OP you have a lot of chin up advice but of course you are disappointed. You wanted to know you could have if you wanted. I disagree with those who say you didn’t want it enough. They make it seem like there is a system and you can win. But the reality is that chance plays a huge role and that’s what you’re learning.
You sound like one of the more insightful and self-aware kids here. Don’t over think this though. You didn’t focus on the numbers game but you came out ahead. You were smart to choose some solid, quality safeties and you will be better off for it.
Congrats on your foresight. You will do great.