Good luck whatever you do. You will have career prep at the Naval Academy. That’s not a given at UCLA.
If the $45k were too much but the Naval Academy isn’t right, do you have cheaper engineering options? If not are you open to cheaper where you can still apply?
It’s tough - kids are pushed a certain way and that’s clearly uncomfortable for you. Have you told them ?
UCLA is great but there are cheaper options - potentially $20k or less if you have a great test score - that will get you to the same place. Perhaps that’s a fair compromise ?
Best of luck whatever you decide.