<p>Develop specific coping strategies. </p>
<p>For example, someone I know very well has tremendous anxiety related to choosing food, particularly at an unfamiliar restaurant. This led to avoiding going out, etc. The coping strategy developed was to check the menu beforehand - thank heaven for the internet! - so a choice or two could be made. </p>
<p>In other words, many anxieties aren’t general but are tied to a specific kind of choice or decision or fear. Many people, for example, have public speaking anxieties - and there’s an industry devoted to coping strategies for those. These can spill into fear of being in crowds, which can become fear of parties. Some people have test anxiety and there are strategies for calming down for that. I know someone who always gets a drink not because it’s alcohol - it’s actually not - but because his coping strategy for party anxiety is that the glass in his hand is a prop that puts him into the party context. It is his relaxation crutch. </p>
<p>I think it really helps to see if a person has a general anxiety issue or a specific type of anxiety that shows in specific circumstances. </p>
<p>I saw yesterday a list of 4 things taught to Navy Seals for teaching self-control. It really isn’t appropriate for anxieties - because it’s general and the group in the Seals is already self-selected for personality type. But the idea is there: even a Seal needs a coping strategy. Many of their tests involved just that: like having to come close to drowning in a breath holding test wearing many pounds of equipment. If you get anxious, you bomb out. So you need a coping strategy.</p>
<p>We all do this to various extents. I had to learn how to act normal and still get it wrong much of the time. </p>
<p>And there’s the neat story of the psychiatrist who was examining brain scans of psychopaths and realized his brain scan says he’s a psychopath. And he realized that explained a lot about his life - and likely why so many murderers have been in his family. He has kids. He was raised in a loving family. His parents took him to a counsellor when they saw signs. And now he’s making more of an effort to try to think like others. That’s all a coping strategy but from the perspective of someone who really can’t understand what coping is.</p>