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<p>This! I get that some people don’t really care if they are stylish. I think it’s fun to wear interesting, colorful clothes, have my hair look good and my makeup look nice. I am pretty “natural”, and can often be found in running shorts/skirts and tank tops when not at work. I disagree that politicians don’t color their hair.</p>
<p>When you let your hair go gray, you will always have a natural hair color. </p>
<p>As a result of going gray I have learned there is a kinship-of-sorts among those who have chosen to go gray.</p>
<p>I tend to view my gray-haired contemporaries as more genuine and authentic. I assume we will have more in common making friendship easier.</p>
<p>The best compliment I receive is, “Your hair is beautiful. I wish I had the guts.”</p>
<p>I’m with you, snugapug.</p>
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<p>That goes for the men, too. You gotta admit that Kathleen Sebelius looks pretty good.</p>
<p>My stylist quit doing color (and other processing) after having thyroid cancer. In part, she wanted to down-size her clientele but she also didn’t want to work with all the chemicals anymore.</p>
<p>My mother does NOT like having a gray-haired daughter ~ mother is blonde:) and 90yrs.</p>
<p>For politicians coloring their hair it is often a choice of looking better from far-away and in photographs, which is most important to them.</p>
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<p>That’s nice but you seem to be implying that there is some moral/character superiority to having grey hair which I find a bit sad. I don’t have any plans to display my grey in the near future and I’m surprised that there are those who would find that to be a sign of inauthenticity. Are pedicures bad too?</p>
<p>I do think that DIY haircolor is a real mistake once you pass the age of 45 and it does cost a great deal to go to an excellent colorist but I do think that well-colored hair in a flattering shade is a good investment. In many professions, it may well work against a woman to have naturally greying hair unless she’s one of the rare few whose grey is more of a silver/white shade which is a good compliment to the skin tone. Otherwise, she would look as if she was letting herself go and was less than well groomed.</p>
<p>Oh well, I think the right lipstick does wonders for one’s professional appearance too so I guess there are worse things to be judged for.</p>
<p>I saw that coming. Either way, you’re judging a book by its cover.</p>
<p>I’m with you, Joblue. I thought Snugapug’s remark was pretty sad. If a student said something like that on this forum, we would be all over them! </p>
<p>Some of the most “authentic” and “genuine” women I know have (gasp) used Botox! (not me- too afraid of needles) I think we should start picking our friends based on their willingness to turn away from any appearance enhancement!</p>
<p>I never said ALL politicians, but many female politicians have gray hair.</p>
<p>Just on top of my head: Kathleen Sebelius, Patty Murray, Christine Lagarde, recently Kay Bailey Hutchinson has let her hair go grayer, Ann Richards back in the day, Janet Napolitano, and so on. It certainly seems more common than on other groups, but again, that doesn’t mean I think EVERYONE does.</p>
<p>I loved Ann Richards! But IMO her hair style, not her white hair, actually aged her. I think her hair style was old lady-ish even in comparison to her contemporaries.</p>
<p>Her daughter has gray hair, but a more updated look, clearly colors it, and looks very beautiful. I wouldn’t call her less “authentic” than the next person.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.plannedparenthood.org/images/PPFA/100727-Cecile-Richards-hires.jpg[/url]”>http://www.plannedparenthood.org/images/PPFA/100727-Cecile-Richards-hires.jpg</a></p>
<p>So people who think women who go gray look like they let themselves go are not judgemental, but someone who thinks women with gray look more authentic is? Geez!</p>
<p>The reality is both are as judgemental, because whether we like it or not, we all take cues from other people’s looks: whether they are tall, short, fat, skinny, how they dress, their facial hair, whether they color their hair, and so on. We know it affects your employment chances, etc. That’s why we tell people not to wear jeans to a job interview. Because they will be judged.</p>
<p>Truth is, any decision we make about the way we look will be judged by others. The important thing is to be confortable with how you look, be confident, and be happy.</p>
<p>Salander- your reasoning is flawed.
