Vacations from hell

Parent Cafe
41

Went to Jamaica on honeymoon, (Ex) H the type who never burns. I told him I was getting sunburnt, but he insisted we went to Jamaica and we should snorkle for hours. Spent the rest of the week with 2nd degree burns over my back :frowning:

3 American flights to Hawaii–next H–they let some nut job shuffle cards (where one makes the bridge and they kerflunk down) over and over for 6 hours. It was a huge flight and the rest of us were going nuts, but they wouldn’t do anything about him. Flight back–they “lost” our confirmed seat numbers, boarded us last, and split all 5 of us up. I got the seat next to rear bathroom and they ran out of food. How do they “run out” when they know how many passengers are on board??

Next flight leg–their entire computer system goes down and we sit on the plane on tarmac in Dallas for 6 hours–no drinks, no restroom.

Never. again. American Airlines…

42

We went snorkeling off of Cozumel once. There were about ten of us. The guides took us out in a boat and we all jumped into what turned out to be very, very strong currents. We all thought we were about to drown and we had a couple of young children with us (8 year olds). My mother-in-law tore a tendon in her foot trying to swim. We all got back safely in the boat and they asked us if we wanted to snorkel some more. Ah, no. On shore, we were suppose to go to a local restaurant for lunch; however they drove us all over so that we could eat at their cousin’s restaurant. The trip was fun but that day was hellish.

43

We’ve had mishaps on vacations that included broken ribs on ski trip in Austria; half our party coming down w food poisoning in Thailand; or scorpions in our hotel room in Bali. But one particular vacation really stood out for disaster.

We decided to do a Mediterranean cruise with a 3 y.o. and an 18 m.o. – I know, I know… WHAT were we thinking…

The woes started before we even got on the ship. We booked airline tix late, so we ended up w seat assignments on opposite sides of a plane that was fully booked. I ended up in the middle seat of a 5-seat bank, sitting next to strangers, and holding a toddler on my lap as a lapbaby, for a 7 hour flight. I thought at the time that that was bad. Little did I know how good I had it.

Things started to unravel on the cruise. Inside the ship’s elevator, S1 (the 3 y.o.) had his hands on the elevator door. When the doors open, his little hand went with the door, sliding into the door jamb. We SCREAMED and SCREAMED for help, but couldn’t get his trapped hand out. Eventually the door released to close, and out popped his hand with it. Hand was bruised, but otherwise OK.

Then on a shore leave we decided to skip the pricey group tour and go on our own. On the train to Florence, S1 put his hand on the automatic sliding door, and SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN. His finger got squeezed in the door jamb—Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! (this hapless, door-challenged child eventually grew to make NMF, so not irredeemably brainless). After that, we wouldn’t let him near any automatic doors.

Things were pretty uneventful on the cruise until the third to last night. A water main broke in the wall outside our cabin, and several cabins got flooded, including ours. Everything on the floor of our cabin was soaked. The ship was fully booked, so there were no other rooms for us to move to. The ship’s staff mopped up our floor best they could, but for the remainder of the trip, everything was damp and mildewed smelling. By then, we were ready to go home.

The pièce de résistance came on the flight home. We switched planes in CDG, and boarded the trans-Atlantic flight to JFK. This time our family happily got seated together.

There was group of young people sitting in the row behind us. The guy sitting behind me was knocking back the free liquor, bottle after bottle after bottle. Then for dinner, he opted for the chicken in cream sauce… ticking time bomb…

Halfway through the flight when lights were out and passengers were asleep, I heard this terrible, loud gurgling noise behind me. Then suddenly, projectile force vomit hit the back of my headrest, some of the splatter landing on the top of my head. The passengers all around started gagging because of the stench and slimy debris. The flight attendants did their best to wipe up the masticated chicken chunks with airplane blankets, but only succeeded in grinding the wet, fragrant slime deeper into the seat fabric.

For the 4 hour reminder of that full flight, I sat w vomit in my hair, holding S2 lapbaby. Everyone was nauseated by the smell and visual spectacle. So as the plane was landing, S1 vomited on himself. We peeled off his clothes and wrapped him up in an AirFrance blanket (we still have that blanket—ironic souvenir). In JFK baggage claim, everyone was looking daggers at that idiot vomit guy.

S1 is heading off to college this fall with both his hands, but every place we travel and encounter a sign like this, we snicker and send a photo of it to him:
http://www.fluentin3months.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/elevator_japan_ow.jpg

There are no bad flights now.

