The official "I don't get it" thread

Parent Cafe
81

<p>Sado-masochism. </p>

<p>Why evolution didn’t get rid of pubic hair. I’ve sent p.m.'s of the “Hey there Curly, is your mother home?” commercial to a couple of you. Anybody else who wants a chuckle might want to google it.</p>

<p>rchhay, thanks for the tennis grunting explanation. Now it makes sense.</p>

<p>Why my daughters always forget to moisten the needle when inflating their volleyballs and basketballs. The truest words in the English language are “Moisten the needle before inserting” (let your imagination run wild on that one), and “don’t pick at it.”</p>

<p>My parents used to complain that they couldn’t understand the words in rock music, and I’d tell them they listen to opera, and can’t understand the words there, either.</p>

<p>Why Lena Olin and Daphne Zuniga never made it bigger.</p>

<p>French movies.</p>

<p>Action stars like Stallone and Schwartzenegger doing “comedies.”</p>

82

<p>tattoos
body piercing
beer
hair extensions
tanning </p>

<p>owlice, what are Brazilian or Hollywood waxes?</p>

83

<p>Re: moles, celebrity or other. Most reputable dermatologists wiil recommend against removing if congenital. If this is done and cells remain, there is no longer any way to see if there is ever a significant change in the mole. Or you’d have to get a plastic surgeon or dermatologist to go in far enough to insure margins - which would leave a scar.</p>

84

<p>I’d like to give an “amen” to those who mentioned:</p>

<p>Camping
Rap
Angelina Jolie
Tattoos
Piercings
Hair Extensions
Covering “news” stories that aren’t news. My brain always goes to sleep when it hears the words “more violence in the Middle East today.”
Using ‘ho’ and the n-word
Women dressing like their daughters (unless they’re both dressing really slutty; THEN I get it)
New York City</p>

<hr>

<p>“which would leave a scar”</p>

<p>Isn’t a minor scar a zillion times better than a mole?</p>

<hr>

<p>On the other hand, I GET:
WalMart (it’s amazingly cheap, but sometimes the cashiers are so slow it makes you wonder if it’s worth it)
PT Cruisers
Beer
Why American men refuse to dance</p>

<p>It just occurred to me that Tuti Taxi probably thinks “waxing pubic hair” involves treating it with wax so that it can be styled easier…sort of like a super-strength Brylcream.</p>

85

<p>Schmaltz- that add is too funny.</p>

<p>How do people know what ‘every one else is doing’ with private stuff? Well, paparazzi photos of Britney and others like her with those exiting the car shots?</p>

<p>Ladies at the gym?</p>

<p>Younger women talking?
I would bet Sex & the City made it clear?</p>

86

<p>“Isn’t a minor scar a zillion times better than a mole?”</p>

<p>Well, the thing is, they have to go in pretty deep and wide under these circumstances - chances are it wouldn’t be so minor.</p>

87

<p>Helenback, you’re not alone. Among young starlets, there is plenty of evidence on the internet that Emma Watson and Vanessa Hudgens are anti-waxing. I’m wondering if some smartass will slip a razor into Ms. Watson’s “Welcome to Brown” packet this fall. Not wondering about it a LOT, but still the thought HAS crossed my mind.</p>

<p>Somemom, I can tell your internet usage is pretty much G-rated. If you have a son or a husband, you might want to ask him the questions you posed in Post #85. Unless you have some industrial-strength internet content filters on your computer, they should be able to answer your questions.</p>

88

<p>Obama & the fly were funny- likened it to Mr. Miyogi on Karate kid (youtube)</p>

89

<p>I didn’t know there were so many pro-mole people in the world.</p>

<p>Things I don’t get:</p>

<p>Why my applications to be Hugh Jackman’s body double keep getting rejected.</p>

<p>Why nobody else seems to think Ruth Bader Ginsberg is hot.</p>

<p>Why baseball players now usually wear their pants pulled down all the way to their shoes.</p>

<p>Those women’s shoes with the really pointy toes.</p>

<p>Why a grown man would wear a pro football/baseball/basketball jersey with someone else’s name on on the back.</p>

<p>Head cheese.</p>

<p>Guys at health clubs using the public hair dryers to dry certain parts of their bodies. It’s like they don’t see the “l” in “public.”</p>

90

<p>Well, I do a lot of the things people don’t “get”. I guess it’s good we aren’t all alike. I am an SUV (mid-size) driving marathon runner with tattoos. I’m not going to discuss my pubic hair on this thread, but on occasion my daughter and I have dressed similarly. I like facebook and Twitter. </p>

<p>I don’t get people who get all hyped up about Easter and Christmas but never set foot in a church! </p>

<p>I don’t get the love of black cars. How boring (and hot).</p>

<p>I don’t get martinis. Give me a Shiner or a glass of wine.</p>

91

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<p>It’s because of the silly offsides rule, which is designed to thwart almost all offense. Without that rule soccer scores would look more like baseball scores.</p>

92

<p>Coureur, I agree 100% on the soccer offside rule!</p>

93

<p>I don’t get why the local news has to have a local angle about EVERYTHING. It’s the “Washington Slept Here” news. News is news. It isn’t more newsworthy because so-and-so’s 1/2 brother’s uncle lives in my town and therefore it has a local connection.</p>

<p>I also don’t get teenagers going trick-or-treating on Halloween. Or adults dressing up on Halloween and going to the office in costume. Grow up!</p>

94

<p>Maybe that’s why they call it the “local” news?</p>

<p>Teenagers trick or treating? Free candy!</p>

<p>I didn’t get the adults at work dressing for Halloweeen until I showed up for work one Hallwoeen and found our office’s one openly lesbian employee working away as if nothing was odd…dressed as a nun.</p>

95

<p>Here are my “I don’t get it” Top Ten (in no particular order):</p>

<p>Gamblers: People who take their hard-earned money and throw it away on lottery tickets, sports betting pools, racetracks, and casinos have got to be insane (there’s no other explanation).</p>

<p>Freeway sheep: They’re incapable of traveling from Point A to Point B (regardless of distance) without using the freeway, even if it’s rush hour, even if traffic’s backed up to the state line, even if surface streets would get them to wherever they’re going in a fraction of the time. Baaa-aaa!</p>

<p>Shoplifters: These are the stupidest criminals on earth. They risk doing jail time just to steal something they don’t need. (My old hometown’s shoplifters “specialize” in stealing steak and shrimp, stuffed down their pants as they try to stagger out of the store without getting caught.)</p>

<p>The stock market: I’ve never gotten it, I still don’t get it, and I will never get it. Therefore, I have never played the stock market, and I never will.</p>

<p>Happy Talk local news: The helmet hair. The gleaming teeth. The plastic skin. The garish clothes. The vapid smiles. The perky demeanors. The chirpy voices. The endless “human interest” stories. How has this junk format endured? When was the last time you watched your local Ken and Barbie “do the news” from start to finish? Can’t remember? I thought so.</p>

<p>Soy: It’s everywhere, in everything, and people are overeating it every day. Soy used to be fed to cattle. Now it’s being fed to people. People are fattening up like cattle. (This one I get.)</p>

<p>Fitted sheets: They don’t. Buy the right size for your mattress, remove them from the package, and they don’t fit. Buy a larger size, wash them once, and they don’t fit anymore, either. </p>

<p>Dumb business owners: They’re dumb because they can’t distinguish between their customers and their competitors. They sell inferior products, provide bad service, charge high prices, and rip off their customers in every possible way and at every possible opportunity. Then they wonder why their former customers are now patronizing the competition. Duh!</p>

<p>Water-saver showerheads: Require one to shower twice as long to get clean. No savings there.</p>

<p>Mixed-use public libraries: A city spends multi-millions to replace a Shabby Old Library with a Shiny New Library. However, to make room for the Shiny New Library’s art gallery, concert hall, and conference rooms, at least half of the Shabby Old Library’s books (especially the rare and out-of-print books one can’t find elsewhere) are either warehoused or sold. Why not just get rid of all the books, call the Shiny New Library a “community center,” and be done with it?</p>

96

<p>I do not get people who are obsessed with other people’s waxing :D</p>

97

<p>I would put low flow showers under things I hate worse than must minor hassles. Thankfully it is easy to “fix” most of them to work as a proper shower should short of adding 10 heads like some modern baths do.</p>

98

<p>I don’t get Earth Fairs. There’s one hosted in my community and to get to it you’d have to sit through at least half an hour of traffic before you go to the fair and pretend that you’re helping out the environment. The only one I’ve ever gone to was when I was volunteering for one of the museums, and by the time I left (midday) there was absolutely no parking and you could see hundreds of SUVs. </p>

<p>@ Timecruncher: Soy products are amazing. =P</p>

99

<p>Other things I don’t get:</p>

<p>People who sit in the center lane at a light with no turn signal on, until the light turns green, then they turn on their left turn signal.</p>

<p>People who just have to pass you on the interstate, even if it is unsafe and doesn’t gain them any time.</p>

<p>People who know that a merge is coming up but refuse to merge until the extra lane has disappeared and they are driving on the shoulder. (Oh, I guess their time is just sooooo much more valuable than mine.)</p>

<p>Can you tell I just drove to work?</p>

100

<p>And I don’t get people who merge a mile sooner than they need to. Zipper feed at the point of merge has been proven to be smoother and faster for all. (See old CC thread about it.) The reason people end up on the shoulder is because someone in the other lane doesn’t understand the concept - first one vehicle from the right lane, then one vehicle from the left lane…</p>