“Bet you anything that Illinois State is farther South.”
But not as south as Southern Illinois University! Nothing gets by you!
That was a query about this post by WhataProcess:
Apparently “adjuncts” are not really instructors. Or something. Why the need for adjunct bashing in this thread?
• The girl has ABSOLUTELY committed and is not waiting for any other offers. Her and her parents have flooded social media about her commitment.
• Her directional is the same distance away as the flagship U her brother is at, about 30 minutes.
• The flagship U is one of the best in the country. She was a lock to get accepted. In fact, I often use her as an example for my younger daughter (who wants to attend the flagship) to follow e.g. grades, ECs, leadership.
Well, then, I guess someone made a life decision you don’t fully understand. Won’t be the first time, won’t be the last.
For some crazy reason, other people make life decisions all the time that I would make differently if I were in their shoes … AND they don’t feel that they owe me an explanation! Crazy, isn’t it?
I suggest you say “Congratulations! Enjoy your time there!” and move on and not ponder it any further. Pondering it does you no good and doesn’t change a thing. You might as well ponder why your neighbor painted his living room yellow instead of blue, or chooses Uncle Ben’s over Rice-A-Roni.
I guess I wonder why it’s so “surprising” to find that some other family is not as “into” the choice of college as those of us who post on College Confidential! I mean, I know I’m a “1 percenter” on this dimension compared to the people around me!
Re: #162
Why don’t you name the schools, her intended major, and any reasons she may have had for choosing her school that she broadcast in social media? If they are flooding social media about it, then it is not like they are trying to keep it private.
If you want to make a point other than to cause a generic prestige war, you need to give more detail as to why you think she made a poor decision.
One of the brightest people I know, a real “mover and shaker” in her second career, who is influencing people across several states and has spoken with national leaders, went to a no-name, unranked regional college on a full scholarship, because that was the only way she could afford to go anywhere. I don’t know whether a GC tried to “swoop in and save her” or her guardians were too uninformed or what, but somehow she managed to get hired by one of the NW’s premier tech companies right out of college and never looked back. After she was done with that career she took on a whole new path, and is changing lives ever day.
If THIS STUDENT and her family are happy about her decision, who the heck cares where she goes besides them?? A bright person will do well anywhere-the “rock stars” are the one who MAKE their path work for them. I’ve seen it over and over both in school and beyond. I’m surprised that anyone who feels this kid needs to be “saved” from herself has never seen it in real life.
I find it a bit odd that you’d use some random other kid as an example for your D. I mean, if the kid in question was planning to attend or had gotten into the school your kid liked, maybe. But your kid wants to go to the flagship and you think (I’ll assume you’re correct) this kid would be sure to get in? Frankly if I used some random kid as an example when the kid wasn’t going to the school my kids would probably ask how I even know that so-and-so could get in.
I am old enough to remember a time when parents would pay for a boy to go to college but not necessarily a girl. Two girls in my HS class- both squarely within the top 10%- ended up at the type of no-name regional colleges you guys are talking about. Both have had successful professional careers- more on the basis of who they are (movers and shakers, big thinkers, solidly intellectual and smart) than on where they went to college.
In one case the GC’s tried to intervene with the parents- unsuccessfully. This classmate was heading to a direct nursing program- had been the only female in AP Chem and Physics, the top science student at the school- and the GC’s felt she should be heading to a BS and then MD (if she stayed interested in health care) vs. an RN program. Parents weren’t interested in outside feedback- and this child- like their others- did what they were told.
We (her friends) stayed out of it. It was a lose-lose situation if you didn’t know the family dynamic.
If they’re “flooding social media” then it sounds like they’re pretty happy. The appropriate response in that case is simply, “Congratulations.”
OP is the issue more that you no longer can use this "rockstar " as an example for your own daughter?
Since this idea was just mentioned in another thread–it’s quite possible that she doesn’t want to go to the flagship because her brother is there. Some kids want to blaze their own path. My D initially wouldn’t even consider her brother’s school. Turns out they offer a major she’s interested in, which our flagship doesn’t offer. So she applied but it’s definitely not her top choice.
In any case it sounds like the family is happy with the decision so…
It seems like some posters in this thread think that a smart student will be held back by the other students at a directional. The majority of people have something to teach you, it’s simply impossible to know everything and there is value to talking to people who don’t have a 4.0 GPA and a 2400 SAT.
One of my neighbors dropped out of high school to go to community college and get a teaching certificate. She now runs a small school and lives in a good neighboorhod in a nice house.
I know a guy who literally ranked dead last in his high school class, he got into a nonselective college and dropped out after the first semester. A year or so later he went back to college at a local directional and got his **** together. I don’t remember what his initial degree was, but he was able to get a job at the hospital and he worked his way up. His determination and hard work is what got him to be the manager of the county health system. The hospital also paid for him to go back to school and get various other degrees and certificates. He is an excellent public speaker, well liked and respected, and very successful. In addition to his work at the hospital he teaches self defense classes and is opening his own gym.
There’s an alternative energy company in my area and the CEO has a similar story. Did poorly in high school and college, but is now respected and wealthy.
