OP, what you are experiencing is not unusual. FGLI students and POC experience this kind of discomfort at schools like Wesleyan. And Harvard. And Duke. And Indiana U. In other words, pretty much everywhere. The nature of the what makes you uncomfortable and how it’s addressed may have a slightly different flavor at each, so while one might be a bit better for you, none is likely to be perfect. This isn’t to say it’s okay and everyone couldn’t be doing better, but that you run a risk of leaving the frying pan for the fire.
A couple of thoughts… Are there affinity groups at Wes that can be a community and support for you? Are there any politically active groups that could be allies or that you could align with? Does the school have a formal mentorship program where you can connect with alums who navigated these issues themselves? Try to take advantage of all the resources available to you until you find what works for you.
As you look at transferring, rather than looking at similar schools that might be “more comfortable “, maybe take a look at places that are very different, such as HBCUs or more urban schools (where the local demographics might feel less alien.) It’s really hard to do your best when you’re unhappy, so if you do want to make a change to be comfortable, think about what you need for that. And if you’re looking at LACs, perhaps Haverford would be a better fit than another rural NESCAC.
Reading your account, though, I am optimistic that you may be able to make Wes work. Your good academic relationships may be leveraged into other connections. Give yourself some grace, too. You are adjusting to a LOT at one time - living away from home, college academics, and presumably bring in a community of people very different from what you are used to.
Stay invested in Wes and do what you can to make it better, and explore other options with open eyes and pursue them so you havethat option. Hang in there - you sound like a strong, brave, and determined person.
I doubt that tiny Haverford College would be a good fit for one who dislikes a community dominated by political correctness and lack of diversity of thought. However, the location is wonderful.
OP: If you prefer to remain at a small school, Bowdoin, Hamilton, & Denison might offer a more comfortable environment for you. Nevertheless, a large school might be the best option for you if affordable. Large universities offer tremendous diversity in all respects and nearly countless opportunities academically & socially.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like part of the problem is that she’s not used to being surrounded by FGLI studentswho have learned the hard way that the way to be heard is to become organized politically. That’s tough, if you happen to come from an area of the country where that’s considered transgressive. I know because I’ve been on both sides of the fence throughout my whole life.
I agree with looking at the PA colleges, colleges in Minnesota (Macalester, Carleton, St. Olaf’s), maybe take a look at Scripps as an entry point into the Claremont Colleges.
Given the OP’s experience, applying to a smaller version of Wesleyan doesn’t make sense.
Or switch it up a bit- Brandeis? Holy Cross? A college where the students are more into “helping the community” than they are politically active. Of course SOME students will be- but I don’t believe that either of these two (and of course there are dozens more) have campuses which you’d describe as stridently political.
Im not sure how that’s part of the problem when the OP states:
Despite being a institution that promotes diversity, the lack of diversity of thought whether that be about politics or else is concerning. Additionally, I don’t fit inwith the student culture (overtly political, activist, extraordinarily artsy, and drug-heavy).
Im assuming it’s their personal preference and not lack of familiarity since they’re currently immersed in it and want to transfer.
I think we’re splitting hairs. She’s been at one school one semester and certainly has a right to prefer something that she’s more used to. But what that means is anyone’s guess.
Don’t know if accurate but Wes, Dickinson and Denison are on the list as is Grinnell which surprised me. At many schools, the FGLI are mixed in with the uber wealthy that help keep the doors open as the low income contribute little financially.
I hope OP finds a school for them but wondering about Agnes Scott.the issue at any top school may be getting in as a transfer. I also would look in Vandy (mentioned earlier), Emory and Rice.
You could be right. But Wes and Haverford actually have quite different vibes, in spite of the political correctness element, and the location could make the PC culture feel less oppressive. Just saying that Haverford is probably more different than the rural LACs on the list.
I do think the student needs to find alternatives that will be different, but also obtainable. Will a huge name / rank be obtainable again? If not, where might give a cost that can work.
The OP doesn’t want to stay in-state (home state). I’m not sure but if that state has a public LAC, they may also have a low income scholarship to make it affordable. Then OP can decide - if there are no other options, do I stay put (which sounds like they emotionally couldn’t handle) or that might give a release.
