hard to remember then. Besides, this is a good exercise to try to purge some of the feelings that may plague your daughter for a few weeks. </p>

<p>Encourage your daughter to see a counselor at school for at least 2-3 times and also to see a doctor. Injuries sometimes don’t show up for awhile and it is easier to deal with insurance for medical and trauma if you have had a medical professional see you soon after the accident rather than later. Not only that, with an accident of this severity, there may be something she just doesn’t realize is wrong. </p>

<p>Also, have her start listing everything in that car that was lost, from the ipod, the music she paid to download, to the makeup and deodarent. Keep adding to that list as she discovers other things. Again, hard to remeber 4 months from now. And take that girl shopping for some new clothes at Thanksgiving. </p>

<p>Hugs to all of you. Your daughter is lucky. She called you and you cared about her before all else, not whose fault it was, not if the car was okay, not if the computer was okay, but her. Those poor girls in the other car don’t seem to have that kind of relationship with their parents. How very sad for them.</p>

42

<p>ld and mkm, by my rough calculations splashgirl was right outside Memphis or in Memphis.:eek:</p>

43

<p>I doubt it would have helped in this situation, but one thing I gave nearly everyone on my Christmas list last year was an auto fire extinguisher. If you do this, make sure folks know to secure it in the vehicle, so that it doesn’t fly around in a crash.</p>

44

<p>Splashmom,
So happy that the title of this thread has a happy ending. Please have your DD checked out medically if she is really feeling sore, <em>just</em> to be sure. Kudos to your D for keeping her head about her and kudos to all the Good Samaritans who stopped to help. Myabe each parent who reads this story could remember SplashD’s Good Samaritans and “pay it forward.”</p>

45

<p>The accident occured near mm 126 - Camden, Tennessee. A nicer bunch of folks can’t be found than all the folks with whom we made contact there. I wish I knew how to post pictures and I would show you what her car looks like now. It’s not I-40 you need to worry about … it’s the other driver. DD said when her car came to a final stop, she said “thank you, Don Kirby”. He was her driving instructor in high school and she said she immediately thought back to the instructions he had given for what happens during and after an accident.</p>

46

<p>

That’s exactly what I told her. I had her sit down this morning after we returned from getting her flu shot and type out in a word document exactly what she saw. Your other suggestions are excellent, too, in that she should also write down anything she remembers about the Taurus and the truck before the accident. Thank you for all your wonderful suggestions and for your concern. I am so very happy to hear that other parents here who have experienced this have also had such wonderful outcomes … children who can still come home. We are all very fortunate!</p>

47

<p>Those are really good suggestions from keepmesane. I had a pretty bad accident (in a old trunk-in-front VW Beetle) when I was 18, and I do remember my memory being very sketchy after a few days. Mind and body dealing with stress I guess.</p>

<p>And I have to say we took the I-40 route to Chapel Hill and I was pretty impressed with the roads and light traffic; what a contrast to our return trip through Atlanta & Mobile and to Houston by way of I-10. (I-10 stinks…hate it.) I remember thinking I would much prefer my d drive I-40 than I-10 even though it’s a longer drive. BUT, goes to show…even on the safest freeway, there are irresponsible drivers who will put themselves and others at risk.</p>

<p>Btw…interesting how many of us have kids in college along that I-40 corridor.</p>

48

<p>Our son has the opinion that if the plane/bus is going there from here; Why bother driving? He’s very much a green freak, which is also safer than the alternative.</p>

49

<p>I’m so sorry for your daughter’s ordeal but very thankful that there were no major injuries. </p>

<p>My niece and her friends had an interstate accident returning to college (a deer ran in front of her car, she swerved to miss, and her car flipped over and landed on it’s side). Cars flew by her and didn’t stop. Thankfully an older couple who were going the opposite way took the exit next and doubled back. They stayed with the girls, and even drove them to school, which was an hour in the opposite direction of their travel. </p>

