<p>Personally, I think it is ok as long as there are friends close by who know the teen is home alone and can be called upon in an emergency, and (at least where I live), the teenager has a driver’s license and a car available to be able to get where they need to go.</p>
<p>Edit: I should have said, this applies to a teen who has shown him or herself to be trustworthy and responsible, not one who is not mature and responsible.</p>
<p>18 year old are fighting this war, going into battle and some parents are afraid of leaving them alone?</p>
<p>jeesh</p>
<p>citygirlsmom, most people are concerned about leaving those UNDER 18 home alone. I can understand Brandon’s mom’s concerns about leaving a HS student home alone.</p>
<p>sjmom, as I said, it depends on the kid, their maturity level, and the trust that they’ve earned. College kids may not really be alone at college but to think that someone is ‘keeping an eye on them’ is a little naive. Who is it who’s keeping an eye on them? RAs? That really isn’t part of the job description. And why would being in a dorm with hundreds of their peers be safer than to be home alone? The real dangers in this world which could impact kids of this age aren’t any more likely to impact them at home than they are while they’re away at college.</p>
<p>I would trust my kids to leave them at home alone, the kids I wouldn’t trust are some of their friends. I have always felt that by having someone (usually a young-adult relative or friend) stay with them at night, it takes away the pressure to have to turn away people who might want to recreate “Animal House” or worse, “Sixteen Candles” or “Risky Business” in my home. This way, my kids always have the “out” of saying, “Sorry, I can’t have people over, my parents have somebody staying with us”</p>
<p>Oh, and the way kids are getting caught now is by posting pictures of their bad or naughty behavior on the web! HELLLLLO- can you say stupid? :)</p>
<p>I guess it is a case by case situation. For us, the few times when this came up while my D was in high school were during the week for one (or maybe two) nights when both my husband and I needed to be away for work, not on the weekend. It was during the school year at a time when my daughter was so busy with homework, marching band, and who knows what all else, that she had no time to turn on the television, let alone entertain a bunch of wild kids. Her main concern about staying at her best friend’s home (which was another option) was that the friend was not taking as hard a schedule and did not have as many hours of hw, and that my D would not be able to easily get her hw done. But I can relate to ag54’s concerns for a teen with a lot of partying-type friends over a weekend.</p>
<p>I know my brother & sister-in-law left their 16-year-old home alone for several days because he was having summer football practice & the rest of the family was on a family vacation. He had a few friends over to play videogames (tho he promised not to), but otherwise was responsible & had tons of folks to call if he needed any help. He had a driver’s license & was able to drive himself wherever he needed to go & handled the matter responsibly.
If my kids had licenses & were comfortable getting where they needed to go, I’d leave them from when they were 16 (the youngest you can get your license). As it is, neither of my kids has a license & they can’t even get to school without being driven or catching a bus & then transferring to get to school & back again, so we’ve never left them on their own. I would have no problems trusting my kids & have left them at night from the time the older one was about 12 or so; they’re very responsible kids.</p>
<p>I am somewhat surprised to hear so many of you say that you would leave your high school kids “home alone” for a day or two or more. Maybe it’s just the area of the country I live in, but I have read too many stories within the past year or two of kids who have been home alone on the weekend and word has spread through the school and the next thing you know there is a large, out-of-control party, the police, and a kid with alchohol poisoning being taken to a hospital. Certainly, many of these parents “trusted” their kids. All it takes is for an innocent comment to be passed in school about parents going on a business trip.</p>
<p>My 16 yr old son takes buses, subways, transfers all the time. I have no problem with him doing any of that, and we have left him for whole days, with those logistics.</p>
<p>But I still wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him overnight alone.</p>
<p>momof3sons, you must live in an area like mine. As soon as word spreads that the “peeps” are out of town, the house becomes party central. Of course, the cops then show up and everyone gets an MIP. I still don’t get it when I hear of parents leaving the kids alone on the weekends. There was a case last year where the parents left a senior home on NEW YEARS! The bust was incredible with stories of kids leaping over neighbors fences and hiding in landscaping or under cars. Not a pretty scene. Luckily, we (including my kids) were safely out of town!</p>