44

On an int’l flight last week, the check-in agent offered, “Hey, would you like to try the VEGAN MEAL? We have a passenger who ordered it, and cancelled today.”

Being curious, I said “sure!”

Lol, the VEGAN MEAL turned out to be a pitiful-looking, dry, half a pita with 3 slices of tomato and a slice of cucumber. If I ate a dinner like this everyday, I’d be the size of a rabbit.

45

I hope they paid you to eat the VEGAN MEAL.

46

Bugs and kids! LOL. Mine grew up to become a biologist. Still hates roaches and is suspicious of car rentals in HI! :slight_smile:

47

@lje62 I think you’re heroic for staying with the in-laws. I’d make up some story and stay at a hotel. Your hubby will owe you big time after this next stay. For every day you stay with his parents, request a day at a spa.

@Onward Many of us have done questionable things in Mexico. (Parasailing anyone?) DH and I were traveling with our 3-year old daughter once, and decided to take a water taxi to our island destination instead of the ferry, for which we’d have to wait an hour. The water taxi turned out to be a dingy with a giant motor that tipped the front of the boat way up. It traveled so fast, I had to hang on to our suitcase, while DH hung on to our child. It was pitch black. It was windy. Shark infested waters. When we got to the island my husband and I just looked at ourselves… WHAT ON EARTH WERE WE THINKING?

48

Day one of a week-long stay at Cape Cod, where we rented a house with a pool:

In the morning, DS (then 3), excited to try out the pool, dashed across the wooden decking and then screamed like a banshee. He had literally hundreds of splinters in a swath across the bottom of his foot. We rushed him to the nearby fire station, where the EMT on duty started to say, “Oh, a splinter? We can take care of that,” then blanched when he saw the extent of the problem and sent us to a walk-in clinic in town. At the clinic, the doc tried for an hour to extract the splinters as I held my screaming child (in retrospect, I don’t know why they didn’t use novocain), then threw up her hands and said,“Just have him run around on the sand a lot and go in the salt water and they’ll work their way out eventually.” (They did, eventually, but really didn’t even bother him at all by the next day.)

Hoping to find a little fun and start right out on that medical advice, we decided to head to the beach in the afternoon. We packed up the car, arrived, set up the umbrella and other paraphernalia–and the heavens opened. It had been perfectly sunny when we left the house 10 minutes earlier.

That evening H and I left the kids with our nanny and ran off to a movie in an attempt to salvage something from the day. As we left the theater, H backed out of the parking spot and rear-ended the car parked behind us, doing considerable damage to both vehicles.

Two days later:

Our rental had included a boating excursion. On the way to the dock, we stopped for sandwiches to bring on board. I stayed in the car, hung my arm out the window, and got stung by a bee. A half-hour into what was to be a relaxing, three-hour long expedition, the boat’s motor died AND the radio failed (probably had never worked to start with). We listened to the ear-splitting sound of the SOS horn for 30 minutes before we finally got noticed and were towed back to shore.

Will try to post later on a memorable trip to Montreal.

49

Not sure that I can top @GMTplus7 but here goes:

We made a trip one June from LA to NYC with 4 year old S and 2 year old D to attend my sister’s wedding. We planned 5 days in NYC with my family then a drive up to the Finger Lakes region of New York where we would spend 5 days with H’s family in their cabin on one of the Finger Lakes.

On the plane and halfway to NYC both kids developed fevers. By the time we landed, they were sweaty, crying messes and H and I were not far behind. What I had envisioned as a nice few days for S and D to get to know my family and participate in the wedding (ring bearer and flower girl) was in actuality, five days of nursing kids through colds and trying to prevent meltdowns because they were tired, hungry, totally off their schedules and out of their element in all the adult wedding activities going on around them. The wedding day arrives and I am hopeful the kids will cooperate. During the processional they started down the aisle together but halfway to the altar, D got scared, turned and bolted for the back of the church where I was while S, left by himself started after her but changed his mind, turn and ran up the aisle to where H was sitting in the front pew. Oh and he actually tossed (okay threw) his satin pillow to my mom. Not exactly the start to her wedding my sister was anticipating…

Two days later we left in a rental car, both kids in the car seats, to make the five hour drive to upstate New York. We were crossing the Tappan Zee bridge when S became carsick and threw up his entire breakfast of fruitloops all over himself and all over D. Both kids are crying, I’m yelling at H to pull over and he is yelling back that he can’t pull over on the bridge. Finally, we get off the bridge, pull over and proceed to clean up the kids and the car. Let me just say that partially digested fruitloops are disgusting and as in GMTplus7’s story, there was really no way to clean the upholstery. Best we could do was wipe it up and just roll down the windows to deal with the smell…

