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And let the kid decide…and celebrate!
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A NEW CAR! This 2024 Chevy Equinox comes standard with a 4-cylinder engine, four wheels, and California emissions.
To keep this post from disappearing: These three schools are adequately different from one another that if the OP’s kid chooses according to their fit variables, the choice likely will become obvious.
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My kid is super-excited to be going to Wes, and we spent the last 24 hours absorbing it via WesFest.
My feeling is, if Wes didn’t call out to your kid on his visit and a school as different from Wes as Villanova did, it sounds like Wes is not the right place for your kid. I wouldn’t agonize over it or try to convince him otherwise. Go with the place that feels right to him.
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They maintain a friendly rivalry with the hipster/Goth/artsy showrunners over who can put together the most “incredible” parties; they have their own co-ed Greek House (Psi U, one of the oldest on campus) from which the muffled beat of dance music can be heard virtually every Saturday night; they populate the stands during home football games as well as the “loud” section of the main dining hall. They can also be spotted at the local deli on their way from the gym, ordering “grinders” (the Connecticut version of a sub, hoagie, hero-style sandwich), engaging “Fran” and “Cynthia” in friendly banter (which can go on for a while - so be patient) at the cash register.
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My DC is hoping they don’t reel it in too much!
The Top 7 party school designation made my kid laugh…Not. Deserved. But it’s a good group of students that like to have fun is my sense.
For freshmen, no fraternities are available. They can only rush sophomore year. The “football house” throws parties that are more open and freshmen are able to go (when the team wins, that is…so there’s one reason to cheer for the team). There is something called “dirty rush” which i learned is when kids are invited on the down low to come and hand with some of the guys and that happens a little bit winter/spring semester. For the most part, freshmen make friends among themselves, play sports, have dorm/house parties, complain about the weather, etc. I think things socially and party-wise pick up in the sophomore years and beyond. He has made some really nice friends and I agree the campus veers more sporty/preppy. One nice thing about being in a remote environment like Colgate is that nobody is from there…or within a 2 hour drive from the school. Feels like the opportunity to make deeper connections as everyone is always there and stays put on the weekends.
He’s thrilled it’s finally gotten past 50 degrees…
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Wow! Thanks for the details! Thinking about what would be a “dream school”, it might be Boston College, for instance. Because of all its traditions, like the Boston marathon running through campus and everyone taking a day off to watch, all the retreats they do. I would want my DC to go somewhere with this kind of place where memories are built and lifelong bonds can be formed. Of course that will happen at any school, but traditions are what I value. And BC seems to have them in spades!
I’m agonizing because Wes has the amazing film program, and the open curriculum so you can do multiple majors easily. But I think my DC wants to go somewhere with the kind of fun she sees on American TV shows.
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I know I’m not supposed to give weight to students’ YouTube videos. But the only videos from Wes students are of them in their dorm room alone, walking to the store alone, maybe meeting a couple of friends for lunch, then studying alone. 
If BC is an example of your DC’s (and your) “dream school”, then I would definitely say Villanova is much closer to that than Wes or Colgate. All schools have their traditions, but what you describe that you want for your daughter sounds like a larger, “rah rah” school, a large sports school or a large Southern school more than Wes or Colgate. Do you and your child’s thoughts on this align?
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There’s an irony here in that wealthy American families are obsessed with replicating what they see as the “typical” UK experience of going to college amidst quiet and orderly courtyards, dressed in black gowns and mortarboards.
What you are describing as the typical American college experience is, “Animal House”.
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Do you currently reside in London? My son did a study abroad there, and he said the “culture” at his London college was very different than at his U.S. college. Perhaps you are seeing some of that?
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More irony - Animal House was modeled on Dartmouth. My mother says that the women’s college that they visit - where they are waiting downstairs in the dorm - looks like Mount Holyoke. That makes sense, since they visit Emily Dickinson College (and Dickinson attended there). My mother went to Mount Holyoke ('56).
I think Dartmouth and Mount Holyoke would be considered more like the UK experience.
Villanova will give you the college experience, but it isn’t Animal House. I don’t know much about Wesleyan, but it is not Animal House (and much less of the rah rah experience). Colgate is not Animal House - the fraternity stories my SIL tells are pretty tame.
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Yeah, at some point, I gotta believe even Nova students “study alone” and that even Wesleyan students can find their way to the Homecoming game:
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But your kid doesn’t want to go to Wes. And you think it looks lonely because of some YouTube videos you found. So why agonize? Your kid will probably change majors, so picking Wes just because of the film program, when it’s clearly not what your kid (or you) wants, would be silly.
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What does your student value?
Most schools have traditions, by the way. It might be as simple as you can’t walk through a gate til you graduate - but most have traditions.
You spoke about Villanova Nice - that’s a tradition.
Don’t forget, your student is going to school and most of our kids have different values and desires than we do.
Yes, I think it’s great that DC appears not to be obsessed, or at least seems immune to the usual wealthy American stress points: grades and landing a job in investment banking. Bravo!
We really need to do something about those uniforms…
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Ha! Yes, indeed! re: replicating typical UK experiences. When it comes to going to college it is often the experience one is after. Yes @thumper1 We are in London.
@Crosbylane It only became apparent that DC wants the larger, rah rah school after we went to Villanova’s admitted student’s day. Otherwise we would have focused earlier on such schools! When we researched schools, we may have paid more attention to courses and academics than traditions and culture! Which are very hard to tell unless there are YouTube videos or you can visit.
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Well, you can. You just won’t graduate . . . ever.
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