“You should try to spend equal amounts on the children. If you give one child $100,000, then you should give the other child a like amount.”
I’ve had to spend substantially more on healthcare needs for one kid than the other, but I don’t plan to equalize that out.
Just because I’m nice like that, I bought a plane ticket for one kid to go to Europe over spring break. Other kid had other plans. So be it.
D’s clothing cost more than S’s because she’s a girl. If I go and buy her a few new pairs of shoes, I don’t need to equalize S. They’re both taken care of. Otoh, I just bought S a very expensive wool coat. D’s wool coat isn’t as nice, but it’s perfectly fine. Both kids need vision correction but D’s contacts cost more than S’s glasses. You can drive yourselves bonkers keeping it all equal. So I don’t.