<p>I am, by nature a very shy person. When I was in my teens (late teens) I had a friend who’s family was very well connected politically. I was invited to a formal lunch where I was seated next to a man, much older than I. I went into shock. (Obviously he had received this same response before.) I introduced myself to him…and couldn’t think of anything else to say.</p>
<p>The man turned to me and said that I wasn’t shy. But if I was ever at a loss for words or conversation always ask the person about the most fascinating person they know…themselves. :)</p>
<p>My mother once told me “Tell the truth and let the Lord love you”. I can still see her standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes when she said it. I was 18 and in the middle of a romantic predicament at the time. I don’t think I ever heard her say it again but it has stuck with me all these years.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Look out for Number One (and they implied: Don’t worry about collateral damage)</p></li>
<li><p>Stick to your guns (and they implied: It’s better to be wrong than show weakness)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think #1 actually is good advice if you remove the parenthetical implication. I want my kids to do that, and not sell themselves short in a world that denigrates effort, (especially if it results in success). </p>
<p>Set your own course and have confidence in yourself.</p>
<p>There really are a lot of great nuggets of advice for young people, and its hard to choose any single “best” one. For high achieving kids, I think I’d caution them that people have a tendency to underestimate the effort and competition increase as you “move up” in achievement level (example: athletics from hs to college to professional, but it applies to careers and life in general). </p>
<p>I second “Is this the hill you want to die on?”</p>
<p>and add some advice that was given to us by my cousin on our wedding day, “We’ve found that about 90% of marital discord can be traced directly back to low blood sugar.”</p>
<p>@saintfan does that mean one should break out the chocolate when a fight is brewing? I think it is hard to fight when there is chocolate being offered.</p>
<p>I was watching All in the Family in the early 70s; the show was in its first or second year… I was 9. I remember Meathead, Gloria and Edith trying to explain something to Archie about how wrong he was about something they were watching. They kept trying to explain to him how wrong he was, even though they were looking at the exact same thing. </p>
<p>Then Archie told them a simple truth, “The way things look is the way they are.”</p>
<p>The point he was making is appearances and what people see are paramount. People interpret and believe what they see, even if what is happening in reality is the reverse.</p>
<p>I got that - and I still use that today and make sure that every product visually represents what the product does and what we want it to convey in terms of value to the consumer. Unless that is shown and the consumer can look at the product and get that message, then the potential consumer will just make it up and assume, just like Meathead, Gloria and Edith. And assumptions is not a good way to sell or convince anyone of anything and only causes confusion. And in that show, Archie was the only one not confused, while the rest of the family was arguing about what was happening.</p>
<p>I have always told my kids you are not your feelings, you are your choices. You can feel angry, sad, etc but it’s what you choose to do with those feelings that define you. Our feelings change all the time, but our reactions to those feelings can have lifetime consequences. This saying has always helped me to step back in an emotional situation and evaluate my reaction rather than just reacting. </p>
<p>Lately I’ve been remembering a long time friend explaining how she deals with difficult family members: “I get up every morning and start over fresh, giving them a blank slate.” I like that advice.</p>
<ol>
<li>Make your bed. Why? Because your day begins when you make your bed. You should be able to do at least that.</li>
<li>Most of the work of the world is done by people who aren’t feeling well. That was my dad’s favorite saying. He was a doctor.</li>
<li>Pee before you leave. The house, a restaurant, the hotel: pee before you leave. </li>
<li>Say I love you because you may never speak to that person again. This happened to me with my dad. He said he was fine, that they were going to discharge him and then I got a call saying he was dying. Never spoke to him again. It sticks with you.</li>
</ol>
<p>Smile, stand up straight, make eye contact.
Save your money.
Clean up after yourself.
Be patient. Sleep on it.
Forgive. Forget.
Don’t complain about things you can’t/won’t change.</p>
<p>Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Enjoy the view/look around/appreciate nature/find the beauty wherever you are</p>
</p>