<p>“I’ll See You Again” is Jackie Hance’s book on the tragedy. Saw it at Costco this weekend. The cover just made me stop–the three little girls. Oh, the pain. Though I 'm sure i"m not even close in imagining the pain, it hurts terribly to even think about what happened. Driving and riding in cars has always been a terrifying milestone for me. To have an accident like this happen in what should have been a safe setting is particularly ffrightful.</p>
<p>The aftermath of all of this has been every single party involved suing and blaming everyone else involved from the diver to the husband to the car to the highway authority. The insurance companies got a way easy on this one as they anted up and got the heck out of the picture. Everyone went for blood here.</p>
<p>If I were Jackie, it would be just too inevitable that I would hover, worry-no, obsess-about the new child’s safety. I can’t imagine ever being able to relax if she were out of my sight. It would take major, MAJOR ongoing therapy for me not to turn into a total neurotic mess after what she’s been through. And my fearfulness would be a heavy burden on the child in addition to the one she already carries regarding living with the legacy of her sisters and all the implications of that.</p>
<p>I think it is wonderful that they are able to have more children. Although no child is ever replaced, there is a big difference between having a child and having none. As the mother of an only child, I am very conscious of that, believe me. </p>
<p>I know of several situations where parents who have lost a child, and who had completed their families, have later conceived another child. It seems to be a common response to this, the worst of all possible tragedies. I give these people a lot of credit. In their shoes, I don’t know whether I could be as brave. If I’d lost all of my children in a single event, I’m not sure I could ever stand up again.</p>
<p>zoosermom, I fear the same thing and am likely even more compulsive than you. Whenever one of my 5 Ds is flying, I track the flights so that I know that they’ve arrived safely. They roll their eyes and laugh at me, but I do it anyway.</p>
<p>I do the same thing. My older sister died when I was eight and that was the defining event of my childhood and my mother’s life. I have certain compulsions that are undoubtedly ridiculous, but my kids understand and humor me.</p>
<p>I am worried when a bunch of mine are all in the same car. The odds for a plane are such that I let that one go (I’m a stat person–my job for years). Not so with young male drivers. </p>
<p>Yet with what happened on Taconic Parkway, who would not let an Aunt take kids and drive the van? Who would have ever been able to predict what happened? That toxicology report was a fist hard inot the stomach after an already unbearable blow.</p>
<p>I sprained my ankle on Sunday yet worked a 10 hour day as a nurse yesterday. My facility does not have chairs or stools for the nursing staff, so we are on our feet the entire time (except during lunch). I was so exhausted yesterday, and still today, and since a cold front came in with rain and gray skies, I decided to order Jackie’s book on my Kindle and just read and veg.</p>
<p>My God, her descriptions of the hours of worry about the whereabouts of her girls before the accident, the vivid description of the moment she was told (she began shrieking, screaming, and ran out of her house down the street while horrified friends and family looked helplessly on), the terrible days leading up to the funeral, the fist into the stomach when learning about the toxicology tests (you called that right, cpt), and the horrible depressive months of living in a silent house are absolutely gut wrenching. I’ve spent the better part of the afternoon crying as I read the book. But it’s fascinating at the same time; it seems she spares nothing while describing her anguish and the daily details of living in unbearable pain and her sometimes desperate attempts to make sense of it all. </p>
<p>I remember at the time this all happened, only Diane’s husband Danny and his swarmy lawyer spent any time in the public eye, blathering on and on about their far fetched explanations of what “really” happened, while the Hances were resolutely silent. I would wonder from time to time what their take on the whole thing was. Well, this is their take. </p>
<p>I haven’t finished the book yet, but if you’ve been following this story and can handle reading about the reality of a parent’s absolute worst nightmare, I highly recommend the book.</p>
<p>I stayed up last night to finish the book. SUCH a compelling story. The Hances did have to work through a lot of issues once they became pregnant and even after giving birth to their daughter. Jackie in particular had a lot of guilt about loving a new child (feelings of disloyalty) and she was also afraid to give her heart to a child again with the knowledge of the risk that entails. </p>
<p>Something I found interesting is that they began marriage counseling almost immediately after the tragedy and I believe continue it now. Very wise decision which may have saved their marriage, because it got very very shaky.</p>
<p>It’s not necessarily a “happily ever after” ending, but one of hope.</p>
<p>I have a pretty long drive this evening and to stay awake I have ordered the audiobook on my itunes so I can play it in the car. I’ll let everyone know how it is. I am guessing a box of kleenex is in order.</p>
<p>I watched the show last night. Very compelling stuff. Also cried quite a bit at the Boston story-the mom who lost her legs and daughter was injured as well. What a great attitude they all have; I don’t know that I could be so positive.</p>
<p>I finished the book last night and I have to say that it left me emotionally drained. I do, however, recommend it. It is a compelling look into the grief suffered by this family and the amazing group of friends who helped them, and continue to help them get through each day. What I found interesting is that this is not a happily-ever-after-story with the pregnancy and birth of their fourth daughter. The decision to get pregnant again and the process was very difficult for them, as was the pregnancy, and also the arrival of Kasey. The book is heartwrenching, not only what happened on the Taconic to those beautiful three little girls but the toll it took on the Hances, their family, and their entire community. I don’t think I’ve ever read a similar non-fiction book that has had such a powerful effect on me.</p>
<p>^^^I agree. I think they will need to continue their therapy in order to make sure Kasey grows up as normally as possible. I saw a photo of Jackie holding newborn Kasey in her arms and she didn’t look particularly happy. It seemed as though they were actually pressured by friends and even the staff at the fertility clinic to go forward with the plan to become pregnant.</p>