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</p>
<p>I find it completely bizzarre, like those kids are heavily medicated. Opiate for the masses?</p>
<p>“Even the most amazing kids can have an attitude about cleaning the toilet, tell mom, I HATE YOU…”</p>
<p>Never once, have either of our kids ever told their father or me that they “hate” us. They have occasionally, told us that they disagree with something we’ve said or a punishment we’ve handed down (respectfully), but very rarely have we encountered “attitude”. We let it be known very early on that attitude would not be tolerated. Basically, the cardinal rule in our house is respect, and unconditional love and esteem, all the way around, and it has resulted in a very peaceful household. I don’t buy the conventional wisdom that sibling rivalry, and parent/child strife have to be the norm. I certainly hasn’t been for us.</p>
<p>“I hope you realize that gay couples (sometimes even gay individuals) cannot adopt children in many states in America.”</p>
<p>Wow! I didn’t know that. </p>
<p>The reason why I mentioned gay adoption, is because there are plenty of people who disapprove of gays raising children, believing that it is inherently “unnatural”, just as some believe the Dugger’s family structure and dynamic are unnatural. I’m saying that in either case, if it works for them, our opinions don’t amount to a hill of beans.</p>
<p>Never once, have either of our kids ever told their father or me that they “hate” us.</p>
<p>That might just be the odds.
Have two kids- and you may have two very mellow polite personalities- but multiply that 2 x 8 and you may get 5 kids who are gritchy</p>
<p>Gay “rights” are not federally protected- although you can’t discriminate in housing or employment for race /religous or gender, sexual orientation is not protected.</p>
<p>But back to the Duggers –</p>
<p>The dad seems relatively OK – hardworking, logical, smart – but the mom seems heavily medicated to me. Pollyanna. Everything she says, she says with a smile. And I don’t see her interacting at all with her children in terms of having fun, being playful. The father, Yes, but not the mom. </p>
<p>They just give me the creeps. They’ve created their own little universe, have let us all watch so they can get the money for it, but I get the sense that they tolerate us but don’t respect us. </p>
<p>Just a vibe, or an assumption. Nothing grounded in fact, I’ll grant you.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Ditto, Ditto (needed 10 characters 
)</p>
<p>“I’m assuming one girl does everybody’s laundry”</p>
<p>I specifically saw a show in which boys discussed having the laundry as their chore, so don’t assume.</p>
<p>“It is our business, because THEY have chosen to make it so!!! They haven’t kept it private”</p>
<p>Change the channel. Simple. So choice is only acceptable to you if the choice is abortion?</p>
<p>Also much Ditto on poetsheart’s comments. Both my kids have grown up well adjusted without ever saying they “hated” us, each other, or anyone else. I am probably a more strict parent than most; retired military; but both kids are happy. </p>
<p>As far as the Duggers go; some people see a 1 hour tv show and supposedly know all about this family. That the mother is sedated and isn’t actually raising the kids. That the kids don’t have any social skills. That they are all brainwashed and doesn’t have any idea of the “Real World”. The truth is; you don’t know. You just automatically assume that because their family structure isn’t the way you would do it, then it MUST be wrong. After all, some of you probably think you are the best parent in the world. Which actually has some legitimacy behind the sarcasm because most people only know first hand their family environment, so they automatically assume that the way their kids act and behave MUST BE THE NORM.</p>
<p>Also, maybe it’s just possible that the kids were brought up with a level of respect and discipline that when they are filming the tv episodes that they are on their best behavior. Our family for all intent and purpose doesn’t air our “Dirty Laundry”. If my kids get grounded for something and their friends ask them to go do something, they just say they can’t go. They don’t tell their friends, grandparents, family, etc… that they have been punished. Just because the kids aren’t acting and being raised the same as yours doesn’t mean they are wrong or maladjusted. Definitely too much assuming being done here.</p>
<p>Also, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the footage is edited so that only the good behavior is shown. The Duggars have been ‘branded’ in a certain way, just as Jon & Kate have, and the producers are going to skew the show so that it corresponds to what people, by now, expect to see. Reality shows never show all the reality.</p>
<p>After reading this thread, I went to the family’s web site to see what they wanted us to know. Interesting.</p>
<p>[The</a> Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar Family](<a href=“http://www.duggarfamily.com/]The”>http://www.duggarfamily.com/)</p>
<p>None of my 4 has ever told me, or my H, that she hates us but I don’t think that that is the important issue here. As was mentioned already, my concern would be the amount of time necessary to be a good parent and to interact with each child. That would be pretty near impossible with 17 kids. Others have mentioned little interaction between mother and her children which I find unusual. Giving birth should be only the beginning of a mother’s role in her children’s lives. Homeschooling such a large group of varied ages would also give me pause as to the probability of a good job being done for all. </p>
