The OP did come back and is considering WashU and Bowdoin (not Wes).
Well I don’t know if they’ll like WUSTL but it’s clear they didn’t like Bowdoin.
Maybe they didn’t get into Wes or it is too expensive, but it’s the vibe they seek. I agree that WashU has better odds of finding that vibe just on sheer numbers. Not sure it’s inherently more like Wes than Bowdoin, however.
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As a Bowdoin parent, I agree with the consesus why not Wesleyan. I only know WashU by reputation and it’s not where “eyeryone was some kind of freak”.
Fit is much more important at a LAC so please consider that if finances allow for that. There is a current thread about Bowdoin being a fit for “quirky kid”.
https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/re-bowdoin-vibe-check-anyone-with-recent-experience/3687765
Also you probably know about Bowdoin’s islands but here is a little more info.
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So for context, my S24 was down to Carleton and WashU in the end, and chose WashU. He also visited Vassar as an admitted student but decided it was not as good a fit for him. He is now having an excellent first year at WashU.
But personally, like others I am wondering if Wesleyan itself could be an option. If it is the best fit, I would not hesitate to recommend it, including over WashU.
But if it has to be WashU or Bowdoin, I agree in this particular case it would probably make sense to pick WashU, for the reason another poster gave, namely that I believe it likely does have a larger subpopulation of students similar to what you were describing at Wesleyan than Bowdoin.
But that is not because it is particularly like that, it is just a midsize private research university without a really strong “culture” branding such that it tends to have a mix of different types of students. That same description would apply to many other midsize private research, and in fact much larger public research universities.
No, they do not. A quick bit of science–there is some evidence a typical human’s circle of friends tends to be around 50 people, give our take, with good friends being fewer, and best friends fewer still. Up to around 150 people might still be consider meaningful relationships, then up to around 500 acquaintances, and maybe up to around 1500 people you at least recognize.
OK, so some consequences of an LAC where there are around 4-500 people a class.
One is except when there is a new influx of first years, most people you encounter will end up recognizable, so not total strangers. I think that alone is where some kids go either way, meaning some find it a comfort to at least recognize most people around them, and others find it not so great to not meet a lot of new people on a regular basis.
Another is you will probably end up acquainted with at least most of your class. Again, a pleasure for some, maybe not so great for others, and I think this is where you start getting some kids who kinda like their LAC at first when it is new, but might find it feels a bit limited on the back end.
OK, then your meaningful relationships will be up to around 10% of your college at a time, give or take, maybe more in your own class. This is where I think fit does start to matter quite a bit. Not that you need everyone to be a meaningful relationship, but you need enough people to have enough commonality to fill out that social circle. And if it feels like most other people have all the meaningful relationships they like but you are struggling to find enough such people, that may not be the greatest feeling.
And then a smaller percentage will be actual friends, but still, it might be something close to 10% of your class. Again, I think here fit can be an important issue sometimes, where now you often might want some choices about who to make actual friends.
OK, so what happens if just your class is like 1500-2000 people?
Well first, many more of the people you encounter on a regular basis won’t even be recognizable to you. Could be good, could be bad, depends on the kid.
Likely not even half of your class will even count as an acquaintance, even by the end of your time. Again, could be good, could be bad.
Your meaningful relationships will be a much smaller percentage of the college as a whole, and of your class. I would not say this means fit doesn’t matter at all, but now something which is more of a niche common interest is likely to still capture a significant number of people.
And then you will likely have a lot of choice about who ends up your friends.
Again, I want to be clear I am not saying any given size is better or worse. I just think there is some science behind certain common sentiments, including that the smaller the size of the student community, the more important it can become to have it be at least a reasonably good fit. And some people who like meeting a lot of new people regularly might also want a larger size than around 2000, soon or later.
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My kid came down to choosing between Bowdoin and another school in a much more urban setting. They chose the urban and have loved it and the opportunities outside of campus. Also not sure where you are from. Maine winters are no joke.
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