You are very articulate and ask really intelligent questions. I am very inspired reading about your desire to teach, and about the teachers you currently have who are such great role models.
A state school program can often be really good for music ed.
Wherever you apply, your hard work for grades and scores will be appreciated.
There are many good schools for you to consider…check out Colleges that Change Lives for some interesting colleges and see which ones have BM’s and/or music ed, just for starters. People on here can suggest specific schools with a little more information. Music schools and conservatories are possibilities: I have a feeling you would do well on a campus that has a broad spectrum of studies and interests, even if you are focusing on music.
You seem very mature and well able to do some of the investigating suggested above.
good luck!