<p>I’m sitting here with my daughter who is a Wes freshperson, home on fall break, and I read your questions to her. Your list of things that you are hoping for in college seem to correspond 100% to hers, and she is supremely happy at Wes. </p>
<p>One of the most important things that my daughter says is that there is not a big divide between partiers/drinkers and non-partiers/non-drinkers. The kids at Wes are really BUSY with lots of things - and for some of them, that includes the big loud parties and others not. There are lots of performances, lectures, dances, movies, etc to choose from and plenty of time for her in big groups playing games, staying up all night talking, etc. She hasn’t baked cookies yet, but they’ve talked about it. </p>
<p>I say don’t settle for a college culture that you find alienating and unfulfilling - you CAN get an intellectually satisfying academic experience and lots of interesting (rather than stultifying) fun with interesting people at the same time. I say this as a former faculty member from a school that sounds a lot like what you are describing. The students there who were serious about their school work often felt alienated by the frat-dominated social scene, even though their classes were great. There are some frats at Wes, but they don’t dominate and even they are not mostly your sterotypical Animal-House-type scene, though you can find that if you’re looking.</p>
<p>I’m handing the computer over to my D now:</p>
<p>Hi! I was worried about all the same things you were before coming to college. I know I’ve only been here about two months, but so far I’ve had an amazing time at wes and have found all the things that it sounds like you two are looking for, as well as met lots of interesting, creative, fun, and intelligent people. Some of my friends (not all by any means, though), do smoke or drink on occasion, but they’ve never taken issue with the rest of our choice not to do so, and they don’t consider alchohol and drugs to be a major source of fun or entertainment. So far I’ve had a pretty good balance of academic and social life, and I’ve managed to stay up until all hours of the night (and morning) playing games, watching movies, going to shows, exploring middletown, dancing, talking to people, engaging in general (non-chemical-induced) stupidity, and going to parties and events that were outside the let’s-all-get-really-drunk-and-not-remember-it-in-the-morning college norm. I’m sure it’s possible to have the typical party scene experience at wes, if you go looking for it, and equally so to spend all your time holed up in your room studying. But there are definitely plenty of other options here.</p>
<p>Have a good college search and I hope you consider Wesleyan!</p>