<p>Southern hope…agreed. That being the case, this poster should just get a job and pay his own way… There is no need for him to take the money his parents paid for him to attend college. </p>
<p>@boysx3</p>
<p>I suppose you’re right. I could try (again) to freelance on the side for cash.</p>
<p>@HarvestMoon1</p>
<p>“I am a little confused about the numbers. Is it the development bootcamp that will cost you between 0 and $20,000? If your mom is opposed to you attending, is this what you are trying to raise funds to pay for? Also wondering if you have spoken to recent grads of this “bootcamp” to ascertain that the salaries they claim graduates attain has some basis in fact.”</p>
<p>Yesh! Some cost 0 to attend and only charge tuition once you are hired! From there, they take 10% of your first year salary. The one I am going to costs $12,500 upfront.</p>
<p>I haven’t met with any graduates yet, unfortunately.</p>
<p>“Sounds to me that you are chomping at the bit to get out in the working world and make some money.”</p>
<p>I am. My mom is in my ear about making my own money on a weekly basis. Now that I’m trying to get out there and make that a reality, I’m being met with a great deal of opposition. Excuse my language, but what the hell does this lady want?</p>
<p>“And no, the college you are attending is not going to refund any tuition payments made by your mom to you. But you should know that!”</p>
<p>You see, one would think that, but last semester, I received a check in my name when we showed The University that we have our own health insurance; that is, we do not need to have health insurance included in our tuition.</p>
<p>@Pennylane2011</p>
<p>“How would your parents feel if…”</p>
<p>I’m past the point of trying to empathize. I’ve made a dear effort.</p>
<p>@thumper1</p>
<p>“If this boot camp is so wonderful, how about if you apply for JOBS and pay your own way. If you land a job where you can support yourself in NYC, you can just start in December when the fall term ends. Problem solved.”</p>
<p>That works, but by then we will have already paid tuition for that semester. How can I show my mother that we need not spend another dime at this university right now?</p>
<p>Yes there are employers who will hire for skills. Google is one but that would be an exceptional hire. That would be very difficult to gain that offer. With no college and no experience. Possible sure. I think one thing the college experience gives you is other skills to sustain a career, not just the programming language du jour. It can be awkward to be older and never completed that degree.</p>
<p>@BrownParent </p>
<p>Hey – thanks for your reply.</p>
<p>I don’t know what more I can do to stress that it is NOT my intent to not go back to college and earn a degree. I just want to do it when I feel it’s time for me to do so, and when I can appreciate learning what college has to teach.</p>
<p>On “awkward”: Awkward in what sense? Socially awkward? It’s only awkward if I, myself, feel strange for not having a degree. If my “degreelessness” is awkward to anyone else, then I must question why they care so much.</p>
<p>I suppose I am trying to scare you.</p>
<p>If the school gives you a refund you aren’t stealing money from the school, but you are stealing it from your mother.</p>
<p>Considering the cost of most schools it is most likely grand theft - a felony!!!</p>
<p>I’ll add the following - you are an adult. Do as you wish. Just don’t expect your parents financial support.</p>
<p>Although I don’t think it’s likely a parent would press charges, it is dishonest. Tuition is a gift parents give their kids, but the student has to want it too. It’s also not a free money gift to be exchanged for something the student wants. Your parents don’t have to pay for something they don’t want to pay for.
The tuition idea won’t work in many ways. I think there can be some sort of refund if the student withdraws within the first few days of school, but it is a partial one at that. (The policy on this should be stated in their guidelines.) Enrolling with the intent of withdrawing is not only deceitful but a waste of money too.
I have concerns about you returning to school. It’s pretty clear you don’t want to be there, and you are at a standoff with your parents. You want them to pay for something that they don’t want to pay for, and so you are thinking of a way to do it behind their backs, with their money.
