<p>Correct me if I am wrong but from from the way I am reading this, it is not about purchasing a TV but more so about one roomate wanting to watch TV and the other not being a TV watcher and not wanting a TV in the room. I think this is the real issue that needs to be discussed between the roommates. </p>
<p>MY D has a TV in her room at home (even though she is not a big tv watcher). Her freshman roommate was not a TV watcher, so they decided not to have a TV in the room. She did not miss having a TV in her room becasue it gave her the opportunity to watch TV in the common room with friends (she used to get together with friends to watch desperate housewives & grey’s anatomy every sunday nitght) </p>
<p>Even though freshman year is about adjusting and learning to live with others, a TV can be a bone of contention if one roommate finds it to be a distraction if they are trying to sleep or study (and they don’t feel like leaving the room to do so) and the other likes to have some “noise” in the room.</p>
<p>If the issue is having a TV in the room period, and they can agree to not have one then Thumper’s D can offer to reimburse roommate for one of the other items.</p>
<p>sybbie, IMO, respect for one’s roommate and common courtesy for another person living with you can be worked out, even with a TV. Having two sons who have played video games and listened to music, I can verify that both can be loader than a TV. Hopefully, by this stage of the game, most students have learned to respect others, and have limits regarding the time they spend with various screens etc…</p>
<p>Well…part of the issue is that DD doesn’t really want a TV. Part of the issue is that we live all the way across the country and would prefer not to own a TV on the opposite coast. If we had been making the decisions about who was doing what, we would have rented the fridge and bought a rug (which we would have ditched at the end of the year). BUT at this point, I think it’s not worth a big to do. DD and I will go shopping when we get to the school and buy a small TV. She will have to communicate to her roommate that this is what they will be getting…no DVD/TV combo…just a small TV. And at the end of the year, DD can sell it to her roommate :)</p>
<p>Just an odd thing…DS is a college senior living in an apartment with two others. They have made the decision not to get a TV at all. It must be the way my kids are wired!!</p>
<p>It might still be worth gently asking her roommate how important the TV is to her. The roommate might just be assuming that your D would want one in the room. It might be worth your D mentioning that she really does not watch much television, and just asking her roommate if she even watches TV. If her roommate does not watch either, then your D can always offer to pay for one of the other items that were already purchased.</p>
<p>Thumper: Wow, your kids move in late. The thing is, I never had a talk with any of my kids about this subject. Geesh. I messed up. I mean, have one/don’t have one, consideration for others study habits, do you want your room to be a congregation place, can you just use it for important events. I never even brought any of this up. But I did notice how cozy all the lounges are on campus, some with tables to spread out projects, all quiet.One huge tv in the student rec center. Why didn’t I think about this before. </p>
<p>Son is bringing more than his share for use by roommate. But that’s okay for us. Who cares. </p>
<p>Why don’t we all live like the Amish.
you mean like ending formal education after 8th grade?</p>
<p>we went for several years without a tv- we only have one now. My daughter didn’t have a tv for the 4 years that she was at college, and I don’t think she has one now.
Not everyone likes them & to some the noise can be disruptive</p>
<p>There’s a lot to be said for simply letting the kids resolve it on their own. My daughter and roomie bought a t.v. together – I don’t know who paid or if they split the cost, or how they plan to resolve ownership over the tv in the end. I don’t care. I know “they” also bought an area rug (again, I don’t know who paid), and I know that roommie said she would provide the frig. I decided to let my d. manage her own finances during the school year - she will pay for room furnishings, incidentals, books, etc. – I just pay the tuition + room & board. Between graduation gift money from various relatives and her summer earnings, she’s definitely got enough for the basics and to make it through the semester. But if I was going to give her money, then I’d give her a lump sum and let her figure out what to do with it.</p>
<p>When she flew out, I gave her $100 cash before she left, and told her that Super Shuttle from the airport would cost $20, but a cab would cost $45. She asked me whether I <em>wanted</em> her to use Super Shuttle. I replied, “I don’t care, it’s your money. I just gave you more than enough for either. You decide how much you want to have left over.” She chose Super Shuttle.</p>
<p>I figure the room thing is the same way – if it’s her money, she’ll spend what she thinks is fair and reasonable, and make decisions based on her own wants and needs. </p>
<p>I do think it’s unfortunate when one roommate makes decisions and then demands something from the other – maybe its time for the demanding roommate to learn that discussion needs to take place in advance. But again, I’d leave it to the kids to work out.</p>
<p>Calmom…you have given me a great suggestion. I’m going to put this in DD’s lap…including the purchase of the TV with her money. We too are paying for all the other costs of attendance, and she is supposed to be paying for everything else. Truthfully, if she is paying for this she will be more vested in solving this issue. So…I’m done!! Whoo hoo.</p>