We arrived at the lake where H’s mother had dinner waiting and had a pleasant evening. After the kids were in bed and asleep I took a bottle of beer out to the end of the dock where I sat and looked at the stars, thinking that perhaps the second half of our vacation would actually be fun. But it was not to be…

The next morning H was in the kitchen chatting with his mother. I wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation but started listening when they began to raise their voices. MIL was insisting that the major financial institution where her investments were held had not sent a statement in months and H was equally insistent that they must have. H finally went to look for the statement in her desk, sure she had just misplaced it. And that was when we discovered she had completely given up on any and all financial management. Bills that had gone to collection were stuffed under the desk blotter next to pension checks that should have been deposited months ago. H’s two siblings arrived just in time for the electricity to be cut (cause the bill hadn’t been paid) and the next five days were spent trying to unravel the giant mess. Major recriminations all around and it took all four adults to get things straightened out and a plan for going forward.

Finally, finally, we get on the plane in Syracuse, ready to head back to LA. I really thought the worst was behind us but no, we had to stop in Chicago and were delayed on the tarmac 2 hours before we could take off for LA. S fell asleep but D would not and about 30 minutes from LA had a major meltdown that I just couldn’t stop. Because of our delay in Chicago I was out of snacks, juice, toys, anything that could have distracted her. The seat belt sign was on so I couldn’t get up. She only stopped crying when we walked off the plane.

Family members have always said we will look back on that trip and laugh one day, but it’s been 18 years and I’m not laughing yet…maybe I need another 18 years…

50

@SyrAlum

Lol, my vomit misadventure was only beige.
:-&

51

Wow, it’s kinda hard to top some of these horror stories. They make our misadventures in Maine seem rather tame.

We rented a cabin on the ME/NH border months in advance, but owner contacted us when the cabin burned down in March. It should have been an omen to GO SOMEWHERE ELSE, but we were too stubborn to heed the warning. So we rented another cabin not far from the burned-down cabin.

The night before we drove 600 miles from VA to ME, I was at the emergency care until midnight with 9-yr old S1 running a battery of lab tests to determine what was causing a mystery fever & illness. Tests came back negative, so we left for vacation the next morning with insurance card in hand.

We arrived after dark & managed to find our new rental cabin by flashlight after driving repeatedly up & down the road. It turned out that the cabin was located 10 feet behind an embankment off a main route frequented by most of the Harley Davidsons in Maine on the weekends and the majority of logging trucks on the weekdays. There was always something rumbling past just a few feet from our bedroom window. The cabin was also partially unfinished and very different from what was depicted in the photos. S1 threw up his breakfast every morning, but rallied to go swimming or exploring. By mid-afternoon, however, the poor kid was shot & our day trips were limited.

After a week in the cabin, we drove from western ME to Bar Harbor, where we set up a tent at a campground in Acadia National Park. S1 became increasingly lethargic and we ended up in the emergency room of Mt Desert Island Hospital, where he stumped a parade of doctors until the attending physician finally diagnosed him with an enlarged spleed and mononucleosis. (I’m pretty sure that 9-yr olds DONT get mono from kissing girls, who still have cooties at that age). S1 was admitted to the hospital over night & DH stayed with him, while S2 & I returned to the campground.

In the middle of the night, 6-yr old S2 woke up with abdominal pains & vomiting. I drove 30 minutes from the campground back to the hospital, only to be told that S2 had food poisoning & we had to return to the campground. Little S2 helped me pack up the tent & campsite the next morning, we drove to the hospital to pick up DH & S1 after he was discharged, and slowly made our way back home. It was the first time I prayed for a vacation to end.

That was 18 years ago. We can now laugh about this as one of our most memorable vacations.

52

This is a great thread. Thanks for starting it, @katliamom, and sorry about your horrible vacation. I’m sure it will be hilarious to you in 10 years or so!

My story is about a flight from hell, although the vacation wasn’t so hot, either. We were flying from Boston to Newport News, VA to take my MIL to Colonial Williamsburg for her birthday. Because of a freak nor’easter, we were the last flight out of Boston that morning. The storm was severe enough to cause Boston Marathon officials to consider cancelling the race, scheduled for that day. (It was eventually held.)