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<p>It would be more like “If someone goes gray they must not be fun or interesting.” No one has said that. It WAS said that the gray-heads are viewed as more genuine and authentic.</p>
<p>I personally don’t associate going gray with letting oneself go.</p>
<p>However, I find the statement that people who go gray are somehow more “authentic” than those who do not also rather churlish as well, as it seemed to indicate a character issue rather than a purely physical one.</p>
<p>I dye my hair not to look younger, but because my gray is not an attractive color and it would actually make me look older than my true age. I don’t mind looking my age, but I don’t care to look OLDER. If that makes me less “authentic,” so be it. My hair has always been my best feature, and I am told it is beautiful on a daily basis by patients/family at my facility. Most women have something of pride or even vanity about their looks, whether it be their figure, their eyes, hair, what have you. For me, it’s my hair. Shrugs shoulders.</p>
<p>Okay, I’m going to go for 100% authenticity and genuineness. No more: shaving legs and armpits, tweezing eyebrows, makeup, hair products other than shampoo, flat iron, deodorant. And I think I’ll stop inauthentically raising my boobs with a bra. Then I’ll just have to find some like-minded hairy, frizzy, stinky, saggy women as my new friends. Sounds like a plan.</p>
<p>How ridiculous to assume that anyone who doesn’t color their hair is automatically someone you’d prefer as a friend. People shun hair color for all kinds of reasons–some like how they look gray, some just can’t be bothered, some can’t afford it,some are allergic, some have been low maintenance all their lives/aren’t into their appearance. It’s hardly an indicator of personality or character.</p>
<p>Momofwildchild: Read carefully. That wasn’t my comment, it was made by someone else above (several pages before). I just found hypocritical that people thought that wasn’t judgemental, but snugapug’s comment was.</p>
<p>I know how to read and I know that wasn’t your comment. Your REASONING surrounding that comment is flawed. Read carefully.</p>
<p>Where can I find the hairy, smelly friends?</p>
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<p>Cleaning off my computer screen as we speak. :D</p>
<p>Not to belabor the point but not everyones hair turns grey when they hit 50.
( I was a hairstylist so I have an eye for these things)</p>
<p>My hair is still reddish, and the lighter streaks in it make it look like I have it foiled!
I took a close look at the women in my swim class( many of whom are in their 60s, 70’s & 80’s) and most of them don’t color their hair. Out of 25, probably 3 have their hair tinted blond and wear their hair spikey short, 2 color their hair brownish, 10 have brown hair with varying amount of grey, and 10 have hair that is dominantly white or grey.
( another thing I found interesting, now that not so many go for a Brazilian, is that the hair you don’t see doesn’t turn grey on the same time frame)</p>
<p>Then there are 5 women in their 30s, 2 don’t color their hair & 3 color it all the time.
( + at least 10-12 of the women have tattoos, which is interesting because only a couple of the men do- the mens tattoos are military related while the women’s tattoos seem related to their children or grandchildren)</p>
<p>Grey/ white doesn’t mean no maintenance though- white hair does not have any pigment, so it picks up dye from your shampoo or the environment. Yellowing grey hair doesnt look much better than having your roots show.
( I put a tiny bit of oil on my ends before I go in the pool, so far Ive been able to keep it from changing color- plus I don’t actually *swim *, I do water aerobics.)</p>
<p>I suggest putting a filter in your shower, especially if your tap water is undrinkable without filtering. Your skin & hair will thank you.</p>
<p>Some people have grey hair that is attractive and others don’t. I would also say that some of the women with " good" grey, also have help at the salon, because it isn’t unusual for it to turn grey unevenly. Hair color is also much better than when the only options were full of toxic chemicals.
[url=<a href=“http://davidsuzuki.org/issues/health/science/toxics/chemicals-in-your-cosmetics---coal-tar-dyes/]Coal”>The Dirty Dozen: Coal Tar Dyes - David Suzuki Foundation]Coal</a> Tar Dyes | Toxics | Health | Science & policy | Toxics | Issues<a href=“I%20stopped%20doing%20hair,%20because%20I%20developed%20a%20reaction%20to%20the%20amount%20of%20chemicals,%20despite%20wearing%20gloves-I%20could%20have%20continued%20just%20doing%20hair%20cuts,%20but%20chemicals%20are%20where%20the%20$$$$%20is%20;”>/url</a> )</p>
<p>I suspect that Gloria Steinem has help at the salon with her grey hair- am I the only one who didn’t know that she is Christian Bales mother?</p>
<p>When I look in the mirror I see dark brown hair but people assure me and photographs prove that I am way more salt than pepper. I often get compliments on my hair but that may be because my stylist is a genius at the stacked bob.</p>
<p>I don’t think I made myself clear, I apologize about that.</p>
<p>We all take different cues to choose our friends (looks, education, common interests, religion, etc), it’s just that most people never rationalize it. If snugapug uses gray hair as a heuristic about people, that’s her prerogative (just like it’s someone else’s prerogative to disagree with her and choose friends over other attributes). </p>
<p>It’s not better or worse than people who use other cues. We all judge people on their appearances to a certain extent. A lot of research in social sciences has found people become friends with people who are in some respect like themselves. If snugapug doesn’t dye her hair and meets someone else who doesn’t, that gives her a cue that she has something in common with that person, and that she might want to know more about it. </p>
<p>Maybe snugapug struck a cord since a lot of women dye their hair and felt offended, but I think she was just being honest. And others will be more likely to have friends who dye their hair because they are more like themselves and (maybe unconsciously) find that coloring their hair is a heuristic for something or another.</p>
<p>I hope this long post makes any sense. I just wanted to explain what my logic is. If not, well, I am sorry and I give up.</p>
<p>Everyone should do with their hair what they please, and not care so much what others think. If you are comfortable and happy with how you look, you will look great.</p>
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