<p>AM, same here. Older son took the train and then several subways a couple of times a day for the summer between junior and senior year. He got lost a couple of times, but it was a good experience. That’s different from an overnight.</p>
<p>My neighbor used to love his time as designated bouncer when we were out of town. When elderly relative died (S was 16) and we needed to be gone for three days, I called the mother of each of S’s good friends to advise them we would be gone, that the rule was that noone at all (male or female) could come to the house. All invited him for a meal and generally offered to look after things. It takes a village…</p>
<p>Here’s a related-yet-different “how did they think they’d get away with that?” story. My S works at an independently-owned small retail food shop. On Hallowe’en night, one of the owners and his D arrived around 8:30pm to be served (the store closes at 10). The store was closed up, door locked, lights out. Owner found the two teenaged male clerks in the back room, with another guy and several girls. They were fired on the spot. </p>
<p>The owners usually arrive after closing, by 11, to lock up and take the bank deposit. Maybe these guys thought they’d finish up their party and get everyone out in time to look normal at 11? I don’t know, it just amazes me the things kids think they can pull off. I guess we all engage in magical thinking from time to time when we want something to go our way (I know <em>I</em> did when I was that age!), but this one just had my jaw dropping. I mean, in the STORE???</p>
<p>Yea, I do recall some of the parties my brother’s threw at my folks house. We all knew things were out of control when we were all invited to the party repeatedly by strangers who none of us (my brother included) knew. The parties stopped when he realized it was more fun to be guest than host, cheaper too!</p>
<p>My S’s idea of a good time is playing computer & video games. D’s idea is similar, with some videos, DVDs & anime/manga thrown in for good measure. Can’t see them having hordes of unknown folks arriving at our house under any circumstances. Their friends are all quiet & well mannered & have never been to our house other than to drop off or pick up our kids.</p>
<p>My friend left her high school aged son home for a couple of nights in the summer; he had a summer job and was unable to accompany the rest of the family on their trip.</p>
<p>She and her husband returned to a home in suspiciously good order. The son did such a good job cleaning up that it was only a day or so later when she threw something into the recycling bin that she noticed it was full of beer cans. Busted!</p>
<p>My mother left me, aged 15, in charge of my two younger siblings while she flew 2000 miles away to get married a second time. By then I was doing all the cooking and cleaning, anyway. There was no car, no public transportation. We managed, with nary a police citation, and she didn’t regret leaving us alone, although the marriage was certainly another story!</p>
<p>I do, though, think it’s wrong to use the blanket term “irresponsible” for decisions that may or may not have been carefully thought out by parents. We left our almost-17 year old alone for the three days of school he swore he could not miss last June and trusted him to get to the airport and get on a plane to Utah for his cousin’s wedding. He had dozens of phone numbers, a secure apartment (with sprinklers) and two parents who called him at random times. To have someone stay with him (essentially, babysit him) would have seemed odd. There’s no “one size fits all” in this issue.</p>
<p>My parents would NEVER leave my brother and I home alone overnight, and we’re freaking model citizens. I can’t blame them; parents do what parents do. I guess they figure better safe than sorry. Necessity really breeds more leniency in this kind of situation, which I don’t necessarily consider “irresponsible”. My parents can easily get a relative to watch us, but some families don’t have that option, and so have to put a little faith in their kids.</p>
<p>My friends parents, for instance, oftentimes leave her alone for entire weekends (probably NOT out of necessity…), and no wild partying goes on except for driving around town in her dad’s Mercedes, sneaking into the adult superstore (taking pictures, giggling, and being generally really damn immature), and then crashing back at her place for beer and the indoor heated swimming pool. But all of this was done in a small group, not large-scale house party size, and would have happened had her parents not been MIA, anyway ;).</p>