<p>We had a little meeting of the senior people overseeing the two and the boss and decided to make it clear that in the office excessive chit-chat and long lunches are not acceptable. There are no rules against dating.</p>
<p>I dunno…how about saltpeter in their milk? It was always a rumor they did this to us. (to minimize distractions, you know)</p>
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<p>mini - you were right, the supply room is still ok. Just minimize the chitchat and lunch duration.</p>
<p>Since your boss is presumably an influential manager in your organization and the male trainee’s ultimate boss as well, I think you need to have a heart to heart with the lad. It’s not illegal, it may not be against the official policy, but something about the way these young things are are carrying on in the office has a higher up raising his/her eyebrows and that reaction needs to be reacted to. </p>
<p>I’d take YOUR trainee out to coffee (out meaning out of the office) and tell him off the record that he needs to tone the Romeo-role down a notch because someone in the corner office thinks he should. In otherwords, affect a separation of church and state. You don’t need to name names or give specifics; just let him know that he’s come to the attention of management in an unfavorable light.</p>
<p>The other advice I’d give him would be to absolutely avoid use of e-mail – office or personal – to transmit affectionate thoughts. </p>
<p>When I think back to the last ice age when I was just starting my career I cringe to think of some the stupid behavior I was guilty of. When older, more experienced people took me aside and explained the lay of the land I was able to correct course. I may have been embarassed and defensive at the time, but in the long run I appreciated their advice.</p>
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<p>I work in the legal industry. Never put ANYTHING into your work email that you don’t want handed over in a legal case someday. My fellow employees and I keep gmail or something similar open in a browser for any personal email. I never use my personal email for business, and never use my business email for personal use.</p>
<p>Why do you assume the male is the aggressor. Times have changed.</p>
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Actually I didn’t assume that the male was the aggressor. In my mind’s eye I was imagining just the opposite in fact. I just thought that you should take YOUR intern under your proverbial wing and warn him about what others, especially senior management, were seeing and talking about. It take two to tango and even if your guy isn’t the initiator he’s guilty by association.</p>
<p>From my own experience decades ago I would say that it’s possible that he doesn’t appreciate how visible and culpable his reactions are.</p>
<p>As long as it’s not interfering with their work…</p>
<p>“in most companies, employees dating or even living together is not a problem unless one is the other’s supervisor”</p>
<p>Yes. If they’re peers, it’s no problem. That being said, plenty of companies in my industry don’t interfere when partners get involved with junior lawyers or staff.</p>