<p>Having said all that, none of us knows how truly happy those kids are but it’s possible that they’re fine, and that they will grow up to be successful, productive adults. I certainly hope so! Parenting is a difficult job and none of us has any guarantees of success with our kids. I would never recommend having this many kids, I think it’s a mistake, but there are lots of parenting issues I see with parents who have far fewer kids that should also be addressed. I hope the Dugger kids grow into happy, healthy adults but if my knowledge of large families is any indication, none of them will have large families!</p>
<p>My reaction is similar to AlwaysAMom’s post #32. I admit to not having watched this show but I have read about this family before. I don’t doubt that the kids may be happy and grow up just fine. And it is not my business the choices they make in child rearing even if I would never make the same choices. </p>
<p>But the one thing I will say is that when someone has 19 children, it is not possible to give each individual child the level of individualized attention from a parent(s) that I feel every child deserves. There is just no way. I know what it takes to be very involved in each of my own two kids’ lives. I likely could spread that wealth and give adequate individualized attention to a few more kids at most. But much more than that, my level of individualized attention would be quite diluted. I have been a teacher of a class of 18 children where I individualized a lot, but never to the amount that a PARENT would need to in every day life. </p>
<p>I’m sure the Dugger kids can grow up into well adjusted adults. I just feel that every child deserves a great deal of individual attention and nurturing directly from a parent or if possible, two parents. So, in that regard, I think the Dugger kids are missing out.</p>
<p>Im sorry but in todays world no one should have that many kids. I just have so many issues with this and actually it angers me. The children ACT like they are well adjusted but how do we not know that the older ones dont hold some resentment of doing everything. And they go on national tv for mom to tell the kids they are expecting again. Why? to get free stuff? How do they afford all those front loading washers and all the stuff they have? It cant be on his real estate salary. No way. I dont buy it. I see this as a form of child labor in many ways. Kids shouldnt have to raise there brothers and sister and do all the work while mom The Queen Bee is sitting on her thrown spitting out another baby for her children to raise. I think its just sick. I also think its just not right to have a home and call it a church because you have all these kids and get a tax break. I think the gov should rain on there little happy home and I think the CPS should go in and live there and see what the heck is going on. This is the same religion Andrea Yates was into and we see what happened there. Although she was sick her husband didnt lift a finger to help her and thats what this religion does to people. I have no problem with religion but when you make it a total compond and dont allow your children to see the rest of the world how are they truly going to be on the outside world one day. They wont have a clue how to deal with it.
This is just all wrong. And I know its just my opinion but I am not the only one thinking all of this. I think abuse isnt just hitting and sexual its also to me what they are doing. They are brainwashing those kids in thinking its such a perfect world as long as they live there. Its a shame. No…those kids will not have productive lives. How can they? They truly do not know how to act in the real world. I also think they should have to pay for each one of those kids and stop hiding behind there made up church name and see how really hard it is to afford that many children they feel they had to have all in the name of religion. I have had 4 and its been hard but we did it and didnt ask for help. I think the parents are just wackos.</p>
<p>I’m surprised that she announced her newest pregnancy so early–(She is 41 and I hope everything goes well for her, but the chance of miscarriage increases). l live near this family. I’ve never seen the TV shows about them, but I have seen their kids in public and they seem very nice, polite, well-behaved, attractive, poised. (If only MY kids could “show” so well!) Always well-dressed/groomed. (Their dad is a politician, so what so you expect–they live a public life). And, amazingly,–they seem NORMAL–only better. They seem to be well-off. They are debt free. I believe the man’s family has a real estate business–plus what they make from the TV shows! </p>
<p>I have a big family myself (only 7 kids) and
I don’t agree with making the older kids totally responsible for a sibling from
infancy. OTOH, the Duggars seem much more organized and disciplined than we are. Regarding “individual” attention from parents, I would say that most people who were not raised in large families or don’t have large families don’t understand how large families work. In a large family the kids just don’t EXPECT that kind of individual attention from the parents, so it isn’t seen as something lacking. (So you shouldn’t feel sorry for the kids because they don’t have any/much “alone time” with parents. . .that’s not a big family thing, in my experience. That’s like feeling sorry for kids from small families because they don’t have a lot of sibs to play with, talk to, help them with everything).</p>
<p>The only thing I thought was REALLY weird is that they say they do 200 loads of laundry a month. That is literally 10 TIMES what I do (my family is roughly half the size). I just can’t imagine how–they must wash everything they touch. Apparently they are a lot cleaner than I am, too, but I think that is a waste of water/soap/energy!</p>
