@deadgirl You really need to take a deep breath. You seem to be jumping from one emotional crisis headfirst into the next. First you were freaking out that you didn’t know where to go. Then you freaked out because you thought that you should be doing something else. Then you were freaking out because of impostor syndrome. Now you are freaking out because a waitlist, which is just a delayed rejection, was no longer delayed.
You seem to see everything as a vote of no confidence in your abilities. Even when you are accepted, you think that it had nothing to do with your qualifications.
So, let us put it simply: You are really, really good. Your qualifications are good enough that decisions made about your acceptance have to do with other factors that smarts and hard work. If you were accepted to CMU, you are good enough, smart enough, and hard working enough. Unfortunately, more kids who are as good as the best of the accepted students are rejected from Stanford than are accepted. That is true for every very competitive college. At CMU, you beat the odds, while at Stanford, you didn’t.
I think that the only reason you are freaking out is because you are having a difficult time dealing with the fact that your college applications are going really, really, well, so you are looking for reasons to believe that things are terrible.
“I can’t do CS, I really want to sing. CS is horrible. I want to study CS! My life is terrible because I cannot do what I really want, which is CS. No, it’s singing. I mean, CS…”
“They’re only taking me because they are being forced to take me”
“The college I really wanted is the one from which I was rejected”
You really need to enjoy your successes, and stop looking for reasons that these are failures.
It is also time that you start growing up and planning what you will be doing next year. From your other threads you will be attending CMU. So start making plans for attending one of the very best engineering programs in the world, and being successful there.