Tell your parents you are going to pay for the deposit for ISU today. Ask them for their credit card to do so. Now its getting real and they will have to make a decision if you can go there. If they will not, then you have your answer.
fyi, many parents are changing their minds about how far they want their kids away from home now due to the pandemic. Even though it doesn’t sound like this to us about your parents, you won’t be the first kid that will stay instate for college this year.
The bonus is…no matter what…your going to a good college.
I made a proposal to my parents to meet them halfway. I said I can lay things out for my treatment to be done at the university by contacting the proper people and I can find ways to get home and pay for my own transportation, and pay for any other additional fees. They did sound fairly happy with the proposal, but they said they will take a few days to think about it. If they are happy with it I should be fine and set to go to Iowa State.
Good news! We came to the agreement with what I said in my last post and my parents added that if I call once a week they would be fine. They still seemed slightly concerned, but a bit better since we’ve started trying to lay things out. Thank you for everybody’s suggestions and helping me get things straightened out!
Congrats! I hope you have a great experience at Iowa St. Tks so much for coming back with your updates and kudos to you and your parents for talking it through and working it out.
Nice negotiations!! Congratulations on Iowa State. I think your really going to enjoy it. A parent pro tip : once our settled in maybe like FaceTime or the like and show them your room and surroundings. They will see you made a great decision for yourself.
If they’re into Facebook there’s a really good parent’s page sponsored by the school. It’s a super tight knit community with lots of local parents that go the extra mile to help out parents of students who are far from home.
OP. ^^^^ look into this Facebook group even for yourself or see if @cshell2 knows of one for the students. You might need a ride back to Chicago or help with something right? Lots of Chicago /Illinois kids going to Iowa State.
I am also definitely going to take advantage of their Facebook ride share. My parents liked the idea of that. Once again, thank you everybody for helping me out!
As a current senior at iowa state university, I know a lot of people come here from Chicago/Illinois because of the fact that out-of-state tuition is cheaper at Iowa State than in-state tuition in Illinois. I am from Iowa and my dad did his masters at Iowa State as an international student from India so I may be biased but Iowa State is a very nice school and a very beautiful campus.
My son is a junior Cyclone in aero engineering currently on a COOP in Seattle for an aero engineering company and it happened because of his enrollment at Iowa State.
The positive support he has gotten from professors to TAs to campus organizations, the campus layout, size, diversity, location, beauty rival any large university in the country. It is also a very safe and secure campus with very low risks in all aspects of a college environment.
Even the out of state tuition is well within range of ANY Illinois college especially with the grants and scholarships Iowa State offers, that and the higher level of academic exposure you will receive really makes the decision to enroll at ISU easy. The academics advantages will be realized if your student puts the work in once on campus.
Alright, so I have been here over a month now and thought I should give an update about how things are going.
There are a lot of things that I really like here and then there are a lot of things that I really don’t like.
Let’s start with the positive things. The campus is indeed very nice. Since moving in, the weather here has been very nice. There have only been a few rainy or cloudy days.
It is easy to get around campus and get to classes. The food at the dining centers are better than I expected, 4.5/5. I also really like my professors since they seem to genuinely care about my success.
Now for the bad. Since moving here, I have made only 2-3 new friends, and it is a stretch to even call these people my friends, as I haven’t really hung out and done things with them since meeting them. I have been hanging out mostly with my 2 close high school friends that go here, and even when I do hang out with them, it is only once or twice a week.
I live in one of the suite style dorms, and I live in a single suite, so I am by myself for most of the day. There is nobody that lives in the single suite next door, so I get very lonely most days.
So the loneliness+very few friends=homesickness. One of my fears over the summer was that I would struggle to make friends and end up being lonely, and I hate to say that this is becoming true. I will admit, the homesickness isn’t awful, but I’m probably not as happy as I would like to be.
I don’t know. I feel as though I expected more from this. I know covid doesn’t help the situation, but I just hate being this damn lonely. I joined the run club here since I did cross country and track in high school, and I’ve tried talking to people in the club, but I just can’t seem to make friends with anyone.