The more honest alternative is to pay for it yourself, Take a gap year, work, do the lower cost boot camp, whatever you can do with your money, but conning your parents into enrolling you while you plan to withdraw from school is one way to damage their trust in you. </p>
<p>Unless you paid for your college health insurance with your own money, that check you got from your college should have gone back to whoever paid for the college health insurance - presumably your parents.</p>
<p>I’m pretty appalled that a kid can reach the age of 19 and not see a problem with stealing from his parent.</p>
<p>I don’t know a parent who would not be upset if kid did this. A parent is NOT paying you the money directly. That is very clear as your mother WILL NOT give you the money for this venture, or really for anything. She is paying a school, a particular college with the understanding that you will be going there as a student. </p>
<p>But to answer your question, the answer is that it depends upon the policies of that particular college’s Bursar Office as to how refunds are issued. Many times they are sent to the parent who is listed as being the responsible financial agent via check, not to YOU, and the check is made out to the parent. I suppose you could falsify the signature on the check as well if you are going down this path of fraud. Why don’t you rob a bank or two while you are at it.</p>
<p>Some years ago, a young man in our neighborhood, did just as you are thinking of doing, though for other reasons. He got caught when another neighbor was doing a college tour with kid, lost the alleged student’s contact number, and had to go to the college registrar for help. He was not listed as a student, they did not catch up with each other, and the neighbor told the parent who then checked things out. Yes, one can do a lot of things with the tuition refund. One can do a lot of things with stolen money which is why there are thieves out there. </p>
<p>If you think that a teenager taking one of these boot camps is going to be getting a very high paying job and be able to find an apartment in NYC you are out of your mind. You are better off buying lottery tickets. You’ll likely need mom’s credit report and signatiures, notarized just to get a NYC apt–actually that would be harder most likely that fraudulently getting a college refund that should be going to mom for yourself. </p>
<p>There are 6 ways to Sunday to cheat your mom out of money. Why you are choosing this particular method and feeling this is not as bad, I have no idea. You can just steal a check and write one to yourself or to the program and cut out the middle man (college) if you think this is all ok, using other people’s money for things they do not sanction. It’s easy to steal from parents because they love and trust you, and leave a lot of private info open to kids for that reason. </p>
<p>While I am appalled at this scheme of yours, I suspect this is mostly a creative way to procrastinate during finals week. Go study.</p>
<p>Ange…how can you show your mom NOT to spend more on tuition? Get a signed contract for a JOB, listing your salary and benefits.</p>
<p>I’m going to give my two cents worth. That Boot Camp is not going to disappear. Get your bachelors degree, then do the boot camp. In my opinion, having that degree will be an advantage to you. </p>
<p>In this house, our kids had two choices after high school…go to college which we paid for, or get a job which made them self supporting. There was NO negotiation on that. None. Maybe that is how your mom feels. She just wants you to complete a degree. </p>
<p>I guess I don’t see the issue with you doing so.</p>
<p>Can you take an approved leave of absence from your current school?</p>
<p>Since you state you are paying your parents back for your current tuition, can you ask them to fund you for summer boot camp with the intention that you will be getting a full-time job in the Fall.
See how that feels and then either go back to your university full time or part time in the Spring. </p>
<p>Although I am not as alarmed by your plans as some of the other responders, I would respectfully like to point out to you that being an adult ‘out in the world’ is not always as attractive as it’s cracked up to be…
You sound mature, but lot’s of issues (not to mention costs) that may not occur to you now, will invariably crop up. Can you handle them? </p>
<p>If you do proceed with the boot camp plan, assure your parents that you intend to complete your degree, but perhaps not all at once.</p>
<p>One of the most successful people I know went to an IVY League school, but only in alternating years (with approved leave of absences in between), as he had some interesting professional opportunities that made sense for him.</p>
<p>Even though your mother is lending you the money to go to college and you will be paying her back with interest, it’s still not your decision how to spend the money. She is lending it to you for that purpose only. Do you have a promissory note with her? Add up the interest you will be paying and you’ll see that she won’t be living high on the hog from your payback money.</p>
<p>Your best solution is to get a leave of absence from the college as well as a job, not just freelancing but also any job that will take you - starting now and racking up hours so you can pay for the bootcamp yourself. Show your mom your contracts - the freelancing checks, the daily fastfood grunt job, everything that shows you’re serious and are willing to sacrifice to do that bootcamp. Write a contract, that you sign, whereby at the end of your year’s leave of absence you will return to college either full time (if the bootcamp venture didn’t work out) or part time (if it worked as you plan). Save from now until December. Pay for the bootcamp yourself. Depending on the results, in May resume college full time or go to college part-time.
In any case, you’re not ready to return to college so your mother shouldn’t waste her money paying for tuition for the Fall.</p>