<p>Adding more positive thoughts - and love, prayers, and a ((hug)) for you. Hoping your dear S will do just what his attorney told him.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven - your courage and strength have been remarkable. What I admire most about you is that you have been able to love your child at his most unlovable moments. You have not excused his actions, but have loved HIM in spite of them. </p>
<p>As for his frame of mind of just being sorry for having been caught - try not to over think things for awhile. Just give yourself time to breathe. You can worry about that next year.</p>
<p>I was just going to write something similar to worknprogress - I think it is very admirable that you can step back and be honest about his culpability, acknowledge he has done wrong and is not perfect, and still love him a million percent. what a great mom you are!</p>
<p>I came here just to see how you’re doing. I love how open you are as to your challenges, which truly helps others like me better cope with what we’re dealing with. Please know that we’re here for you, every step of the way.</p>
<p>My son CALLED from a prepaid phone card this AM. He is fine. He is in an Intake Unit, and doesn’t think he will move to the Central Processing Center until next Tues. There are hours to visit next Tues AM, and I said I would come if he is still there. He said the Intake Unit is boring as there is nothing much to do- BORING is fine by me!</p>
<p>fauxmaven, HUGS.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry for what you are going through, fauxmaven. I hope your son will be able to get the help he needs, and that he will come out of this with many life lessons learned. He is still young, with a lifetime of opportunity ahead of him. Take care of yourself.</p>
<p>Thanks-today I typed in my son’s name in the INMATE LOCATOR to see if this is real. Yes, his name appeared immediately with a permanent ID number and booking number… this is certainly not what I had hoped for!</p>
<p>oh my fauxmaven, you have managed to keep a sharp sense of humor on top of everything! You’re amazing :)</p>
<p>fauxmaven- Thoughts are with you. Part of parenting is always making peace with the child who arrives, rather than the one we had in our heads. I find the way you are navigating this remarkable. How good that you can see the potential opportunity for your son as he faces his sentence. I appreciate your sharing. Best to your family.</p>
<p>I think he will be helped by a parent who is real about his situation , making him accountable and not making excuses. In your writing can picture the whole thing and I feel your sadness. Prayers for you all</p>
<p>Thinking of you fauxmaven. Sending prayers to you and your son. You are a great mom facing an unexpected path. Hang in there. Each day is one day closer to the new beginning.</p>
<p>fuax,</p>
<p>Its like going to college, soon enough they will be graduating and you don’t see or hear from them very often…</p>
<p>A different perspective:</p>
<p>When my brother broke the law he had to get a public defender. He spent 18 months behind bars. My parents visited him exactly 0 times, sent 0 pre-paid calling cards and sent 0 dollars to use in the canteen. When he was released no one met him so he had to take public transportation to get home. (The jail folks gave him about 20$) My parents wanted him to know that his choices did not reflect the values they tried to teach and if he was going to make those choices then he was on his own. I know it was hard for them and there was much hand wringing (in private) but he has never broken the law again.</p>
<p>I think a parent can take a tough love stance and still love their child unconditionally.</p>
<p>fauxmaven, I’ve been thinking of you and yours. I have had occasion to search the inmate locator for a relative who has been in trouble with the law. It’s a weird situation, to be sure. There are fairly extensive resources online that tell you what kinds of things you may and may not send, how you can provide funds for the inmate to spend at the commissary, and details of visiting policies. (I did not visit, as this relative was out of state.) Your son is so lucky to have you for a mom.</p>
<p>Fauxmaven- Thinking about you today.</p>
<p>What thoughts exactly?</p>
<p>FM,
a lot of us have “known” you for a very long time, and we will be with you every step of your journey, as long as you want us to be and in any way you want us to be.</p>
<p>Don’t ever hesitate to pm me.</p>