The non joy of the hook-up for women

<p>^ I agree. and that was my son's impression too. </p>

<p>I remember letting my d get pierced ears at 5, and an aunt of mine thought it was bodily mutilation. my d wanted earrings from about 3 yrs old, and I made her wait til she could "understand" it would hurt when they did the piercing. of course when we did it at the pediatrician they numbed the ears so well and did both ears at the same time that it was painfree, and she smiled at my misinformation even then. ;-D</p>

<p>
[quote]
Quote:
If they were so comfortable with their own sexuality they would teach these guys how to be better lovers. </p>

<p>Which they do, according to D, in the context of an actual ongoing physical relationship. This is why no casual sex. It's not about morality. (though, to be fair, it could be about that for some girls)

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<p>Seems poetgrl is on to something. It is of note that apparently a female "party of one" is efficient, but not necessarily the most satisfying experience.</p>

<p>From the Kinsey Institute website:</p>

<p>
[quote]
Orgasm </p>

<p>•Women are much more likely to be nearly always or always orgasmic when alone than with a partner. However, among women currently in a partnered relationship, 62% say they are very satisfied with the frequency/consistency of orgasm (Davis, Blank, Hung-Yu, & Bonillas, 1996).</p>

<p>•Many women express that their most satisfying sexual experiences entail being connected to someone, rather than solely basing satisfaction on orgasm (Bridges, Lease, & Ellison, 2004). </p>

<p>•75% of men and 29% of women always have orgasms with their partner (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994). </p>

<p>•About 40% for both men and women said they were extremely pleased physically and extremely emotionally satisfied (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).</p>

<p>•25% of men and 14% of women reported that simultaneous orgasm is a must (Janus & Janus, 1993). </p>

<p>•10% of men and 18% of women reported a preference for oral sex to achieve orgasm (Janus & Janus, 1993).

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<p>Perhaps there is a market for a college prep course for HS guys that is going unserviced.</p>

<p>Perhaps there is a market for a college prep course for HS guys that is going unserviced.</p>

<p>I went on a retreat last fall with some classmates on a service project.
I was amazed when several of them demonstrated their skill at tying a cherry stem with their tongue.</p>

<p>;)</p>

<p>Personal anecdotal evidence tells me that--gasp--some guys don't like the hook-up scene either. Being the feminist mom of a son in that 40 percent cited in the research (post #1) has been interesting.</p>

<p>Edit to my post above: Being a feminist mom of a son, period, has been interesting! I don't want to imply a connection between feminism and hooking up :)</p>

<p>
[quote]
When he's a little older he will learn differently

[/quote]
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<p>This just means you're old. :D</p>

<p>Niether of my D's have any extra piercings other than the ears...many in the ears, though. No tattoos.</p>

<p>But, those things don't really mean anything to this generation, anyway.</p>

<p>My grandmother said it used to be absolutely scandalous for a woman to have pierced ears, back in the day.</p>

<p>Of course, she was born one year before women got the vote. So, go figure. :rolleyes:</p>

<p>I know that this study is specifically talking about sex after a great first date, but it seems like the conversation's turned toward women's views of hooking up in general. As a college senior (big public state university) here's the most recent trend I've noticed (and been a part of):</p>

<p>What I've seen (and actually been pretty interested by, but haven't really thought through) is that college women I know tend to "keep" a small, constantly-revolving, group of guys to have casual sex with. Not at the same time (!) but more like "hmm, who do I want to hook up with next/tonight--the Artist? the Basketball Player? the Older Guy?" and then find a way to make that happen--maybe by hanging out with the Chosen One that night or something. </p>

<p>So while there may not be an official relationship per se, the casual encounter is far from random, and often occurs repeatedly. Perhaps this is a strategy to cope with the impending emotional trauma of cheap, meaningless sex and also gives girls a little better of a sense of who they're sleeping with. At least among the large number of college women I know, numbers of random one night stands (and the resulting feeling of being used) are pretty small, but frequency of sex outside a committed relationship is almost alarmingly high. </p>

<p>Any thoughts?</p>

<p>I am tired of this phony post-hookup syndrome. The “regrets” expressed are obviously a way of dishonestly reclaiming “good” status while shirking personal responsibility for ones actions. It’s a convenient way to express such feelings because they are always unquestionably accepted without the danger of rebuke.</p>

<p>toblin,</p>

<p>Are you assuming that there is a moral component to the question of (to be old-fashioned) "free love"?! Why that's just silly. It implies that those who engage in it are (gasp) middle-class -- and, of course, nobody but nobody is that anymore...</p>