<p>I agree with you, p3t. It’s about eye-contact, verbal ease, and attitude. </p>
<p>I happen to have one of each. Short and tall. S1 is six-foot something, looks like Hayden Christiansen in that very bad Star Wars movie, and is somewhat bashful around the ladies. I could tell several stories in which “clueless” would be the punchline, but I won’t. Suffice to say that he has lots of female friends, but no one special GF. But he’s only 18 and I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about for another 10 years or so. </p>
<p>S2, however, at 15 is on the short side – about 5’6" but looks like the actor who played the oldest son on Seventh Heaven, scary cute, and is not the least bit bashful. I know that he’s the one I have to keep an eye on. The red-headed volleyball player who asked him to the formal dance a few weeks ago stood about five inches taller than him. They still made a gorgeous couple.</p>
<p>I mean I don’t want to take away from anybody’s pride. All of these are helpful socially: smart, handsome, tall, even-featured, witty, clever, strong, quick.
I just don’t get (never have) why the tall one is the deal-breaker for initial social acceptance between couples, while everything else is forgivable. Unless I just don’t know about the others who say their missing piece is the dealbreaker for them…</p>
<p>I’ve heard people say they categorically “won’t” date a short guy or a tall girl, but I’ve not yet heard someone rule out a person at the outset for being weak or unable to tell a good joke, when those qualities also relate to “protecting” somebody. My dad story-told and joked his way out of a kidnapping at gunpoint by the KKK, for example. Seriously, he did that.</p>
<p>I read that one explanation for Robin Hood was that he had 20/20 vision. If you think about it, that gave him quite a competitive advantage as a marksman, when nobody wore glasses yet.</p>
<p>Son who is at the large college has not really made a lot of new friends. He came from a large high school and an ever increasing number of students has come into the large university he attends so he meets people he knows all the time and these are the folks he socializes with regularly. But when it come to meeting new people he hasn’t really made the new contacts. I assume this will change as he is more involved with his major. Actaully he has met people in his major .I can’t really say if he see these folks socially. I think not. Dating is not something on his mind at school. First of all he doesn’t have the money.Secondly he is still involved with many girl friends at home and doesn’t see himself as being involved with any girl.
Son at the smaller, private college is having a ball and has met many new friends. Every time I call I hear girls in his room. He already had one girlfriend, at least, but after a stiff talk during Thanksgiving about premature sex and messing up one’s future somehow that girlfriend disappeared by Christmas. He has his group, he has his friends, male and female, all new. It’s working out so well for him socially.He’s happy and has a lot to do. These kids are like him and we are SO glad he made this college choice.</p>
<p>As for your daughter it will work out. She has things on her mind right now and no talks is fine. I would just ask her , “Are you depressed?” She probably will yell at you.I’m sure your daughter is sorting things out in her mind. If she wanted to leave her school you would hear.</p>
<p>Relax Daddy!</p>
<p>Just ot add, another thing on my boys mind is the drinking. Both are trying very hard to be alcohol free until they are 21. So far fine with number 3 . Number 4, I don’t know, but I’m talking at him about it all the time.</p>
<p>Really interesting reading here, and these posts give me hope. Glad to hear that chances are good that S will find ‘his people’ once he gets to college.</p>
I feel the same way. After Dimensions (Dartmouth’s accepted student program), I can say that it looks very promising. I’m so ready.</p>
<p>(I can’t call myself an extrovert with a straight face, but I’m absolutely not the wallflower I’ve been in high school. In a class of 50 students, most of whom you’ve known since seventh grade, there simply aren’t many opportunities for “finding your people.”)</p>
<p>What I liked most about college was the realization that most of us had been the “out” crowd in h.s., so by definition and sheer numbers, we were suddenly all “in.” More importantly, there need never again be a singular “in” or “out” crowd at all. I can still remember how happy I felt to feel those tables turn at age 17. It was a very important difference in my life.</p>
<p>cam…you don’t know how great it is to read the excitement in your posts about Dartmouth. </p>
<p>dstark…look deeeeeeeep into my posts…<em>says cheers with the pendulum in her hand</em></p>
<p>The +6’ is the shy guy but both have had intimidatingly beautiful, super clever ‘girlfriends’ and girlfriend-wanna-bees hovering near them… since the age of 12. I attribute this to the fact that they are both nice, laid back egalitarians–true feminists along the lines of their dad. For those who worry about a limited social life, I say be careful what you wish for. Boys plus romantic drama = Bad movie with deer in headlights action. Since the age of 18, the girls’ interest seems to have turned to serious forever and ever.</p>
<p>Their dad, handsome and dry-witted as he is, had a fraction of such interest from the opposite sex when he was a lad. He attributes that to his ‘vertical challenge’. ;)</p>
<p>I dated nothing but a string of +6’ guys. When I complained to my mother about DH’s height , she-who-done-spat-me-out-her-mouth told me that she had lost a sense of her physical self in a long marriage to a person who was nearly twice her size. She was dwarfed standing next to him–and over time, she assumed a bit of the ‘dwarfed’ role. (Not much by my reckoning. She’s kind of a spitfire). Anyway, she wondered aloud whether that would have happened had she married ‘in proportion’ and the rest is history. I took her advice and decided that there could be advantages to ‘fit’–and I accepted a few more dates with DH. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, don’t ask me how we got such giant boys. Shouldn’t have happened. Big thrill for my husband though–a thrill which is right below having the intimidatingly beautiful 18 year old girls and their gorgeous friends stop by for an ice cream and and hour of TV–when sons are overseas!</p>
<p>Speaking of tall vs. short- my sons were/are very aware when it comes to height- they worried growing up that they would be ‘short’ like dad. Their height (just shy of 6’ each) came from my side of the family. They know that if they marry a short woman, chances are their kids will be short. Because they played sports all their life, height/size matters to them.
Gasp, this is beginning to sound way to scientific.</p>
<p>Dado2- Like my grandpa used to say, “when yuz nose to nose, yuz toes is in it; when yuz toes to toes, yuz nose is in it.”</p>