There are a lot of people (with all different types of stats) who couldn’t do this, but there are a lot who can and you shouldn’t write something off because their scores don’t meet your benchmark for success. A smart student at a directional will still be able to find people she can learn from and she certainly isn’t doomed because of her school choice.
But really in the end it’s no one’s business what she decides to do. Everyone has different expectations for their college experience and if she is happy then that’s great, but still none of your business. And if she realizes she hate it? Well then she can transfer or choose to stick it out, either way not your concern. Pick your jaw up off the floor, congratulate her, and wish her all the best.
I had lunch with a guy recently who was accepted at the University of Michigan, but choose to attend Eastern Michigan because it was closer to home. He chose EMU because he came from a working class background and he felt more comfortable at Ypsilanti than Ann Arbor. He ended up semi-retiring in his 40’s so it seemed to work out for him.
Sometimes, being the big fish in a small pond has its advantages. A very well known case is that of David L.V. Bauer, the first place winner in the 2005 Intel Science Talent Search, who got accepted at Harvard (and a number of other top ten Universities), but choose Macaulay Honors College at The City College of New York (CCNY). He majored in Chemistry, won a 2009 Rhodes Scholarship (Barry M. Goldwater Scholarship in 2007, a Harry S. Truman Scholarship for Public Service, Macaulay Honors College Chancellor’s Award), went on to Oxford to do is MS and Ph.D. I think he is currently a Postdoctoral Fellow at Oxford University. As part of Macaulay Honors College, David spent his junior year at the “Wellcome Trust Centre for Human Genetics” at The University of Oxford.
http://www.ccny.cuny.edu/commencement/bauer.cfm
Had he attended Harvard, could he had won a Rhodes Scholarship? Maybe…yet he made a conscious decision to attend CCNY (to the amazement of many) and graduated with a 3.99 GPA and went on to do great things at Oxford.
“The majority of people have something to teach you, it’s simply impossible to know everything and there is value to talking to people who don’t have a 4.0 GPA and a 2400 SAT.”
THIS. A thousand times, THIS. Years ago when my D was still pretty young, she was in a dance class which had a new student who was developmentally disabled. At one point her shoe came untied and she just stood there, unsure of what to do as they were in the middle of dancing. Some of the kids twittered about her not knowing how to tie her shoes. The instructor stopped everything and told the other kids that everyone had challenges and there was no room for mocking anyone who couldn’t do something. Then he went over and tied the girl’s shoe for her.
The idea that a bright kid will be “brought down” by even breathing the same air as more average or even some poor students has a nasty edge to it. Maybe that 2.5 kid can do a craft that the 4.o kid can’t even begin to manage, or the one with the barely acceptable SAT has had to work around severe test anxiety. Maybe the “average” directional student can grow anything, while the 2400 SAT kid has a black thumb. Maybe all of those directional chumps know a lot more about working for what they do have. It’s all in how you look at things. I know plenty of “rock stars” who aren’t all that capable in relating to others. Maybe if they start testing for that though…
• Not use her as an example anymore for daughter? She’s now an example of not just how hard to work, but represents how privileged my children are to not have to worry about finances when it comes to college selection.
• As for blazing her own trail and avoiding brother’s flagship U. Her Facebook has a lot of posts showing her visiting her brother at college, cheering for their teams, wearing the merch.
I do find it bracing that so many posters here believe that somebody else’s decision, no matter how odd it may seem, must be based on well-thought-out and supported reasons, and couldn’t have been made for really stupid reasons. I hope you’re right, but I have observed quite a few stupid decisions (or to be more charitable, decisions based on an imperfect understanding of the facts) to be quite so certain about it.
If a really top football prospect signed with a really weak college, many people would be curious about why this decision was made. Indeed, their jaws might hit the floor. There might be a really good reason, and then again, there might not be.
My kids went to high school in a Maryland suburb of DC. There were numerous kids at that school, who, if they had decided to attend Towson University, I would have extremely surprised and would have wondered what in the world had led them to make such a decision. I would not have put on my cape and flown over to their house to demand an explanation, but I’d sure be curious. For some kids I know pretty well, I would have thought there must be some good but unknown reason, like health or a family problem; but for some others, my best guess would have been that the decision was pushed by parents for reasons I don’t agree with. Again, it’s their business, but lots of people do things I don’t agree with.
Re: #176
So what are the schools in question?
Generic prestige war threads really do not shed much light on anything (except perhaps reveal some posters’ generic attitudes on school prestige).
I don’t think Macaulay Honors is a good example of a directional equivalent as admission to Macaulay Honors is considered prestigious in its own right and one needs Ivy/peer-elite level stats to be admitted into the program.
They also have what some would consider onerous requirements for staying in such as maintaining a minimum of a 3.3 cumulative GPA the first 3 semesters and a 3.5 cumulative GPA thereafter, not failing one of the four required City seminars, and 30 hours of mandated community service with a minimum of 10 to be completed within the first year.
http://macaulay.cuny.edu/community/handbook/policies/good-standing-and-graduation-requirements/
Incidentally, if this program existed while that now math Prof HS classmate and I were in high school, I doubt one of our HS teachers would have felt the need to take nearly an hour after school to persuade said classmate who exhausted all math offerings at our HS at the end of his sophomore year to reconsider his decision to attend one of the 4-year CUNY colleges.