<p>Not a ticket of what to do next, but I think you have a right to tell them you don’t want them back on the doorstep. I also do think that Cheers is right that combining career and kids is tricky. There’s no one right way to do it. My situation was further complicated by wanting to be with my husband - academics need to be able to move, architects are generally better off staying put. I spent three years working in Pasadena and five years working in Germany which accounted for precious little back in NY. (Though it almost got me a job with Richard Meier!) I ended up waiting to have kids in mid to early 30s and spent the next ten years working half time in a related field (more interior design than architecture). I did take two gap years, one before college and one before grad school.</p>