@Cue7, IMO some anxiety is going to be inevitable because the stakes are so high. Elite college education will typically have tremendous benefits associated with it. So it’s understandable to be anxious come decision time, but some common sense measures can help minimize the sense of feeling that things are spiraling out of control. First, understand those stakes and that getting into even one elite institution is very small. So plan for that. Second, know which schools are your “right fit” in terms of culture, philosophy and interest. Those are more likely to accept you. Third, have backups that work for you (since you are more likely than not to end up at one of them). Fourth, select a safety that you really like so that it’s not the end of the world if you happen to end up there; apply early if possible (eg a state flagship) so you have at least one college admission out of the way by winter break. Fifth, do not get overly attached to any of these schools; they are not reciprocating to the same degree (even those that have accepted you) and Sixth, have a plan for commitment so that come May 1 you can move on rather than hang around some waitlist.
Also, if you are deferred or W/L and wish to attend, let your AO know that as soon as possible.
Once you’ve done your best, it’s time to sit back and see what happens. Try to cultivate a sense of wonder or curiosity about this whole process. You will have learned so much by the end of it!