Living near children and grandchildren is a consideration, but, at this point, only S2 who lives in DC is likely to stay where he is (that’s why we’re looking at Northern VA). S1 and DIL currently live in CA, but may not be staying there and CA is too expensive for us anyway. They could be moving to Rochester, NY, but if we don’t like CT winters, we sure wouldn’t want to be in Rochester. That’s why living near a good airport is important - we want to be able to get to them easily, and, just as importantly, that they can visit us easily. I remember traveling with small children, so non-stop flights would be preferable.
@Lassie3 when or if I need my kids to care for me…they can do what we did with my parent. We moved her near us. We did the logistics and all the work. Because it had to happen.
The likelihood that either of my kids will remain where they are for the long term…is small. So moving there wouldn’t help me anyway when I’m really older. They will likely have moved on to a different place.
@emilybee Please share where you live, if you are willing.
@SouthJerseyChessMom - Thank you so much for the Village-to-Village Network website link:
http://www.vtvnetwork.org/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=691012&module_id=248579
It’s a wonderful approach to connecting to one’s community. And, can be multi-generational.
@fendrock, I live in an inner ring suburb of Albany NY. The market is so hot in my town people have taken to Next Door asking if anyone is going to be putting their houses on the market anytime soon. A lot have given up and moved somewhere else. I live in the top school district in the area and people want to be here for the schools. Homes are getting mutiple offers way over asking in days of going on market. Even when we bought 27 years ago we could have gotten a house twice the size of ours for less money in other suburbs. I pay close to $10k in taxes on a 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath 1950’s ranch.
We bought our house 27 years ago and it was in pretty bad shape. We choose to renovate the whole house, inside and out) and add a famly room addition, instead of moving up. That’s why my mortgage is so cheap now. $800/month (not including taxes.)
Never enters our minds. We have no control over kid’s mobility. We have no idea where he could end up. If he’s anything like us, he’ll move constantly. Better for us to be financially solvent enough to visit him wherever he is at any given moment… And, he always knows that he has a home wherever we are.
Just read about this interesting place:
https://www.coastalliving.com/homes/babcock-ranch-solar-town-florida
Sadly, “The Villages” sound great but are available in very few locations and broadly re-interpreted. The only “village” that is on the map of all the villages in the article for Hawaii is for folks that are rehabilitating from a hospitalization before they are transferred to home or wherever they will go next (a few floors of a small hospital). It does not sound much like the interesting and innovative village concept where residents can live and make connections.
I briefly looked at the site for the villages. Co housing came to mind. Are people here familiar with that concept? It is multigenerational. I have a few friends in co housing who are very pleased.
The village concept, in Beacon Hill, wasn’t about a group living together. Rather, the village spirit in a relatively small geographical area. Advocate friends were involved with trying to bring it here. It became clear many (here) saw it as a no or low cost alternative to assisted living (not independent,) not an organic give and take. (I’m abbreviating my friends’ comments.) They felt there were other ways to straight volunteer with doc rides, minor repairs, etc. Ymmv.
I’m familiar with co-housing, my folks looked at several in Michigan and Massachusetts.
My dad founded a “Village” in his area with some other people a few years ago. He died last year but the village is still going.
I have a friend near me who lives in co-housing (about 25 mi. from Boston). It’s not just seniors; it’s for families as well. In fact, there are probably more families than couples where she lives. It’s not cheap. I don’t know what my friend paid, but a unit (if you can even get one now) is around $700K. This co-housing group started in the early 90s.
People keep writing off NJ because of taxes, but they vary considerably when you go south. We will retire to a town ust north of Cape May. Houses in the area can vary from million dollar edifices to plenty in the under 250K range. (Where we are, more of the latter.) Our taxes are around 3400. Not nothing but not what people think of when they think NJ. For that we get extensive services. The selling point to me is that there is water on three sides–ocean and bay, plus lots of beautiful backwaters. It’s a kayaking dream, and also a great biking area. Walkscore is 49, but I can easily walk to a supermarket, and many small stores, plus several restaurants. And I can easily bike to the library, the ocean, and the wonderful town of Cape May–which has an extensive arts community, especially theater and music. Plus fabulous restaurants. The area skews red (it’s the rural part of NJ) but I have found plenty of progressive, blue-leaning friends. That does matter to me because we share similar value systems – I can hold onto old friends who interpret things differently, but the level of vitriol these days makes it difficult to bond with someone new who has a radically different world view (this wasn’t always true, but these days often is.)
Back to the topic–just putting out the CM area of NJ as fairly low taxes, lots of moderate priced housing, arty, oodles of nature, and water, water everywhere! 
Oh, also, for us, most likely both kiddos will stay in NJ–though farther north, so being only a couple hours drive away is important to me. One of the reasons I did not want to leave the state.
What do you mean by co-housing? Is that different from having an IL addition on your house? I seem to remember those being popular in the 60s? 70s?
^^^Not an inlaw apartment. This is a link to the co-housing group in my area. You can read an explanation about it. Basically it is a multi-generational neighborhood where people have individual units but there’s a community house where people share meals plus they also share in recreational activities and some maintenance of community property. My friend loves it. She moved there just after it was built and her kids (now young adults) were in high school.
Co-housing refers to residential developments with families of all ages. There are individual homes but some things are shared. There may be a common dining hall and families take turns cooking and cleaning, for instance. Common play areas for kids, maybe care for them as well. By and large co-H residents think typical suburban development is too isolating so they do more as a group than a typical community of homes would.
It’s a little bit commune, but how much depends a lot on the specific co-housing community. @Midwest67
Ann Arbor has some my folks visited when they were looking into starting one:
Well, as a Maine resident, I have to disagree with most of this.
I would point out that Portland and Brunswick both have superb walkability, and are vital communities with lots going on in the arts, music, theater, and even sports to some degree for very low prices. A friend of mine who lives in Brunswick, for example, annually attends over 100 hours of concerts at the Bowdoin International Music festival for free. And he can walk there if he wishes. He’s a hockey fan, and attends all of the college home games. The college has a great small art museum with very good special exhibitions. (There are excellent art museums all over Maine.) Portland has professional hockey and baseball teams, a professional symphony orchestra, a good art museum, a vibrant art, music, and literary scene, good theater, lots of educational opportunities for seniors, plenty of charm, and is a prominent foodie destination.
“Awful” weather is in the eye of the beholder. There’s a reason why tourists flock to Maine in the summer and fall, and even in the winter if they enjoy winter sports.
Portland and Brunswick both have inexpensive direct train and bus service to Boston for day trips or longer, if you are so inclined. Presumably I don’t need to detail the proximity to natural beauties.
I can’t comment on the tax burden and utility costs, because we came here from a place where both were higher.
Yes, I like Maine, too! But please don’t tell anyone else. We don’t want an influx of TOO many people!
OP here again – lots of interesting suggestions and ideas here — thanks!
Co-housing communities are appealing in terms of providing intergenerational living and community support for the individual. Demand looks to exceed supply.
As for the co-housing community in Acton, MA - Acton is a high-end Boston suburb, so the high-end cost to join is not surprising.