So, the thought of transferring has been on my mind for the past few weeks. I still think it is way too early to decide, but if things don’t start improving, I might resort to that.
Glad there are some good aspects… and sorry for the bad parts, which are certainly made harder because of covid.
Try joining a club where you do things together that require talking with others - clubs where you volunteer somewhere or do something tend to be more conducive to making friends.
Or see if any committee is recruiting, whether for choosing films or student activities or any sort of planning committee.
If you speak a foreign language or are enrolled in Foreign Language Level 3 or above, join that language’s club, perhaps the Language table.
Could you create a weekly or biweekly “virtual study group” for a class?
Ask your RA if s/he could organize sth for freshmen: after all, that’s part of his/her job!
I’m so sorry! Being in a single, while it seems attractive for obvious reasons, is not always the best choice for freshman who might feel a little isolated.
Please know that the way you are feeling right now is very normal in a typical year and I’d imagine it’s a lot worse this year. There are a lot of people who are feeling a lot like you do. It might not seem that way to you, because you don’t see those people. You notice the people who seem to be having fun and connecting with others.
I would encourage you to continue to put yourself out there. Talk to people, join clubs, etc. Make whatever connections you can. Don’t worry about making your best friends, just focus on any connections right now.
I’m still on the Iowa State parent board even though my son chose a different school, and I’ll tell you that what you’re going through is not unusual, there are a lot of students struggling this year with the isolation, online classes and lack of school organized activities. On the other hand, there are a lot that are thriving and having a great time. I think the key is getting involved in a club or study group to meet people.
Being in a single is tough. My son could have got a single for the same price as a double with all the students bailing on living on campus and it seemed very attractive during covid times, but we decided for freshman year it would have been a bad idea. At least with a double he’s got his one “built in” friend from the get go.
Your feelings are normal. reread what you wrote. You Like the food, professors, classes and your talking to a few kids. Well… Welcome to college ??. Your also participating in a few things. That’s great. The first year is an ackward time and especially now. With transferring classes night not cleanly transfer and any merit might be gone. It’s a great school. Give it a year. No one has like tons of friends. Try to get to know 1-2 people. That is a good start. Join activities, go to online stuff to get to know people then maybe meet in person, safely.
So another month has gone by and not so many things have changed. Some days I still feel really lonely being by myself and think about the “what ifs.” I haven’t really made any new friends, but more like acquaintances if I’m that desperate to really talk to somebody. The only friends I have are my 2 high school friends. And what’s worse is that one of them is going to be transferring next year. I don’t know what things will be like then without him.
I looked into joining some more clubs but what stinks is that all of the ones I’m interested in are only meeting through zoom, which just doesn’t feel the same as in-person clubs. I am in the run club which they do meet in-person, but I just don’t feel connected to the people as much as I thought I would.
I don’t know, maybe this was a bad decison given the covid situation. Some days I wonder if UIC would have actually not have been such a bad choice. Yes, I know that a lot of students are commuters and that the campus is “dead” after a certain time, but given the fact that I could just hop on the train and come home any time sounds wonderful to me right now. I could visit all my old friends and xc and track teammates; people who really care about me.
And not only that but the culture. I just don’t think I like the culture of the students here. I don’t know what it is but it seems like everybody here just wants to party and stuff every weekend. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable since I’m not really a party person. A lot of days I feel out of place as well as like I don’t fit in.
So the thought of transferring has been on my mind the last week. I haven’t really told anybody except my 2 friends. I don’t know how to tell my parents though. I haven’t talked to my dad since moving in and I call my mom once every week and I tell her things are going fine, but I just don’t know.
Is it normal to feel like this? Should I look into other schools? I don’t think I’ll want to go through 4 more years of this.
If you are not into campus partying, then Iowa State probably is not the best choice for you from a social standpoint. A better option might be attending a school in an urban area. (Just reaffirming what you now know.)
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