I don’t know the state they are from to know if that’s an option - but if they were a NY resident, maybe a Geneseo with the safety nets NY has or a Ramapo with a NJ safety net, etc.
Thank you for your response and advice! I didn’t apply to any other schools since I applied early decision and got in (as it was my dream school) so unfortunately I am unable to compare packages. I will be putting in apps to larger schools as I figure everything out.
Thank you for your response! I understand how fortunate of a position I am in and so this is not a decision I want to make lightly. I was considering these other schools because I felt that I would vibe more with the type of students they attract based off what I know. Plus, some of my friends do go to the schools listed above so I would already have a pre-established connection on campus. I definitely would have to visit some of these campuses myself over spring break before making a final decision.
Thank you for your kind comment!! I have talked to one of my friends at Harvard and she has also expressed similar concerns. Could you recommend any larger colleges that might be a better fit?
And thank you for your thoughtful, level headed, appreciation. It’s obvious why Wesleyan chose you over so many hundreds of otherED applicants.
But oh, dear. Be careful about following high school friends into college. That doesn’t always work out either. Forgive me if I’m completely off base here - and you can correct me, if I’m wrong - but it doesn’t sound like loneliness is an issue here. Your use of the word vibe suggests something else, perhaps more subtle? You said something else upstream to the effect that you couldn’t see yourself in the future being a proud Wes alum. That to me suggests we’re struggling with identity issues; you see yourself one way and don’t quite see it reflected back when walking around Wesleyan. That’s a perfectly normal feeling; it’s part of growing up; one thing I can almost guarantee you is that you will be a different person by the time you graduate than the one you are now. “Back in the Day”, we used to call that, “The Wesleyan Experience”.
I do think this will be the same at many/most wealthy schools. There will be a divide etc. Many, in fact, have more than 50% full pay. It’s in the south and farther from home, but take a look at Rice. Also look at Grinnell in Iowa.
There is a certain level of - not sure how to say it - but separation in the NE vs other parts.
Houston, the city, has strength in its diversity. Grinnell is in the sticks, but is a top school and very diverse - moreso than top LACs in some situations. Agnes Scott, while small, has a wonderful rep for an inclusive experience. It’s in Atlanta.
Yes, I’m suggesting you check out the possibility of getting out of the Northeast.
Finally, we know you’re low income but what is your yearly contribution. Is it so much that maybe there are some not meets need schools you can afford?
You are correct. The OP did mention the importance of a pleasant, comforting, surrounding and Philadelphia’s Main Line neighborhoods certainly have that. My one caveat is how easily this cohesive Quaker college came apart at the seams during COVID-19 due to a political rally that took place off campus. What struck me was the fact that most of the vitriol took place online. It wasn’t even a matter of people confronting each other face to face and yet it had a profound effect on everyone’s sense of well-being. One could argue the same thing could happen anywhere, but there is something about Haverford that suggests perhaps a certain fragility?
Wesleyan has a lot of things that could use improvement, but I think the kids there understand going in that a certain amount of friction is built into the cultural model. Don’t get me wrong, the kids I’ve managed to observe are very sweet and caring towards each other; I wouldn’t call it an unfriendly place at all, but Wesleyan has never been a place where people sat around a campfire, singing “Goombaya”. To its credit, a lot of human capital in the form of caring faculty and student services have been built up over the generations with those vulnerabilities in mind and I think even the OP would acknowledge that those are among Wesleyan’s greatest strengths.
Then again, there is something to be said in favor of a greater Tri-Co community. Haverford students are not restricted to taking classes on one campus - and there’s nothing quite like having a train station stop all your own.
Echoing @circuitrider note to not count on HS friends if you transfer. My personal anecdote (and of course YMMV) is that I transferred to a college where I had three HS friends. They were incredible when I came to visit the school (put me up, showed me all around, etc.). When I did transfer, they were also lovely – BUT they were in a dorm on the opposite side of campus from where I was placed, they were settled with a friend group at that dorm, and they were immersed in classes in majors different from mine. Bottom line is that we did meet up fairly regularly, they were gracious, kind, and very helpful to my transition, and we stayed friends – but they did not just swoop me up into their lives. I had to work hard (and I got very lucky with my suite-mates) to create my own life at the new school.
