<p>domi555, I didn’t look closely at Occidental (too far from home!), so I can’t really help you compare. But I was thinking about your question while I was hanging out with my friends this evening…</p>
<p>Oberlin is, in many ways, a place where folks who didn’t fit in in high school can find an accepting crowd, and that was one of the thing that really drew me here. (Though of course there are plenty of students who were perfectly happy in high school, and by and large they do just fine here as well.) There’s not really a “mainstream” at Oberlin; there’s a huge range of socially acceptable dress, behavior, interests, etc. There are constant opportunities to try new and different things, and get to know new and different people – and that’s something we embrace. We’re curious about each other. We’re not frightened by our differences; we’re interested in exploring them.</p>
<p>I think that a lot of kids who are socially marginalized in high school feel the need to cultivate a style that’s deliberately different, as a way of asserting themselves and showing pride and strength in their difference. Some carry that to Oberlin with them. Over time, most ultimately figure out that there’s not really a need for it; the social norms and judgements that divide people in high school just aren’t a big deal here.</p>
<p>Many of my friends here were “freaks” in high school, for a lot of reasons – some relatively trivial (wrote poetry in Latin! skipped prom for a rally! never missed an episode of Doctor Who!), some less so (the only queer student). As students at Oberlin (or, in some cases, recent grads), they still have the traits that marked them as “different” in high school, but they don’t need to defend themselves anymore. They’re mature, balanced, confident and strong in their difference.</p>
<p>For the record, “lack of pretentiousness”, “pursuing their education with sincerity”, “don’t seem to take themselves seriously”… this describes my friends at Oberlin to a T, and it’s one of the reasons I chose Oberlin over the other schools I was considering. When I visited, I got the impression that the students I met were deeply passionate about their studies and willing to work hard to do well … but they were also way more interested in cooperating than competing, and they had a sense of perspective: classes are important, but at the end of the day, they’re not the only thing that matters. That attitude seemed much healthier than some of the other schools I visited, where there was a lot of internal and external pressure to excel at all costs. After three years at Oberlin, that initial impression has been confirmed over and over.</p>
<p>(Another thing that amazes me is that Oberlin students are so much more than just students – it seems like everyone has a hidden passion that they’re secretly brilliant at. I am constantly discovering that someone bakes incredible bread, or makes their own guitars, or performed with a professional circus troupe for five years. It blows my mind.)</p>
<p>Does that help?</p>