Many HS students spend the same amount of time in robotics, theater, music, paid work commitments as the varsity athletes do. And those activities are often as demanding and inflexible as sports too.
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And I said as much. But people can fake the commitment involved in many of those.
I think you are asking a tricky question.
I think you are right that colleges often value activities more if they involve a very serious time and energy commitment and you can still balance that with a good grades in challenging courses. I don’t think they necessarily care if you do that through varsity sports specifically, but I think they can sometimes feel more confident a varsity sport is in fact like that. And I have seen AOs discuss how with various other clubs, they may need to see more details in the description to validate it actually being a major activity for you.
OK, so in theory the activity description combined with the estimated hours associated with the activity should give the AOs the information they need. But then of course some applicants may exaggerate, or indeed just lie. My sense is AOs sometimes do not have a great concern about this because the exaggerations in question are not material to their decision anyway. But they can in fact audit these things if they choose, including by reaching out to the counselor.
Long story short, if you in fact commit a lot of time to a normal activity like being, say, a yearbook editor, I would not worry about getting “credit” for that in your applications, as long as you write it up accurately.
If you are, say, “founder and President of the X Club,” well, colleges might not give that a lot of credit without a lot more verifiable details about what that really meant.
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I think the issue is not that the sport EC isn’t valued, but that it may not bring something new to the community. They already filled the “kids who love soccer” bucket and will be looking for kids with other interests. If you don’t bring something else to the table they may look elsewhere.
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I don’t understand why you would think faking those commitments is a risk, but not sports? If a student is going to lie on their app, seems like all activities would be on the table.
Many robotics teams meet every day after school and compete most weekends, all school yeaer. They travel domestically for competitions, the top teams travel internationally more than 1x/school year.
Same for music. At my kids’ HS the top bands and orchestras have intense time and travel commitments.
Same for debate. At my kids’ HS it’s the debate students who miss the most school days each year. Next up the high level hockey players (playing at levels above the HS team).
Theater can also be demanding, but not much travel there.
AOs absolutely look at overall time commitment, and consistency of that commitment. They also look at leadership and whether the student has progressed in said activities. It’s important that students include all the time commitment and use all the space when detailing their activities. When I read apps, sports=robotics=paid work=music, etc., within the same ranges of time/level of commitment.
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Your son sounds like a great kid with a strong dedication to soccer. If I were you, I would support him in that and let him see how far it can take him. As others have written, recruiting is not for the faint of heart, but holding him back from that so that he can find a leadership position to add to his resume or show he’s playing three sports at school would, in my view, be a mistake and might be something he would regret later. At the high school level, we are all impressed with the three-sport varsity athlete, but that doesn’t really carry over to college admissions and I don’t see any admissions advantage to that over playing club soccer. I also don’t think you need to worry over much about his lack of leadership positions if that’s not something he’s interested in. My son, a track athlete, was never an “official” leader of anything in high school, but he did do a lot of extra training work with the younger athletes on his team and that came through in his references. That experience also helped him find the path he’s now on in graduate school. It’s easy to drive ourselves crazy trying to help our kids set themselves up for success, but it really does all work out in the end.
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Please return to the original question and not get sidelined by hijacking questions. The OP did not ask about debate or theater or faking hours
I think club sports can be faked, or at the very least are inconsistent across programs. Robotics clubs can vary greatly across schools. But varsity sports for the school, not so much. They look pretty similar across time and school. There are obviously differences from school to school, but not nearly as much, and can be verified much easier than out of school programs.
So this goes directly to the OPs question. Are school varsity sports better than club sports for admissions? Probably not for his son if he is looking to be recruited, but for the non-recruited athlete? Maybe they are.
If D3 soccer aspirations are real, pick few D3 schools and check out their soccer rosters. Is your kid competitive? We quickly realized many of them could also qualify for D1, but didn’t want soccer to be their career.
A lot depends on your high school. Our (fairly large) public school has had half a dozen boys and girls go Div I - III plus Ivies. If it’s possible to avoid club/ travel, I would. The high school experience with friends and community can be so meaningful, especially with where we are in the world today. It might be possible to play on the high school team and supplement in the offseason with privates and club play ?? Good luck!
Using CC as free therapy, I think it’s clear to see that in a process where almost every parameter is out of our control, I’m clearly trying to “control” the ECs, aren’t I?? 
Well I’ve saved myself a co-pay there, thank you to everyone joining this group therapy session today!!
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The advantage of athletics (HS varsity) over other EC’s is not so much in the activity itself, it is that it starts with a higher level of assumed commitment. AO’s know that whether you are a starter or on the bench, you have to attend practices and train (running, lifting, etc…) in addition to attending games where you are either playing or supporting your teammates. Recognition is easier to document (captain, all-conference, all state, etc…). Even a benchwarmer can use sports to demonstrate persistence, work ethic and teamwork through their essays.
With other EC’s, it can be a little harder unless you can demonstrate your contributions. With many EC’s, it can be resume fluff where the applicant is a passive participant, and AO’s know this. There is no “automatic credit” for commitment no matter how many hours are put in the Common App without other indicias of meaningful participation.
That having been said, if you can demonstrate a high level of commitment and accomplishment, any EC can be as good as athletics unless you are a recruited athlete.
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