<p>Yes, Calmom, definitely has the right idea. I thought this was more of a question of contributing something to the room vs. contributing nothing. Unfortunately, your D’s roommate set it up to be this way by purchasing everything except the TV, and then discussing it after the fact.</p>
<p>S and his suitemates bought a used $40 TV last year. I don’t believe any parents were consulted or asked to pay for it. As I posted earlier, they seem to enjoy watching it together. I thought they’d get rid of it at the end of the year, but no, we were asked to store it. </p>
<p>It’s a good idea to let your D handle it. Even if she does decide to buy a TV after all, it should not be such a huge expenditure.</p>
<p>I found that most things worked best for freshman son when we stayed out of it. There were times when I felt he was spending money in ways I didn’t think he should, but it was his money he was wasting. He did finally figure out how to ask people to pay for their share of things, but I also know he benefited from the generosity of others at times. It really does seem that most things resolve themselves equitably. That’s why I suggested just going along with the TV thing. It’s small potatoes, and it doesn’t seem like something worth getting off on the wrong foot with the new roomie over.</p>
<p>I just wanted to point out that the “at home we have a tv in the family room and not in the bedroom” argrument doesn’t hold too much water, IMO. When you have one room, it’s the bedroom, the family room, the living room, and the den. And lots of people definitely come together in one room to watch things on TV that they are all interested in. Having a tv in the room doesn’t mean the kid will be watching it by themselves.</p>
<p>You could also make the argument that text books aren’t necessary, since most likely they are available at the library. Less convienent, but so is not having a fridge to have a cold drink when you want. You don’t walk to the 7-11 when you want a glass of water in the middle of the night do you? You don’t need a carpet, but you have a carpet in your bedroom and living room at home probably.</p>
<p>i personally NEED my tv…I’m a poli sci major so I pretty much have to watch all the major news networks…and often my only opportunity to do so is at 1am when they are doing repeats of the days news and when I would be uncomfortable staking out in someone elses room…also, I use my tv for study breaks b/c you just get tired of reading…in addition, students will often be required to watch films, news stories, etc for classes and will need their own tv. As far as carpet goes, why is everyone making such a big deal about it? You have carpet in your house, so i think that pretty much goes as a need…and as a tea drinker…I need my microwave! Now wants include computer games, gaming systems, posters, decorations, etc…plus, as a junior, I would have hated having to depend on other peoples ‘generosity’ on the hall to watch tv…i believe the word moocher comes to mind!</p>
<p>sons update on dorm room amenities after two weeks:
TV gets used mostly for video games.Mormon roomate whose Mom decided no TV for him is so grateful as he is the bigger “gamer” of the two.Fridge getting a workout as the weather is so hot and humid.Bought S a Brita pitcher to break his (expensive) bottled water habit and its working.He collected free Nalgene water bottles from the student organizations handing them out during Orientation week,peeled off the labels they had affixed.He also appreciates the store of breakfast type products we bought as he mad dashes out his door for class.Has only purchased one breakfast and that was a smoothie.Roomate likes to bake and has supplied S and floormates with cookies and brownies.
For the first away football game ,televised on ESPN on the night of Enersto’s visit to S Carolina ,they dragged the biggest TV(not S’s) into the common room to watch,as the common room now has a fish tank instead of a TV.So the argument of watching in the common room instead of having a TV in a dorm room wouldnt work in this particular dorm …theres only one common room.There is however, a room with a pool table next to the laundry room in the basement which it seems has been getting a good workout.</p>
<p>I like CalMom’s suggestions. We, too, have taken a step back - we pay for the apt and utilities, as well as books (has scholarship for most of tuition), but S2 pays for everything else via his work-study. Since he doesn’t make a lot, he tends to be frugal. (We will jump in if/when we feel he isn’t eating well enough!) </p>
<p>We didn’t have a TV in Germany - why buy a TV and pay the TV tax and arrange cable or satellite (only way there to get anything) when we won’t understand anything? My H watched the news every evening - on his computer (in English). I preferred to read my news, also on the computer. We used Internet radio as well, to listen to Atlanta news. And used our computer to watch DVDs. It can be done. </p>
<p>Clearly need vs. want is individual. Giving kids a set amount of money and letting them make the decisions helps them define need / want themselves, lets them grow up a bit, and reduces the headaches of the parental unit. My S1 did not “need” a TV, a rug, or most of the other things in this thread. He had an enormous need for a cusom guitar, wah wah pedal, new speakers, etc… He found out early on that the easiest way to make friends is to practice in the dorm room with the door open.</p>
<p>He went to school in Philly, and yes, dumpster diving was the norm. In fact, when he moved out, he set the stuff that still had life in it slightly to the side of the other garbage, to make it easier for those “shopping.”</p>
He found out early on that the easiest way to make friends is to practice in the dorm room with the door open.</p>