My kids started swimming lessons as tiny tots and went through all the levels of Red Cross fairly young. Anyway, when they were young, we belonged to a sports center, primarily to use the pool, and it was part of the resort where we lived. One time, I was in the shallow end with my 4 year old daughter. My 2 year old daughter was occupying herself on a lounge chair. I’d say there were less than a dozen people in the pool and less than 2 dozen on the deck area. The pool had a lifeguard. My 2 year old got up off her chair and started running and accidentally ran into the deep end of the pool and fell in, not intending to. I had to be about 15 feet away. I was horrified but within one second, a lady who was standing at that same spot where D fell in, and was in her tennis outfit chatting with pool guests, jumped right in all dressed and just scooped D. It was like in a split second. D was totally fine and not even flustered. I was very shaken up. I also wondered where the lifeguard was. It turned out, the lifeguard was not in the pool area at all. When I had entered the pool area, the lifeguard was there and a sign saying “lifeguard on duty” was on the entrance gate to the fenced in pool. But the lifeguard was taking a lunch break and had left the pool. In my view, there was a false sense of thinking the pool was being watched by a lifeguard and I think he could have informed the small number of parents with kids there that he was leaving the pool and it would be unattended so we would know. Even so, it was my mistake to not keep any flotation device on my two year old while she was not in the pool. I was so shaken up that I took the kids inside to a phone (no cell phones then) to call my husband to tell him. My kids were likely wondering why Mommy was a basket case because they felt fine.
Now, as you can see, soooo many of us are relating stories of water mishaps with our children and others’ children and some even worse, where death by drowning occurred. I’d like to think I was a very dedicated and responsible parent and an overly cautious type too. And the way I see, most CC parents likely were/are too…I mean, we are on CC, right? We all have tried to do our best with our kids. And yet, we cannot prevent every accident, even if we are diligent. Obviously, there are degrees of such diligence and childcare, but even under the best intentions, negative things can happen and we cannot prevent every single bad thing.
I feel heartsick for Bode and his wife on the tragic loss of their toddler, which they will never fully get over. It is even ironic in some ways, knowing that Bode was/is in a high risk sport (know of him as we were a ski racing family). My hope is that people do not blame them and that they can go easy on themselves and not feel a sense of blame, but simply a tragic accident occurred. The feeling of blame on top of the grief of their loss would be even worse. Many of us shared stories here…it could have been us, even if we think it would not have happened because we were so careful with our kiddies.
We live in Arizona. Everyone gets their kids swimming at a young age. We don’t own a pool but had our son in water safety lessons by his 2nd birthday, where they are taught to get to the side and climb out after being tossed in fully clothed, and even to jump off the diving board and swim to the opposite end of a backyard pool. After these lessons over two summers we were at our neighbor’s house and son was swimming around with the neighbor kid. I was watching from the side and chatting with the neighbors. Son was paddling around while holding a floating ball of some sort. He lost hold of the ball and went under a couple of feet from the side. I watched to see if he could get himself above water and to the side. Nope. He tried to do what he had been taught but he couldn’t even get one breath. It was totally silent. No splashes. No yells. I jumped in fully clothed and pulled him out . This all took a total of a few seconds. If my back had been turned when he lost his grip, even for just a moment, it could have been far worse. It happens too easily and too quickly.
So sad for the families who lose a child this way.
Yes, kids and others silently sink like a rock—not a splash or scream. It sure is scary. I’m glad I had our kids take lessons when they were toddlers but I still never left them when they were near water until they were teens. There is too much water everywhere in HI—lots of pools, ocean, and other water.
Tragic. Every person’s nightmare. I also remember how exhausting it was to be “on” and vigilant when our kids were wee. Reading this thread is stirring up a ton of anxiety.
My daughter took 4 swimming lessons per week when she was 2 because I was sure she was going to drown. She had no fear of water and whenever she saw water, she jumped in. She had no body fat so couldn’t float.
I know someone whose 2 yr old drowned in their pool. They lived in FL, and the pool was attached to the house by a deck with sliders. They always kept the door to the backyard from their garage locked with a deadbolt too high for a child to reach…but their house had recently been involved in a bed hurricane-related flood. The door had swelled, the lock wouldn’t work. They were waiting for a replacement door. There were people visiting who had a 4 yr old, they were leaving, there was hubbub, apparently the 4 yr old opened the door and went out to the pool and the 2 yr old followed him…
To me having adult children is just as anxiety producing. Only now it isn’t as easy as putting child-proof thingies in the outlets or locks on the doors. Now it’s way more complicated and we have zero control.
"maya54: I didn’t even throw in a load of laundry when my kids were little without them by my side. That’s why I can indeed say I never lost track of them even for a couple of minutes. At least not at the age Miller’s daughter was. But that’s also why I found those years so tiresome "
You are an unusual parent if you indeed never ever stepped outside the room, even to quickly use the restroom or get a cup of coffee when your child was playing quietly or watching a tv show or something (though I didn’t use TV at that age).
My kids got deeply involved in things at an early age and would do it for half an hour or more, so yeah, I went to the bathroom (or used a crib) and stepped out of the room briefly rather than drag them with me room to room.
Most of us never had this happen, thank God. But that is just by mere happenstance (or if someone wants to call it the grace of God, I do not object - people are graced by God and in different ways).
I hear you on the exhaustion of those years, though. But they were much less emotionally draining than later years (but I digress).
It’s quite common in Florida for houses to be built with pools right outside them, with the whole “outdoor room” covered by a rigid metal mesh structure that will keep out mosquitos. You can open several doors of your house and be right at the pool in just a few feet.
I had a friend with a house like that and it drove her crazy. When her kids were born (they’re in college now), she searched around to find a fence company that would install a rigid fence between the pool and the house on one side and she kept the other doors locked. But it’s still a danger. It was hard for her to find anyone who could do that too.
In CT, for the first time I saw a pool that had grass coming right up to the edge, and no fence anywhere. They may have changed laws since then but it shocked me at the time. I was used to NY laws which required a separate pool fence from your back yard fence, and at least 4’ of paving on the sides.
With all this vigilance, I have a cousin who lost her teenage son to drowning in their backyard pool. He had been swimming alone and must have hit his head on something. Don’t let anyone swim alone, especially those who feel that they are invincible because they swim well, etc.
“Sylvan: To me having adult children is just as anxiety producing. Only now it isn’t as easy as putting child-proof thingies in the outlets or locks on the doors. Now it’s way more complicated and we have zero control”.
This. I laugh at myself now, thinking those former days were hard.
A 13-year-old boy is believed to have drowned in a lake in Wisconsin over the weekend. His flotation device was found empty and a search for his body commenced. A law enforcement officer involved with the search said that divers are encountering a lot of stuff (plants, fishing lines) below the surface that is making their job difficult and that presumably could have entangled the boy.
Bode Miller has announced the funds raised from the GoFundMe will be donated to “worthwhile causes connected to water safety education”. More details will be released later.