In laws moved many hours away before we got married. We alternated Thanksgiving and Christmas between my family and his (mine lived near us). When we got married, we told the in laws that once we had kids, we wouldn’t be traveling at Christmas, but they were always welcome to come stay with us. We have plenty of room. H’s sister lives 3 hours from their parents. She was also welcome to come. But my in laws insisted on being at their house, and they considered it important to go to their church. So SIL, her H and their son spent every Christmas at my in laws’ house. SIL had no problem with it - she had “her” room in their house, and she considered their church (which she attended a couple times a year) as hers. Over the years, many things were said that made it clear that “family” didn’t include us. They liked it when we came to visit at non-holiday times, but it was more like we were guests rather than family. My kids are fine with it, though, because they don’t know anything else.
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