I don’t think you are coming across as panicked at all - these are all good questions 
My D22 is also introverted and I was worried how she’d make friends - Vassar actually does a fabulous job of this - the freshman arrive a full week before the upper classes and they are bonded into groups with others on their hall for this week with student fellows from upper grades leading various activities (and culminating into house games at the end of the week). Some of my daughter’s closest friends are still from that group she met that first week. Vassar does make it difficult to change dorms - where you are assigned that first year is likely where you’ll stay for the next 2-3 years - which has some downsides, but I don’t think the mixing of grades is one of them.
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