???
Again, do you want a campus with a lot of activities. whether or not they all appeal to you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a political gathering at Wesleyan that numbered more than 200 people, usually because there are just too many other things competing for people’s time and commitment.
I think you have to decide how important having a strong campus sense of community is to you. Tufts has the least. And, though it doesn’t qualify as a city, Middletown CT is not as boring as it sounds; there are opportunities for all kinds of civic engagement and the take-out food, coffee shops, and pizza joints are ubiquitous.
That’s a tough one. Ordinarily, a highly favorable experience from someone you know would not be a disqualifying factor. But, I get not wanting to be joined at the hip with someone just because you are from the same family. All I can say, is Wesleyan is just big enough at 3,000 students that you won’t be entirely dependent on any one person for relationships.
Frankly, it sounds as if you are really leaning toward Wesleyan and are looking for reasons to second-guess yourself.