I agree with the above. Choose schools with the location, size, “vibe” and academics that you might like and then check out the music extracurriculars. In most cases it will help to avoid colleges/universities with music schools or conservatories, since BM performance candidates will get more opportunities. Be aware also that you can study anywhere where you have access to a really good teacher so you can continue lessons. You are not alone at all in what you are looking for. Good luck!
p.s. coming back to add that I looked up a few schools…Occidental and Whittier have music departments, which would be good for you; University of the Pacific and University of Puget Sound have music school/conservatory, which might mean more limited opportunities. But if you like schools that do have music schools, don’t write them off, but instead write them to inquire if a non- music major BA student can play in the best ensembles.
You can also consider a double degree, double major, or major/minor.