It was one of the scariest, bumpiest plane rides I have ever taken. People were puking all over the plane. I pulled my purse up onto my lap because the teenage boy in front of me was vomiting and the puddle was slowly moving back toward me. No one in my family got sick, but we were all queasy and might have been sick if the ride had lasted a minute longer.

After circling the airport for an hour, we were diverted to Richmond, VA and then bused to Newport News. And then our vacation, and my MIL’s rude, entitled behavior began.(This would require an entirely different post, much too long!) My daughter, who was nearly 12 at the time, got her first period, then announced that she had forgotten to pack any underwear. She was weepy the entire time.

The weather was uncharacteristically horrible (the storm affected weather all down the east coast for almost a week.) And oh, yeah, it was super expensive. But the food was great.

53

@powercropper, tent camping is never, ever fun. Well, it is in theory, but for this middle-aged body, when it comes down to sleeping on the bumpy ground, the reality is somewhat different.

54

A bug story: some friends of ours won two stays at a cabin in a park in Oklahoma (we lived in TX at the time.) They used one stay and gave the other to us. We should have been suspicious. Within a few minutes of arriving at the cabin, we were setting up a portable crib for our son and an air mattress for our daughter, and out of the chimney walks a massive, hairy spider. It may have been a tarantula. It was the size of a man’s fist. DH swept it out the door with a broom. We all slept in the double bed. Well, some people slept. I stayed on guard against toddler-eating spiders.

55

@massmomm, your story took this thread to new heights. Scary plane rides are just plain scary… nothing funny about them even years later. Toddler-eating spiders, OTOH, now that’s funny! :wink:

56

I have a flight from hell that was a return from a pleasant west coast vacation.My non-stop San Diego to Chicago flight at 4pm on some now-bankrupt cattle car airline was cancelled and replaced with an 8pm , one-stop-in-Vegas flight. Ok, slight delay. No biggie. Switched planes in Vegas, and sat on the runway for 45 minutes. Not a huge deal. There was a snow storm in Chicago causing all these issues. As we approached the airport in Chicago and began our descent, the pilot pulled up and informed us that it was a no-go and we would be unable to land. We were now headed to Cleveland! Ok, that sucks. We landed there, and I spent the night dozing off in a plastic chair from hell. The snow was coming down hard as the sun came up in Cleveland. Cattle Car Air called us to the terminal. I thought salvation was at hand. No luck. CCA was offering a BUS RIDE back to Chicago. WTF? I had no interest in loading onto a bus with the other angry folks and heading off into a snowstorm to get to Chicago. So I waited. CCA had nothing. I sat in despair. Then about 4PM, the lovely voice of a Southwest employee announced a flight to Chicago. I ran. She said maybe. I paid my $50 and sat on the floor waiting standby. Five minutes before they were to depart, she gave me the go ahead. Finally! A very nice guy next to me said I looked like I was having a bad day and pulled out a handful of drink tickets for us to enjoy. Things were looking up!
It was not to be. Once again as we circled the airport in Chicago, the pilot said “Sorry folks, we can’t land at the moment. We will be going to Louisville” Ugh. Off we go again. Drink tickets exhausted mid flight. We landed, the pilot said to sit in the bar and be ready to go at a moments notice. It wasn’t too long until he himself walked into the bar and yelled at us to load up. We were the first to land in Chicago since the storm. It was only about 36 hours late, but I made it!

57

^^ That would have made a classic movie with Jack Lemmon back in the day

58

I have an even better story from the public health class in vet school. Our teacher had worked as an investigator for food poisoning incidents. He told us of a flight from Japan to LA. He went into great detail about the exact number of passengers and crew, how many ate the fish meal(almost all), how many kosher or vegetarian(very few) and the timing of everything such as when the meals were served. He told us about the bacteria that was eventually isolated from the fish meal. I forget the exact pathogen. However, the effects of the bacteria and its toxins were quick. In the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the passengers were struck with severe vomiting and diarrhea. It eventually got so bad that there was no use trying to use the two bathrooms and the pilot ordered everyone to their seat and to buckle in. So however bad you think your flight might be, do know that there is always something worse!

59

My family tends to break bones and end up in surgery the hospital when we are traveling far from home.

60

“He went into great detail about the exact number of passengers and crew, how many ate the fish meal(almost all), how many kosher or vegetarian(very few) and the timing of everything such as when the meals were served.”

Did the pilot eat fish? :wink: