There are organizations that help kids who are aging out of foster care and need help setting up an apartment. Maybe you can find one locally and donate it.
I think there’s a lot of regionality to this question. After not going to a wedding for about 10 years we attended 3 in the last 18 months. Our numbers were about double what you put out there. My rule of thumb is I should be giving at least enough to cover our portion of the reception. Inflation has hit everything!
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Definitely regional. We give significantly more, but we are in a HCOL area, and don’t get invited to that many weddings. I have a friend who is usually very generous with tipping for example, and I think she said she usually gives $250 for family, but she has a lot of relatives and gets invited to lots of weddings of extended family. Lately we’ve given the same amount no matter how much the wedding likely cost.
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Just went to my first wedding in ages and we went back and forth over the amount. After hearing what even a simple wedding costs these days, we gave substantially more.
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What the gala costs is not my concern. I would hope that the couple is more delighted by their guests’ presence than presents. IMO, it is perfectly acceptable to simply give a card and well wishes regardless of how simple or lavish the celebration. A wedding is not a pay-to-play event.
Give whatever you want and don’t give it another thought.
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Agree with your points - and if someone is putting on a $200K wedding I certainly don’t feel like I would need to give a gift consistent with a “gala”. And if something was done frugally I’m not going to short-change that couple but I might ratchet up or down some given the venue/experience and how close the couple getting married is to us.
My understanding from the original question was that they want to give something consistent with the “social norm” might be today. When I got married 25 years ago the norm was $100 from a couple. Again, very regional.
I think we’ve seen similar questions on this board regarding gifts for college graduation and the answers have been quite varied. 
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We have a very large deck that’s 12 years old. We’ve already had several boards replaced, and this year there are more. I’m considering having My Guy (no, not DH) rebuild the deck using one of the composites out there – Trex, Fiberon, TimberTech (and there are probably others). Any opinions or knowledge??
We rebuilt our back stairs from the sunporch to the patio in one of the composites and it’s FANTASTIC! Zero maintenance and it looks like the day we installed it 5 years ago. I would love to be able to replace our front stairs with a composite but the preservation society wont allow it so we have to repaint every year. So annoying!
Which brand did you use??
I’ll be honest that I don’t know! I just went back to pull our estimate and it also doesn’t say. Sorry!
I think @BunsenBurner put on a composite deck recently…..
I re-decked my own about 10 years ago with Trex. The thing to know is that the underlying structure may need work as well. Joists can easily be 16" on center for wood decking and the deck will feel solid. Composite decking is much more flexible and recommendation is for 12" joist spacing. In my case I put an additional joist in every gap so now it’s 8" spacing. Just don’t be surprised if your contractor comes back with a rec’d to re-work the framing.
The other knock on composites is how hot they get. Depending on how much direct sun it gets and your general climate it can be an issue, for you and pets (if you have any). If you’re in a warmer climate and the deck gets sun much of the day, no way you’ll be barefoot on the deck.
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12 years ago I had the wood surround on our spa replaced with Trex - it still looks brand new - we also used Trex as the deck flooring at Ds place - it looks great - we’re Trex fans.
Or raccoons. 
@toledo We built and maintained a koi pond ourselves… koi are a lot of fun but also a lot of work because they are PETS. When we sold the house, we took a couple of koi with us to the new place where we had to build a pond for them quickly. They lived there happily for many years until a rogue raccoon family moved in…
A good koi pond must be at least 5 ft deep. There are two reasons: to provide koi a hiding depth where predators can’t reach them and also to provide exercise by going up and down. Herons hate, hate, hate getting their tails wet, so can’t go deeper than 3-4 feet. If the pond is shallow, there has to be something to deter predators. Also, a koi pond will need good fencing, just like a swimming pool, to comply with the code and to provide peace of mind.
A good pond has to have a functioning biofilter to remove nitrogen from the water. Bio filter is easy to make and doesn’t require any maintenance once it is functional. I can more if needed.
Koi are pets. They can get sick and might require treatment. There are vets who specialize in koi. Koi will require a pet sitter when the owner goes away.
Koi are expensive! A large healthy fish can cost thousands of dollars! Because to get to that point, it takes years of TLC.
Big koi are not interested in mosquito larvae, so a koi pond can become a mosquito factory. To combat that, throw in a few hardy goldfish.
Happy to answer any questions!
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We recently rebuilt our failing 12 year old deck with composite decking. After doing some research with sample pieces of various brands, we went with Deckorators composite boards. They were the least slippery when wet (big issue here) and did not get as hot as others when placed in direct sunlight. All burned though when ignited (husband’s test!).
We also liked the color options.
On a side note, a friend bought a house with a Trex deck that was built 30 years ago. Other than periodic pressure washing during their 25 years of ownership, it requires no maintenance! Still looks good.
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FYI- because of the burning feet issue it was suggested to us to use ironwood. It is a very dense hard wood that looks beautiful and is supposed to last a very long time. Ours has been in place for 3 years now and looks great. Good luck with your job!!
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Ironwood (aka Ipe) is a beautiful wood. Don’t even have to stain it -it’s so dense it won’t readily absorb stain. It also contains a fairly high level of silica so dulls tools pretty quickly. It’s also VERY expensive. So depending on the size of the deck it could be quite cost prohibitive - not that composite is cheap by any stretch!
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Yes. My question was based on feeling very out of the loop and wanting to know what range I should be deciding from. My kids are in their 20s and not married yet and I haven’t been to a wedding in several years. And I’m pretty sure I under gifted those (including older siblings of this wedding).
We are traveling a distance to family wedding and paying for hotel, but the weekend of wedding events will cover all our food needs. That couple lives in a very high cost of living area. The other wedding is local in our lower middle cost of living area. Thankfully I know both couples are not the type to give a second thought to how much people give them (which actually kind of makes me want to give them more).
Both have The Knot websites with links to registries that include a huge variety of items (sports equipment, etc. in addition to what I consider traditional home type items) as well as click to donate for honeymoon, house down payment, etc. I guess I won’t be causing them extra work by writing an old fashioned check! It’s been eye opening for me.
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We found that ipe, when used vertically, warps a little in our rainy climate (we used that on the deck in the previous house). Good for horizontal surfaces though. It does get slippery, too.
We used trex. Paid at the time (several years ago) for the higher end that was supposed to be more slip resistant. Maybe they have improved that, as last year my silly DH decided to clean some gunk from he gutter after it has rained and the latter slipped on the damp deck (don’t get me started) and he broke his wrist! Also, the way our deck guy build the edge, acorns got in between the edge trim and pulled away so he redid it
(Looks much better)
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