<p>Our family will never forget those kind people, and I know you will be forever appreciative of the kindness your daughter received from so many.</p>

50

<p>Just chiming in to say glad it is OK. And for the others who are OK too, like ophiolite.</p>

51

<p>Oh my gosh. My heart was in my mouth just opening this thread. </p>

<p>I am so glad your daughter is all right. Thank heaven for kindly people who looked out for her.</p>

52

<p>SPLASHMOM - good thoughts coming your way - things like this really make us stop and think - don’t they - of what is REALLY important in life - thank goodness your gal is ok - whew!! It certainly sounds like some good people helped your gal - it is amazing the goodness of strangers sometimes.</p>

<p>Good thoughts and {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and your gal. :)</p>

53

<p>Splashmom,
Add me to the list of people sighing in relief for your family. I can only imagine how horrifying that phone call was. A good friend of mine was driving on 1-40 outside of Memphis about three months ago when an SUV crossed the grassy median and hit her car head on. The collision killed her mother-in-law and left her with many broken bones and internal injuries. Luckily her one-year-old D was perfectly fine, thanks to the carseat she’d had installed by the highway patrol months earlier. My friend is still in a wheel-chair and won’t be expecting to walk for another month or two. I’m so thankful that your D did not suffer the same injuries or worse. That highway does sound a bit harrowing, sort of like our I-5 out here in California. Hugs to your D!!</p>

54

<p>I’m real sorry to hear about the accident. Thank God all are okay. Bound to be tramatic for her. I would offer support and maybe lay off the driving for a while. So sorry.</p>

55

<p>I’m rethinking the hermetically sealed children option. This stuff scares me so deep down.</p>

56

<p>My S was in an accident last Thanksgiving on the way home from a Camp reunion. Had just commented to H that it was the first time he had drove himself to dinner with friends afer an event and was driving home (he was 16 and had just gotten his license) when the phone rung. He had rearended two older couples in a rental van. He was ok (thank god for seat belts, air bags and large minivans), The other people were taken to the hospital with what we thought were minor injuries. 122K later (thank god we have good insurance), that was behind him. Definitely his fault. I was just glad no one was seriously injured. He is paying the surcharge portion of his insurance himself until done (six years in MA).</p>

<p>Older S is in Pitt on co-op. Was in a minor accidnent Weds. morning on the way to work. We didn’t know until our insurance company called H. Guess most of the damage was to his car, which still works, except for the fact that he can’t open the hood. Other people put in a claim. It was his fault. Back to the clueless son thread. Figured he didn’t need to claim it. Again, cars can always be fixed, the important thing is that everyone is ok.</p>

57

<p>massmom:</p>

<p>Tell your son to beware of the deer this time of year in Pittsburgh! My accident with the deer occurred this time of the year (before hunting season) within city limits on my way to an internship on the north side of town. The deer population increases just enough you can see deer all throughout the city and many times the population doesn’t dwindle enough from year to year as nearly all parks only allow bow hunting.</p>

58

<p>ophiolite - Thanks for the advice. Seems like wildlife is getting more and more used to humans. Hitting a deer can do some serious damage. Will let him know. He is off for a week and a half at Christmas. Am considering flying out and helping him drive the car back. Friends think I am overprotective. He really does not like to drive, and a ten to twelve hour drive is a little much. I would have to be backup however. Both kids make me nervous when they drive. My mother was the same way with me when I was forty, however.</p>

59

<p>Oh, Splashmom – I’m so glad that she and the others are okay. Alright, let’s just all decide right now not to let our kids drive until they’re 30. They can take public transportation until then. :wink: Mucho slugghuggs, SM.</p>

60

<p>Cyber-hugs to you, Splashmom, and to all our children. I love public transportation, so much easier to be at peace knowing they are not on the highways. Perhaps the gasoline prices will spur more trains, etc. So glad she is okay. Indulge with the replacement wardrobe, it will be therapeutic!</p>