<p>I wish my kids could walk to school but they never attended a neighborhood school – always magnet programs that were too far away to walk to. Sometimes I drive, sometimes they take the bus home. I did not let them walk home from the bus stop until 6th grade, and that is because it involved crossing a major boulevard that is treated almost like a freeway by some folks. I don’t think people are used to pedestrians crossing this street and I wanted to be sure my kids were old enough to look carefully, regardless of whether or not they had the light, and judge if the driver was paying attention to the lights. My son sometimes walks home from the bus stop but I usually pick him up for a couple of reasons. He’s already been on the bus for an hour, he’s got a backpack that’s got to weigh at least 50 pounds, and he’s tired and facing hours of homework, etc. I do it to be nice when it’s convenient.</p>
<p>My mom trained me to walk the seven blocks to school when I was seven years old. She followed me for a few days and that was it. Everyone walked, but I walked alone. I grew up in an affluent neighborhood, in an era where no one worried about predators. (Once, a car stopped and I was offered candy – I ran the rest of the way to school.) But I still can’t really believe she let me walk with all those intersections to cross. She was not the only one and, as mothers go, she was the overprotective type. Times have certainly changed. Of course, as kids walk less and less, we watch the obesity rates rise higher and higher.</p>
<p>When I was in elementary school, I walked .6 miles to school, rain or snow. I often walked .5 miles to a small neighborhood market to get cigarettes for the lady across the street; she’d give me a nickel for the job, which I would spend on penny candy at the store when I got there. From fifth grade to 8th grade I walked .8 miles to school and, when I had a dentist or eye doctor appointment after school, I walked a mile to get there and another 1.1 miles home. Starting in 3rd grade I rode my bike many miles at a time to go anywhere I wanted–sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend–20+ miles sometimes.</p>
<p>It’s hard to imagine allowing such freedom today–it would probably be considered abuse or neglect, actually. No wonder I was a skinny kid!</p>
<p>Heavens, no! There was no urgency or anxiety to his demeanor. He really seemed exactly like a regular guy who was worn out and needed help getting to his destination. Polite, well-spoken, neat, calm. Either he was telling the truth, or he was a serial killer who was really good at acting. Not a petty criminal, that I’m sure of.</p>
<p>Also, he wasn’t the first guy who has ever asked me for a favor in public. He’s just the first one who didn’t set off any alarms. (But they say serial killers are good at that, don’t they?)</p>
<p>Since there has been some confusion in other threads, I should probably mention for the record that I am a man. Not typical serial-killer fodder. That’s not to make excuses, just to provide context.</p>
<p>But in reality - how many Ted Bundy’s are there? Weigh that against how many people REALLY do need help and are ignored.</p>
<p>Those of us who were raised with the Judeo-Christian ethic, feel like we should help those in their hour of need. Even if there is some risk to our own personal welfare - i.e. - we might be late, inconvenienced etc…
Sounds like mantori.suzuki gave into this - desire to give assistance. Now he feels guilty because though he feels his judgment was good is worried his own children will follow the example blindly. </p>
<p>I would have given the man a ride in those circumstances, most likely. I am sure those of you would have refused would have offered the ride if it were someone you knew or recognized (the parent of a child’s friend etc) but there was still a risk. Knowing someone casually doesn’t mean you are safe in their presence, it just lowers the risk. In your own mind.</p>
<p>Well it helps to be a man when weighing these decisions. I would certainly advise my dd to never stop & help someone, and to call for someone else to help them instead. When it comes to my kids, the chance of there being even one Ted Bundy out there is reason enough to just say no. Maybe it’s just me, but there seems to be an awful lot of Bundy types out there.</p>
<p>mantori.s, your being a man does make a difference. In the northeast where I live, I think there is an unwritten code that men do not approach women or children they do not know. I’ve noticed that the few times I’ve been approached by men for directions, they are careful to signal to me that they mean no harm (they maintain their distance, for example.) For a man to ask for a ride from a woman would be beyond the pale, I think. Anyway, this was hardly an emergency from the sound of it. Seems odd to me.</p>