<p>After reading through the comments left on here about the Dugger family, I find it really interesting how so many people can pass judgement and make assumptions about a family they don’t know, simply because they saw a small, edited glimpse into their lives. Just because everyone seems to get along well on the 1 hour special you see doesn’t mean everyone gets along 100% of the time or that the family is heavily medicated. None of us really know what goes on when the cameras are off, so why do some of you think that just because they appear to be well behaved that they don’t get upset, argue or misbehave every once in a while? No matter how well you raise your children, no child is perfectly behaved all of the time.</p>
<p>As far as the delegation of household chores I really don’t see what the big deal is. All they are doing is teaching they’re children responsibility. Many households with children have chores for their children to do. The only difference with this family is that there are many more children and therefore more chores. While I don’t think that parents should shove all of the responsibility of raising their childrens on the older children, there definately isn’t a problem with them helping out. That’s what families do, they help each other. My mother was one of 16 children and from what she’s told me of her childhood, everyone helped out, everyone had responsibilities. And while they were all raised to respect their parents and were well behaved for the most part, they each had they’re own moments where they acted out and had to be disciplined. No matter who you are, no one has perfect children.</p>
<p>Anyway, in regards to the number of children they have… well, while I can’t imagine having that many children myself, but if they can handle it, well then more power to them. I admit when I first heard they are expecting their 18th child my initial reaction was “oh my god, when are they going to stop?” But then I reminded myself that it’s their life and if they want to have 18, 20 or 22 children that’s they’re perogative. They aren’t doing anything wrong, and they obviously are able to provide for them so none of us really have a right to say anything. If they couldn’t provide for their existing children but yet continued to have them, then that would be irresponsible. But they’re not so everyone should just shut up and let them be.</p>
<p>One thing I am curious about though…how do the parents afford to take care of all those kids financially??? Providing for 1 or 2 children is expensive, I can’ t imagine doing it for that many kids, not the way our cost of living continues to rise.</p>
<p>[Duggar</a> Baby #19 Born After Emergency C-Section | TMZ.com](<a href=“Duggar Baby #19 Born After Emergency C-Section”>Duggar Baby #19 Born After Emergency C-Section)</p>
<p>Baby #19 was born yesterday (Dec. 10th, 2009) by emergency C-section. The baby wasn’t due until the Spring.</p>
<p>“At 6:27 PM, Michelle and Jim Bob welcomed their new daughter, Josie Brooklyn … who weighed in at 1lb., 6 oz.”</p>
<p>Oh dear. I heard Michelle was air-lifted to Little Rock last week with gall bladder problems.
I was afraid things wouldn’t go well for her. . .such tiny babes have a hard time. Prayers for them.</p>
<p>I am perfectly comfortable making judgements on people who choose to bring children into the world when they are fully aware that there are physical, emotional or & financial reasons that they are not able to give them what tHey deserve.
Parents who are of excellent health both of mind and body do not choose to continue to procreate into their 5th decade after already having 18 Previous pregnancies.</p>
<p>They do not live in some other culture where family planning is unheard of, where parents are blessed to see the most of their children grow to adulthood and where a large families environmental impact will affect no one outside the surrounding village.</p>
<p>They live in this culture, where to get attention you have to be a genius or a freak.</p>
<p>The physical health of their youngest child was put at risk when they decided to continue tHeir marathon of pregnancies.</p>
<p>It is good that she is female however, girls have lower mortality rates, but the weight isn’t as important as the SGA, does anyone know exactly how early she is?</p>
<p>I read that she was in her 25th week, giving the baby 82% odds of surviving. </p>
<p>Having read their book, there are a few things I would like to correct that people have stated as fact. ONE girl does not fix lunch, one fix dinner, one do the laundry, etc. It is very much of a group effort. The kids are organized by the buddy system but now they are up to four-kid groups instead of twos. </p>
<p>The blanket time idea was a way of keeping a small child happy for 30 minutes while Michelle did homeschooling stuff with the other kids. No children were smacked if they got off the blanket. </p>
<p>Home church refers to the body of the church, the PEOPLE of the church. They have NOT declared their home a church. It simply means they hold services there. They and their fellow church goers gather at their home. I do not believe it makes any difference in their tax status. I myself attend a home church and there are no tax incentives for our pastor.</p>
<p>I think it’s unfair and irresponsible to make statements about this family when you really don’t know. Have you seen their tax returns?</p>
<p>They have internet but are careful of what the children see. Ditto for TV. As an educator of small children, I can only say I wish many of my students had more parental controls going on.</p>
<p>These people support themselves and their family. They seem to be happy and healthy (until the latest premature baby). I think we have no business telling anyone how many children they should have or how they should raise them. If it bugs you, don’t watch the show, don’t read the book, don’t read this thread. That’s what I’m doing with people that are not living their lives or treating their children in a way I think is correct…like movie stars. I tune out news of Suri and the latest dirt on Tiger.</p>